u/Engel1844

Something that frustrates me in progressive spaces is the entitlement use of language when it comes to sexual desires and relating that to being an animal. This also exists in conservative spaces even if the inherent perspectives seem different, they really aren’t.

I see it, hear about it, read it practically everywhere. What differentiates other animals from human beings? It should be obvious and blatantly clear that the difference is massive, but for some reason when it comes to sexual behavior all common sense flies out the window.

The commonality between how both conservative and progressive people talk about these sexual tendencies waters down to excusing how violent sexuality is in its “nature” and who that applies to, men. I’ve heard it before, many others probably have too, that men specifically, being entirely different creatures that cannot fathom the concept of consent and non violent behavior when it comes to how they see sex. Progressive people think their views are different because they just accept how it is and normalize kinks (which majorly just tread the thin line between consent and rape) even though they hold up the same conservative view of the “inherent” power play when it comes to being dominant vs submissive (aka the one being degraded, usually associated with femininity).

This goes onto normalizing rape culture whether they want to accept it or not. How often do you hear about sex being something that women have to give to men because they can’t live without it unlike women who apparently cannot have the same level of sexual desire? Because I’ve heard that my whole life. The reality is this all an excuse to further degrade sex and the submissive group associated with the act. Morality, cognitive abilities, self awareness, all things that make up a human being are completely ignored to defend the disgusting viewpoint of sex and the continuation of normalizing inhumane treatment.

The common concept of masculinizing rape culture as if it’s a natural masculine tendency is widely accepted everywhere you look. It’s why being a victim of it is associated with femininity, the obvious is that men can be victims as well, just like women can be perpetrators, it’s just not as common because rape culture is highly masculinized and excused as something that’s naturally occurring and we just have to accept it. At that point you might as well believe rape is something natural and the concept of consent and the cognitive ability to see it as otherwise is inhumane.

People that aren’t interested in sex aren’t even acknowledged to exist yet they do, same with people that aren’t interested in reproducing, sometimes even naturally not being able to reproduce in the first place but that’s when unethical means to tread with obvious nature come into light, like IVF. How can I be convinced that this is a natural desire when those perspectives and naturally occurring experiences exist? It’s human greed, not nature. The world’s conviction of the desperation for sex and reproduction has been ingrained too deeply for the damage to be reversed. Seeing the obvious association with degradation and humility should be enough of a reason to not have any “natural” instinct to participate. The dehumanization of this belief to water down rape to nature is gonna result in an already existing downfall yet there’s always gonna be brainwashing to continue and accept your inherent worthless value despite your human ability to achieve more.

Are “happy couples” truly happy as long as they live in this kind of society? Is the conviction that a man’s sexual desire is uncontrollable and needs letting out whether the other person is willing to participate or not healthy? Is the conviction that women don’t have a sexual desire to begin with but have to put up with a sociality engrained humiliating role because she’s only worth her womb healthy?

This isn’t even all that different when it comes to non heterosexual relationships either, one is gonna be feminized whether they like it or not and therefore degraded, the other will have the power and their relationship will water down to their roles in the bedroom. The unacceptance of those relationships comes from the widely agreed upon humiliating relation to femininity, the sheer sexualization of it all is what causes the disdain, it’s all connected and it’ll always be connected, it’s why the most unfathomable relationships to exist are ones between two women, the most insulting role that can be assigned. No amount of “progression” will erase the damage when it’s not all that different from tradition. The desperation to sell you the idea that you as a human being have one and only use, belittling you into a senseless creature without an individual mind.

I’m beyond frustrated and mentally exhausted, it feels like all my problems somehow get back to me being a woman and therefore I have to stop taking them seriously because who am I? Less than a human being that’s for sure, and to be quite harsh, my value feels like it’s less than an insects at this point and it gets proven constantly. I don’t wanna seem like I’m wallowing in my own misery although I am, maybe it makes sense to all those who hate women and I just don’t get it.

Straight women hate women, straight men hate women, gay men hate women, gay women hate women, it seems like it’s so engrained to hate women that everybody does in one way or another, granted even if on the rare occasion I see women being loved, I can’t help but not believe it.

A topic of conversation I recently had with someone, a woman actually, casually stated that despite not being straight, all the women in her life in one way or another always hold more value to a man and it made me notice how common of a phenomenon it is. You see it in fiction as well, more times than not, a woman has to be left behind even in stories where women aren’t really meant to be present, she’s gonna be betrayed, celebrities and even people I personally know that claim they like women as well, almost never end up with women. It might seem like an over exaggeration, maybe it is because I dehumanize my womanhood so severely, I can’t stop noticing it and therefore spiraling further.

At this point I can’t get out of the conviction that being a woman inherently makes you seen as lesser than by everyone, even women themselves. All those kinds of people I mentioned in one way or another have comfortably showed their disdain for women’s bodies and behaviors associated with women, it does sting whether I like it or not, deeply. It seems like the hardest thing in the world is to love a woman, doesn’t even have to be love, just seen as a person.

I don’t even desire love at all and that’s ok, not everyone is meant to love and be loved but it does hurt to not at least be humanized even a little. Don’t even get me started on the internet, even when I try to not take it too seriously but I personally know people who have that same perspective, I’m not going into too much detail here and that’s on purpose, my own disdain towards myself is even more nauseating and elaborate.

I don’t think I’ll ever get over wishing I wasn’t born a woman, it’s hard to admit because with all my heart I wish I didn’t, I wish I was as confident about being a woman as the many women who fought tooth and nail to be acknowledged in the world, I just can’t with how much I notice all this every single day.