u/Embarrassed_Essay_61

Been dealing with this on and off for about 4 months and the gut health connection is real - every flare seems to line up with digestive issues. I've got the diet pretty much sorted, hydration good, probiotics, the works.

But the hemorrhoids themselves are still lingering. Feels like I'm managing everything around them but not the actual problem. What hemorrhoid treatment has actually worked for people here beyond just lifestyle stuff?

My husband and I have been together 7 years, married for 3. Lately something just feels… off between us at night and I can’t stop thinking about it. We’ll get into bed and within maybe 2 minutes he’s on his phone. Reddit, YouTube, sports clips, random scrolling. Then somehow an hour and a half passes without us really talking at all.

Meanwhile our sex life has slowly dropped off over the last year. Not overnight. Just little by little to the point where now I notice the absence of it constantly.

If I try initiating, most of the time he says he’s tired. Or stressed. Or his brain is fried from work. But then I’m lying next to him in the dark while his face is lit up from his phone until 1 in the morning. And honestly I think that’s the part messing with me emotionally.

Because it’s hard not to start wondering how someone can be “too exhausted” to connect with you, but still stay mentally locked into a screen for hours.

Sometimes I’ll try talking to him while he’s scrolling and I can physically feel I only have part of his attention. It’s like I am competing with his phone. He loses himself so much on the phone that he is most probably unaware about how much it is affecting both of us and his health as well.

I don’t even think the phone itself is the real issue anymore. It’s more like he disappears into it completely. Some nights I’ll be lying right next to him trying to talk about something small from my day and I can tell he didn’t hear half of it because he’s still scrolling while saying “yeah” every few seconds.

And I know work genuinely drains him. I’m not trying to act like he’s choosing his phone over me in some dramatic way. But it does start messing with my head after a while.

I guess I’m asking if anyone has dealt with something similar where their partner slowly got too absorbed in their phone habits and how you even begin helping with that without making them feel attacked or controlled.

TL;DR: Husband is too tired for intimacy most nights but ends up scrolling for hours just lying next to me. Although I love him the most, but have recently felt lonely and disconnected. I’m also worried the constant phone use is affecting both our relationship and him personally (a lot more than he realizes).

I’m new to GLP 1s and starting Foundayo soon. Since it’s a daily pill, I want something simple that helps me stay consistent without overcomplicating everything.

Ideally I’d like an app that can remind me when to take it, track side effects, weight, appetite, meals, water, protein, and how I’m feeling day to day.

Any recommendations?

was married for 14 years. finalized the divorce six months ago. my friends keep telling me I need to "get back out there" and honestly I think I'm ready made profiles on hinge and bumble and then stood in front of my closet for 20 minutes realizing everything I own falls into two categories: "school pickup mom" and "trying to look 28 again"

I genuinely don't know what to wear on a first date at 45. everything in stores feels like it's designed for someone a decade younger or someone who's given up entirely. I want to look like myself but a version of myself that didn't spend the last 14 years dressing for soccer games and couple dinners where nobody cared how are other women navigating this? I don't want a full makeover I just want to feel like ME again but the version that's actually excited about life

I used to think I was just bad at studying.

Every night I’d tell myself “tomorrow I’ll lock in.”
I’d make a plan. Feel motivated. Go to sleep.

Next morning?
Phone in hand, Notifications, One scroll, Then another.
Suddenly 30-40 minutes gone.

By the time I sat at my desk, my brain already felt overloaded.
Studying felt heavy before I even opened the book.

I kept blaming discipline. Turns out it wasn’t that.

What actually helped was noticing how much focus I burned before studying.
I was giving my brain easy dopamine first thing, then expecting it to calmly focus right after. That was the mistake.

So instead of fixing my routine, I changed how my day actually started -

No phone in bed.
No scrolling before my first session.
No just one video.

Not forever. Not extreme. Just before the first session.

The first few days felt weird Too quiet I would say.
I kept reaching for my phone without thinking.

But starting got easier.
Not fun Not magical Just… less resistance.

I still procrastinate. I still have off days.
But I don’t feel broken anymore.

If studying feels impossible lately, it might not be your routine.
It might be what you’re doing before you even try to start.

That realization changed more than any timetable ever did.

