u/Electronic_Eye_4017

So in 8th grade, i was mostly friends with two people. They were toxic but i still stuck with them. I kind of disregarded that and thought they were misunderstood, by my class...

I mostly hung out with them and paired together in groups in some classes.

So in French class, we have studied about the book "Cyrano de Bergerac", we could choose out groups to pair with and of course i chose to be with those girls. We had the chance to extend our revision time in "permanence" (some free period where we have to go in a specific room. You can draw, read books, etc. In silence.),

and one day in that room, i wore a black coat and I had also worn some pants that were not very "big", I admit. so it left out a part of my behind. We were doing revision like any other day when i suddenly felt one finger sliding through my butt crack. And another one repeatedly. It was terrifying. They were laughing while doing this. I did tell them to stop repeatedly but they didn't. I wanted to leave so much. They apologized after but this still made me cry that night.

Over time I couldn't go to school after that. I voluntarily skipped classes, etc. I felt uncomfortable when i was near them (or paired with them in class, I can recall some times where my leg started jumping or not wanting any leg—contact with them in music) and even cried (although I was confused about the reason why I cried at the time.). I was aware of what sexual assault was but i was completely... I guess *unsure* of if this was truly sexual assault or if i was just overreacting.

Due to my long absence the school called a lot but i couldn't explain at all. To anyone. I felt so scared to.

Also something did change within my behavior. I felt so unstable . I felt funny, was laughing and crying, became irritated. I had some " innapropriate " reactions too.

After a while (before school ended) i saw a psychiatrist, and i only tried to speak about what happened after a few sessions i think (it was before i mentioned that i wanted to switch schools.) But i did leave out my suspicion of whether or not this was sa to see if they were going to mention it. And they did confirm that it was sexual assault. They had to tell my parents about it. I don't remember much of the confrontation after.

But, i atleast was able to switch schools for the next year (2024 - 2025). The other school was nice but the past would still affect me. Of course people were going to ask me questions about why i switched schools but I've felt more "keen" on telling my story to a small amount of people.

So, now, I had to move schools again (2025 - this year) and I've only told my story during a "secret" meeting club in my class. And that's it.

I gotta admit, it still feels so darn embarrassing to talk about it. Even though i feel less terrified to do it. But i have support, and this is all i need.

They're all so nice now? Or maybe not, maybe I'm just too used to that family setting

I hate them but I love them also? But I still feel so empty, so confused within myself, it feels almost suffocating. Infuriating. It's like when you put so many "mismatched" ingredients at once that it feels so strange.

I cannot specifically describe the current "status" of the family relationship. They often have or do contradictory behavior or rules.

But also there's. Whenever we are going well suddenly they say or do something that feels worng. That hurts me. Then they go back to that good, parent facade. That thing can happen so quickly or even in a subtle way.

It's painful to see them put that fucking facade towards other people. It's like. Oh my God.

For a long time i've been trying to just see their thought process behind what they're doing but it just gives me a headache. Is it bad if I say that they should've stuck into one parenting style? Or at least just pick a lane. So many things are worng with them.

I just feel manipulated. I feel emprisoned, inside and outside. It kinda makes me feel like i'm a kid again. This is what they wanted isn't it?

I was planning to tell everything to my trusted people if i could get to go to my native country/town but another part of me does not want to. I didn't suffer for nothing. I wish i could just be alone. or something.

For the Beasts and the Ancients

I settled on White Lily (Rumi), Hollyberry(Zoe) and Golden Cheese(Mira) for the HUNTRIX

But for now i'm still deciding on the roles of some of the other characters, especially the Saja boys lol.

And also their designs 😭 And maybe the world-building

I just want to say that i did not go through "everything" about them here because of more personal reasons. Also my memory can be blurry, since it was almost three years ago? So my apologies if some parts confuse you

In primary school i was pretty sociable with my other classmates but, i had one specific friend (and a little friend group?) that i hanged out with more? They were like super

nice and funny. Kids kind of made fun of them but I thought that it was stupid. I think they were in some sort of "special ed" class (it had a different name though in our native language)?? Didn't understand it at the time but I was kinda sad they weren't in the same class as mine

Before primary school ended we kind of hoped we would go to the same middle school and stuff. But uhh spoiler we didn't.

I have really missed them for the first two years of middle school. Even if I've managed to make some friends. Things went by...

But then on 8th grade, to my surprise they moved to my school.. I thought it was someone else at first but now I clearly saw their face and i ran and hugged them because i felt more happy! We weren't in the same class though but it was cool. We were also able to send each other's contacts so we could text.

I've **had** "friends" who mocked them (They were the kind of people to just be mean in a more.. "Covert" way, even when people can clearly hear them sometimes. I don't even know why i decided to stay with them in the first place..)

