u/DyslexicWriting

me and my friends are playing the community addition of the mod pack in 1.12.2 and we need to get HP solvent to get bismuth from bedrock ore but every way is blocked as we need reformate gas to make HP solvent but to make reformate gas you need machines that need a versatile intricated circuit board which needs bismuth but we cant get without HP solvent

its an infinite circle where to get one thing you need another thing you need the first thing to even make

help please we are so lost and the wiki is of no help

Edit: there are 3 of us working on figuring this out, we cant do it, please help

Edit 2: we are not on expensive mode

You see im Bi and Asexual and for me when ever I have dated someone its because i noticed they had a crush on me and just told myself "oh i should like them back" and then i just would start to, to me the love felt real the entire time and hell it would feel so real i would be in a toxic relationship but tell myself i still love the person. But as soon as i would break up with them or they would break up with me those feeling love would just vanish without a trace. Also there is the fact that every crush i have had in the last few years has gone "i want / should find love" and find someone who is part of a friend group im in but not close to and just decide i have feeling for them and gaslight myself for a few weeks i find them attractive and like them before a red flag is noticed or they do something that snaps me out of it and then i realize i never had any feelings for them at all

Because of that my friends say i have never felt real love and that i might be aromantic but it felt real to me even if it faded instantly when it was over

I mean i want love and to feel close to someone so i don't think im Aromantic but my friends keep telling me everything im saying sounds very much like being Aromantic to them

Im just wondering what you all think after hearing that all and if you agree with my friends or disagree with them / could explain to me if im miss understanding something about being Aro since as far as i know its the lack of / having no feelings of romantic attraction at all

You see for me when ever I have dated someone its because i noticed they had a crush on me and just told myself "oh i should like them back" and then i just would start to, to me the love felt real the entire time and hell it would feel so real i would be in a toxic relationship but tell myself i still love the person. But as soon as i would break up with them or they would break up with me those feeling love would just vanish without a trace. Also there is the fact that every crush i have had in the last few years has gone "i want / should find love" and find someone who is part of a friend group im in but not close to and just decide i have feeling for them and gaslight myself for a few weeks i find them attractive and like them before a red flag is noticed or they do something that snaps me out of it and then i realize i never had any feelings for them at all

Because of that my friends say i have never felt real love and that i might be aromantic but it felt real to me even if it faded instantly when it was over

I mean i want love and to feel close to someone so i don't think im Aromantic but my friends keep telling me everything im saying sounds very much like being Aromantic to them

Im just wondering what you all think after hearing that all and if you agree with my friends or disagree with them / could explain to me if im miss understanding something about being Aro since as far as i know its the lack of / having no feelings of romantic attraction at all

asking since long story short i have been sober from weed for 2 years and 3 months now after getting addicted to it for like a year and a half

during which my Synesthesia felt like it was in overdrive while high but since quiting it has always felt lesser then even prior to smoking weed, its still very much there at all times but its almost like im tuning it out much more with some days or certain stimuli making it stronger some days then others

im just wondering has anyone else experienced this? im just wondering if as i got older i just got better at tuning it out ( my version makes it so every sound has a shape that can me like a hyper detailed 3d model in my head paritally added by my hyperphantashia ) or if smoking so much weed like fried a part of my brain a little bit making my Synesthesia weaker in a sense

this has been getting worse and worse since this year started but maybe it started further back then that im unsure. But pretty much everything i achieve that SHOULD make me happy feels hollow, i feel little happiness and what happiness i do feels hollow

like for example 2 big things in my life i finally achieved was that a month ago i got one of my dream tattoo's and today i reached my minimum weight goal of 150 pounds after being 194 in February.

The tattoo is something i have dreamed of for years and is sorta like a mark to show me finally getting at least partially free from under my family's thumb and the weight loss is well weight loss to be more like how i once was and to like my body more ( i was 120 when i gradated high school 3 years ago )

both where major things for me, but once i achieved both and even with a lot of the journey to lose my weight it all felt hollow, little happiness from it all even tho i LOVE my tattoo i feel no joy looking at it even though i know i should and want to. Same with my weight loss where this morning i had a brief "yay i did it" in my head that fellow hollow and faded withing seconds and now nothing.

Hell i feel happiest when telling others about my wins and showing them my tattoo and such then actually achieving them but even then that happiness feels just as hollow, sure the joy is stronger but its still hollow and is also sorta forced since i know i should be happy so i should show people im happy even if my happiness feels hollow and less then what i show

what do you do when this happens? anyone who has experienced this / something similar or has a friend who has delt with this and may know what there friend did have any advice?

asking since i have a lot going on in life and its making mental health worse and i just KNOW its building up to this break down, like maybe in a few days maybe a few weeks everything that's going on is gonna be finally to much and is gonna hit me like a train which will suck

what do you do when you know the train is coming?

asking since i have a lot going on in life and its making mental health worse and i just KNOW its building up to this break down, like maybe in a few days maybe a few weeks everything that's going on is gonna be finally to much and is gonna hit me like a train which will suck

what do you do when you know the train is coming?

Im at a point in my life where i dont see meaning in my life while everyone else is achieving or reaching there dreams

I got a friend who just graduated college to become a teacher, one who is going to seminary to become a priest, one who became a fire fighter, and all others in or going to college for there dream jobs and all my friends who want love have found love and are dating honestly the best people i have ever seen them date

then there is me. A college drop out stuck working at the family factory after failing to become a lawyer and any dream i can think of left i dont have the talent for or my family wont pay for college for it. and also i cant find love no matter how hard i look, i tried dating apps, asking friends to set me up, ect but not even 1 date ( to be fair im not going up and hitting on random people since i dont wanna be creepy )

Mix that with the fact that already when ever any of my friends are in college i get texted less and less and after this summer all but 2 of my friends with be at college ( one being a fire fighter so he is always busy ) and i know i will be left more alone then ever. And my friends are the only thing that gives my life any level of meaning

beacuse of all of this i just feel lost, left behind, and hopeless and i just want a purpose and to have meaning in my life

does anyone know how to find purpose or meaning in life?