In addition to agoraphobia and panic disorder I struggle with PMDD (a severe form of PMS that causes intense anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, mood swings, etc.) I'm also on the autism spectrum.
I just feel like I have too many things stacked against me and I'll never be able to recover or enjoy my life again. I don't know why I even try.
I feel like I'm trapped in a life that I don't want to live.
Every single person I'm interested in has a shitty ex that they aren't over or they just don't reciprocate.
I don't expect to be everyone's cup of tea, and I don't want to come across as a "nice girl". I'm not being inauthentic to get laid or whatever and I don't feel entitled to anyone, but I genuinely don't understand why the people I'm interested in never reciprocate.
I think that I'm a genuine, attractive, smart, funny, creative, emotionally intelligent person. I have a lot of empathy, compassion, and I like to make people feel seen, heard, understood, etc.
People always say things like, "Your worth isn’t defined by whether someone else sees it." but it's really fucking hard to not start internalizing that there's something wrong with me when this is what always happens.
ETA: I'm sorry, I should've included this in the beginning (I'm sleep deprived at the moment) but I'm a lesbian.