some personal pieces.
I keep wondering how do people fall out of love
I believe once you start loving someone, you can never go back
And if you succeed at going back, then it wasn't love in the first place.
You carry a piece of them everywhere.
Like the bracelet you still wear that they gifted you,
The t-shirt that you still haven't washed cause it smells like them
Like their picture that you still keep in your wallet ,
All the letters they wrote you
The strands of their hair stuck to your comb.
Like the voice notes that you keep listening to at night,
The videos of you and them doing random shenanigans that makes you teary everytime you watch them.
Why do we still keep them with us?
Do we want to hold on to the memories?
Or do we want to scar ourselves to remind us of what we have lost and will never have again.
Someone once told me - "To love is to let go".
Loving is easy but nobody taught me how to let go.
Maybe nobody knows how to
And if they do, they never loved.
Once I fall for someone, I fall for them hard.
Small things make me happy
And little changes make me afraid.
But why am I afraid?
Maybe it's the child inside of me who never felt affection even though he was told he's the most pampered one.
Maybe it's the friend inside of me who was always neglected even though he was considered the life of the party.
Or Maybe it's the lover inside of me who felt alone even though he was told he's loved.
Why am I afraid when I'm loved?
Why do I feel lonely if I'm loved?
Or is it really love?
What actually is love?
Maybe I'll know one day , chances are I won't.
But for now , I swim in the streams of melancholy and I write this.