This is going to sound dramatic. I've owned the same bra in three colors for like 4 years. It's the Wacoal one a lot of you know. Yesterday morning I'm getting dressed for my friend Linda's daughter's wedding shower and I put on the nude one and the band just sat in a totally different spot than it ever has. Higher? maybe? And the straps wouldn't lay flat over my shoulders no matter how I adjusted them.

I stood in the closet and tried the other two colors. Same issue. Same exact bras I've worn through my fifties and they're suddenly wrong on me.

I'm 54. I knew the bust thing would happen eventually. What I didn't expect is that the ribcage itself feels different under my hands. Wider at the bottom, narrower at the top. Like my whole upper body got rearranged when I wasn't paying attention.

Ended up wearing a different bra and a cardigan over the dress I'd planned on so nothing would gape. Spent the shower mostly thinking about my own torso instead of being present. Did anyone else hit this and just have to start completely over with bras? I don't even know where to start.

Lately I’ve noticed how hard it’s become to just sit with a quiet moment without reaching for my phone. Waiting somewhere, eating, walking, even small breaks during the day… I automatically check something.

And most of it doesn’t even matter afterwards.

I miss when life felt a bit slower naturally. Longer evenings, getting bored sometimes, thinking more, noticing more.

Recently I had a quieter day where I barely used my phone except when needed. The slowness felt uncomfortable at first, but after some time I actually felt calmer and less mentally crowded.

Made me realize how noisy my normal days have become.

I’m still figuring out how to balance this without completely disconnecting from everything.

If others here feel this too, and what has genuinely helped you create a calmer relationship with screens.

44f. Fibromyalgia diagnosis 2020. Before that I owned twelve pairs of heels. Wore them most places. I liked how I felt in them the height, the posture, the specific version of myself that moved through the world that way.

After diagnosis I kept them. Good days might come when I could wear them. Twice I tried and paid for it for two days afterward. Mostly they just sat.

Last month I donated all but two pairs. And it hit harder than I expected.

The grief wasn't really about the shoes. It was about the version of me who wore them the one who moved differently, occupied space differently, had a relationship with her body that was lighter and less negotiated. That version is still me in most important ways. She just doesn't wear heels, and I think I needed to give the shoes away before I could admit that out loud.

I'm sharing this because I don't think the wardrobe grief gets talked about. The visible symptoms get talked about. The getting-dressed-with-this-body part I mostly work through alone.

Was married 19 years. Divorce was final last spring. Started dating again three weeks ago, opened my closet last night to pick something for a second date, and just stood there for 25 minutes feeling sick.

Every single piece is something he picked, or something I bought because I knew he'd like it. The "good" jeans because he said the others made me look heavy. The blouses in his favorite green. Even the dress I wore on our first anniversary trip is hanging in there, like a museum exhibit of someone else's taste.

I'm not trying to look 27. I'm not trying to look "hot" for the new guy. I genuinely don't know what I would pick if no one was watching. I think that's what's freaking me out, that I literally don't know my own taste anymore.

Has anyone else been through this? How did you start figuring out what you actually like vs what someone trained you to like over two decades?

We've been separated since March, divorce is finalizing in two weeks, I've been doing the slow apartment sort that everyone says you eventually do.

Last weekend I got to the closet. I'd been avoiding it. I started pulling things and asking myself one question per piece: did he pick this, or did he like this best on me. Anything that was a yes to either went into a black trash bag. I was expecting maybe a third of the closet. It was 70%.

Some specific casualties: the cream silk blouse I bought because he said it "looked expensive on me." Two pairs of jeans he liked because they were "flattering" (I always thought they were uncomfortable). A whole drawer of neutrals he steered me into because he thought my taste in color was "a lot." Three dresses I bought for events he wanted to attend.

The bag is sitting in the hall closet. I don't know what to do with it. I know I'm not going to wear those things again, that's not the question. The question is what's left.

What's left is, no joke, like 6 t-shirts, 2 pairs of jeans I actually like, a black wool coat that's older than the marriage, my workout clothes, and a sweater my sister gave me for my birthday last year that still has the tag on it because I kept thinking it was "too much." I am 47 years old and I have, by my count, 11 pieces of clothing that are mine.

The thing nobody warned me about post-separation is that the closet purge isn't the hard part. The hard part is the next morning when you have to get dressed and you realize you don't know how to anymore, because the only person whose opinion you'd been internalizing for 18 years is the one whose opinion you just bagged up.

Anyone been here. What was your version of the next morning, and how long until it stopped feeling like you were dressing in a stranger's life