u/Dry_Literature_8751

This might be a long one so if you like reading then here you go. (Go to the last paragraph if you want me to get straight to the point)

I have made a post here before. And I'm completely aware that this might be like such a stupid thing since you guys definitely have it worse but I still need to say it I guess.

Context:

Basically, my dad had 'replaced' me with my older half sister. I sometimes think that I shouldn't be complaining as I'm the only sibling to have a sort of present dad who lives with me out of the 3 of us. Ever since she got married about 4 years ago he's always talking to her and speaking less to me over time. He doesn't even know my favourite colour. If he comes home from work, he doesn't even say hello. If he does, he's on the phone with her. Me and my mum (when we're not pissed at each other) talk about it to an extent, and she's got her own feelings of my sister which I understand why. It's a long story but basically, her family were almost physical with her. Other than the favouritism he's been emotionally distant. Only 2 days ago my mum confirmed that he talks to my sister everyday, but I only get some half-assed conversation during the week and that's because he has to. Not because he wants to. Sometimes he doesn't come home for days from work so I understand that part but a little effort would be okay. He's also gone on holiday on my birthday once and he nearly went back to visit my sister in another country during my birthday week.

On my mum's side, she can be fine for a period of time then all hell breaks loose. Suddenly I'm very lazy, rude, angry and there's always a problem. Grades, apparently I don't try hard enough when she knows I've lost sleep, threatens to hit me because my room might've been slightly 'messy' or something stupid and she's openly disagreed with me doing music GCSE for a long time and she still makes comments about it, even though it's been a good year since I chose it. I'm already doing triple science since I want to be a psychologist or something so if I hadn't picked music I would've lost my mind because most of my days are entirely academic. She's also dismissed my feelings a lot so sometimes I could tell her about school drama when she's not in a bad mood from work but I couldn't tell her much in case she'll be mad at me because someone else could be having a worse life. She also dismisses my issues with religion as if praying problems off works for everyone, and gets mad when I suggest a different alternative.

Both my parents have openly said they wouldn't accept me for my sexuality too if I ever came out. I had a hiccup with some girl on Boxing Day and they sent me to my room for 5 hours without eating dinner because she liked me. Then went on to explain that they'd kill me.

Throughout all of this nonsense, I've wanted to go no contact once I get a decent job and move away to Canada or something away from most of the family since they're terrible people. I've spent the past 2 years trying to accept the fact that I'll be all alone when that happens so it comes back to my main point. If they pass, will I be sad? I love them but I don't like them. I mean emotional absence from my dad and neglect from my mum (I think, please tell me if it's something else) and blatant unacceptance will make it very hard to grieve. Am I like some terrible human being for hesitating grief about immediate family?

I'm 14F and I really like my friend? best friend? I don't really know. I'm going to keep this simple. Our friends have all thought we've been dating, and we deny it, laugh about it, move on although we flirt frequently. But today she sent me a video on tiktok. something about people assuming we're dating. I tried to see where it would go so i said "next time someone asks I'm going to say that we are". Not sure why I said that. We've been real flirty last couple of days and I'm kind of nervous. I know she's lesbian so I'm not worried about that. I know for certain teen relationships don't last. barely a few months if we're lucky. So I'm worried. If I actually date her and we break up, it's going to be awkward and I can't exactly fix that.
Or I'm just being stupid and she's being this flirty as a joke.
Should I wait until we soft launch to each other because I'm convinced we almost did today or should I just not even bother?

I'm 14F and I really like my friend? best friend? I don't really know. I'm going to keep this simple. Our friends have all thought we've been dating, and we deny it, laugh about it, move on although we flirt frequently. But today she sent me a video on tiktok. something about people assuming we're dating. I tried to see where it would go so i said "next time someone asks I'm going to say that we are". Not sure why I said that. We've been real flirty last couple of days and I'm kind of nervous. I know she's lesbian so I'm not worried about that. I know for certain teen relationships don't last. barely a few months if we're lucky. So I'm worried. If I actually date her and we break up, it's going to be awkward and I can't exactly fix that.
Or I'm just being stupid and she's being this flirty as a joke.
Should I wait until we soft launch to each other because I'm convinced we almost did today or should I just not even bother?