I think i've had a one sided crush with them at some point? but for some time i was more absent at school and would've rather text. I still went but like, not as much.

So after a while i've noticed that they weren't really there and i kind of asked some people about it, and then my friends.

My "friends" were laughing saying that they moved schools, which... Feels suspicious now that i think about it (they actually did move out but their reaction was concerning.)

That's basically it... I couldn't text them any more because they've lost their account. I can only wish that they have a wonderful life, wherever they are 🙂‍↕️.

Hello , how is everyone doing?

I wanted to share my kin list . (Can't send images at the moment unfortunately ...)

• Paige، Sue (Inanimate Insanity MCSN AU)
• Kyomoto (Look Back)
• Felix Ferne (Nowhere Boys)
• Steph (EMH)
• Makoto, Futaba (Persona)
• Kris (Deltarune)
• Carmen Sandiego (2019)

Doubles are fine .

Hello

Honestly i find playful teasing amusing (by looking at other people and especially my friends do it) but i've never really known how to do it or how to respond/reply to it.

I feel like one of the things i worry about is that i try to say something funny/tease but the person doesn't understand it, or the other way around

i just love love rhythm games in general. I remember playing RUSHER before on my pc but kinda left after because it was crashing lol. Then one/two weeks ago i played it for real this time (on my phone). And It was awesome. I love how they incorporate different music genres with different maps/charts and everthing (Like the fact that you can play both vertically and horizontally too! Technically..), very amazing!! I think my favorite songs for now are " the world of scarlet " and " HORIZON CHARTREUSE " (Fun fact, i didn't even know it was made for this game and i just really like AZALI's music).

UPT: Oh there is also The Next Arcardy it's soo good!!

I'm new to this sub and wanted to say hi 👋.

This is Paige, i'm 15 and i like lots of things.. like cheese 😛

Hope y'all have a good day, or night

Another post

They were many times in the past where my mom would wash me. It was normal. But overtime, i grew. So of course I wanted to do it myself now. But, my mom would refuse it for some reason. Now time has passed and I really didn't want her to wash me anymore because she very often criticizes me and tells me bad things about me and what other people are going to think about my body/face/etc, while washing my parts. Also I was in middle school now. It felt painful. It might feel a stretch but, I felt like I was being held out of something that's really... "Personal", to me. I did fully cry many times, I really didn't want to get touched by her, or anyone. When I didn't want to however because of this, she completely freaks out and gets mad, trying to justify herself. I even had to close the damn because she cannot respect my boundaries and knock loudly on the door.

Might be unrelated but there was also a time where I was at my uncle's house and he yelled at me threatening to wash me instead if I don't do it but it's kind of blurry to when I think about it. I was distraught though.

Let me know what you think

I wanted to find a subreddit where I could describe what I am about to say (or what you are about to read), and I think I found the one? If it's not, feel free to tell me about it. And sorry if some parts of the text is written in a weird way, i sometimes forget words and try to simplify them. If there is anything that I have to remove though I will.

(Most of the things i've censored is because is does contain mentions of physical abuse)

I feel so bad for my lil siblings. They have been suffering because of my parents harmful beliefs and behaviors. Just a moment ago, I heard my father screamed at my brother really loud and he cried, >!I don't know if he had hit him too at the moment but he still does do it sadly!<. But he then yelled at him saying " boys don't cry ", repeatedly. I was in shock. I really wanted to step in but I don't know what he was going to do. I am so scared of confronting my father in those situations. Even trying to have a normal conversation about what he's doing feels like a threat.

Mention of a slur >!And the other day, again with my brother , dad yelled again just because he was playing with " girls toys" because apparently it was a "gay thing" (tried to make it closely accurate to what he said in French. He said a french slur. )!<

Another note, I didn't know if I really had to write it here but it still felt important to me, this contains mentions of past traumatic memories/events:

>!Another time, is something that my father did last August was so traumatic and it did make my other siblings and i distraught. A week ago I believe, we hung out with my sister for fun and said funny facts and " anecdotes " to each other. She then described in detail what happened in August by laughing and that was really saddening to hear. And I was scared because, I don't know if this is going to be unrelated or not but, the earliest memory that I have of my traumatic abuse by my parent was with my dad and, I was at a certain age. And my sister is going to reach that same age so it feels like i'm watching it happen all over again. !<

My mother and maybe my father as well have a weird habit where they try to make favourites in the family as well, often talking down and saying false things about me to my siblings as if I'm a lost cause. ( I'd better be a lost cause than continuing to please them anyway. ). >!And then get mad and even hit them when they repeat the same things they told!! !<

But Honestly the best I can do is doing activities with them and treat them good when nothing's going on. But if there is any other way of helping them please let me know -