I (14F) am going into year 10 in September (I'm in the UK) and I've basically been in constant drama all year round for year 9. Something new always came around and I started my GCSE course in year 9, and I have religious studies exam in year 10. It triggered a lot of stress from setting, and predicted grades and all that stuff.

I know I'll be even more stressed due to my exam and my first set of mocks around Christmas and this is where my question comes in: Am I arrogant?

In the drama I mentioned earlier, a particular girl who I was sort of friends with talked about me and since I dislike her for being male centered and outing me to people who don't need to know that I'm a lesbian and more reasons. Someone had told me she said I am arrogant and I never like to be wrong. Naturally, I reacted. I said something about me not being arrogant and stuff until I brought the situation to my mum.

She had said I do ridicule people for saying stupid things and I do get extremely happy and cocky whenever I beat someone in a test. This conversation was around mid-may and we're pushing August. I've been going back on everything I've said and done and, the girl lowkey has a point.

I can get arrogant when people are stupid because it frustrates me, like you're in set 2 maths and you're asking: "what's 400+8?". I think that's pretty reasonable- I wouldn't even call it arrogance. But then again, I sometimes do add in comments when I've done well on a particularly hard test like "It was so easy" and "How did you not get that?" but the minute I do terrible on a test, I just shutdown and I don't want to discuss the test let alone share my score, and I can get intense about it.

The problem is, I act like that more if it's someone I don't like because yeah, beating someone you don't like feels amazing. I sometimes do it to my friends but I can hide behind the "banter" excuse but sometimes I can take it too far. One time I accidentally overdid it to some friend (we're not friends anymore) and she posted something about her thinking she's stupid, and it turned out she's basically dyslexic (her diagnosis had a long name and I can't remember it) and she has ADHD.

I've also expressed some rage like a year ago on a different platform about my old friend beating me by one and I basically got called a bunch of names relating to being arrogant so this isn't a one-off thing.

This could be because my parents do care a lot about my grades and they often don't feel like I'm trying at all when I get a bad grade when all I do is try, or my grade is constantly seen as not good enough so when I get a bad grade, I feel stupid, like the people I've called stupid.

So In summary, I've been called arrogant, and I was deadly convinced I wasn't and now I'm not sure if I am, or I do it out of hatred for people I don't like, or I just do it because I'm insecure.

So; this may seem like a dumb Question but, am I truly arrogant?

I've posted here about my dad replacing me with my older half sister which I think I took down or something so I know what I'm doing.

My family is from Zimbabwe, and I was born in England and every year we go to Zimbabwe to visit family. I'm only saying this because the chances of my friends at school being on reddit alone are slim and finding this post is even slimmer.

Anyway, We might be going back this August or October during the half term break which is only a week since i have my first GCSE exam in year 10 and whatnot (Don't ask why my school just does Religious Studies early).

Really, I've been hiding behind that excuse for 3 whole years. 'Oh but I have this test..' stuff like that. I really don't want to go for 4 main reasons

1. My family on both sides are crazy, and some have committed crimes and i quite frankly don't want to be near them other than the fact that they take the piss out of me, and follow some bullshit traditions

2. Sometimes it's true, my grades do go down when I go on holiday in the middle of the year, which isn't already great for my mental health which is an entirely separate issue

3. I'm a lesbian. Possibly She/They at the moment (i haven't figured that bit out right now) So once I go into a country that doesn't support me and is majority strong christians, I feel stupidly out of place, which usually brings my mental health down dramatically If I stay for more than a week

4. The main reason: My parents fight.

I've never really told anyone this. Well, i've vaguely said it to my best friend but I said something about it being a petty argument. Every time I go to Zimbabwe, I think the lack of sleep from connecting flights and the stress of travelling in general gets to them but it has ended up physical sometimes. Sometimes my mum strikes first, or she taunts my dad which causes him to hit first and we've almost called the police twice. According to my parents, One has either been a compulsive liar about belongings or one's being unreasonable. I've witnessed most of this and I get scared. I may not like my parents but it's still crazy as fuck. It's been happening more and more recently and given the circumstances of my Older half sister and a business they run, I expect things to blow up. When I was younger I got so scared I froze and I was in shock, just stood in the same spot for 2 hours. The last time this happened, I was convinced they were divorcing since my mum mentioned staying at her mum's for the rest of the trip, but that didn't happen.

I don't really know what I want from this, I mean, both my parents are shitty parents but maybe i want feedback or something on what to do? I don't know. Feel free to add some stuff.

Thanks for reading, I know I talk a lot

This is a long one so bare with please
and i might do one on my mum at some point too

We used to be so close. He used to take me to the park and whatnot but the second i turned 12, it all just changed. For context, i have 3 half siblings. 1 half brother (19) and 1 half sister (27) from my dad, and for my mum, one half sister (26). I'm the youngest. You could say i am lucky for having both parents in the picture as none of my siblings didn't which I'm grateful for, but I don't know.

My oldest half sister who we'll call Ruby for the sake of this got married in 2022, so she was 23, to her husband who we'll call Samuel. According some sources from my family, he's estimated to be like, 10 years older than her which is the first red flag. Anyway, my sister and my dad has gotten closer over the past 2 years. They always talk and when I'm at home I always hear "Ruby this, Ruby that, Ruby did xyz" which was alright at first but now it's getting ridiculous. Each time we go to our home country Ruby tags along and she's very immature. We went to our grandmother's grave and she was stepping on the tomb stones.

Anyway, Ruby does running. She does a lot of Marathons with her husband and now that's sort of rubbed on my dad. He's got a fitness watch, running shoes, and he always runs about 5-15km after fixing multiple cars at work. All me and my mum heard was Ruby and Running. Things got so ridiculous that he nearly went to our home country near my birthday to see her (which would make it the second time he's done that). Usually when my mum's at work and my dad comes home early, i try to make conversation with him and he doesn't really listen anymore. I don't think he could tell you my favourite colour at this point. I try to talk to him about guitar because i have 4 and i do gcse music but he never wants to hear it. One time he called me down and forced me to play (recording btw) to send to Ruby. He's also recorded my conversations with him to send to Ruby which is just.. diabolical.

My whole family kinda shat on me for picking music GCSE because, hello? I'm african that's just not a thing. But besides the point, I hope you see where I'm going here. For the past 2-3 or so years, I've just felt replaced in a way, and I probably shouldn't feel that way hence i've grown with both parents in the picture but it still stings when he doesn't bother to find tickets for my music performances, and when he takes me places, he's on the phone to Ruby.

Aside from that drama in general, he just doesn't engage in conversation anymore, he never texts me anymore and all of our interactions is him being angry or just saying hello to me before speaking on the phone with someone else.

I want to know what this is called and how to i deal with it?

You're a g if you read this entire thing oml

Heads up: This is in secondary school so cut me some slack here

I'll jump right in. I (F) and my friend who we'll call Tiana (F) have been friends since we started secondary but recently we've butted heads a few times and stuff like that but usually when she gets like that, she usually has a reason with mental health.

I was scrolling and i see that she feels insecure (I mean everyone does, we're teenagers) But this really pissed me off. She reposted a video about having a friend take a bad picture of her and spamming it on a group after she says not to. I find this EXTREMELY hypocritical.

She has multiple bad pictures of me collected over the years, put almost all of them as 'birthday mugs' on my birthday basically embarrassing me for everyone to see (She had like average 30-40 of me for every slide) and she's constantly threatened to leak some pictures of me in primary school as some videos of me are on youtube and she found them. She's also contacted my primary school friend (We'll call her Willow) and they had been secretly sharing mugs of me for a good few months without my knowledge which i put a stop to. Tiana frequently sends me these bad pictures sugar coated as 'memories' and made fun of me. there was this situation recently where an accidental mug had been taken by my friend of me and she turned it to a sticker on a group chat. It took me to asking her to stop multiple times before she finally did.

I could honestly go on for ages but I don't want to keep you here for long. Really, what I'm asking is what should I do? It's clearly fine when she does it even when i try to shut it down but when i do it, it's a crime. It's impossible for me to talk to her because she always avoids hard topics where we set boundaries so it's very difficult for me to try and work something out. Just something, I know it's such a non issue but I'm kind of lost.