u/Engel1844

A big part of why I’m anti sex is the power dynamics of it all. I know this has been talked about a lot on here, however a lot of the points other people made I don’t fully agree with nor do I find myself agreeing with the responses disagreeing and not acknowledging the sexist aspect of it all. I view being in this position doesn’t come from mere disinterest in sex or having a low libido but seeing the truth, delving into the truth and not accepting being a part of that disturbing truth. The animalistic “nature” of being born a prey or a predator although it’s far from natural. One way or another you’re gonna be dehumanized and the roles aren’t equal.

Sex was introduced to me as something a woman gives up without needing to enjoy it or even accept, it just is. Coming from a relatively conservative society and then engaging with the progressive side made me realize, this core concept doesn’t change and that fundamentally made me lose hope. I used to be naive enough to think, maybe I’m not into it because of my relentless sexual assaults, then I saw that despite how common that is people are able to move past that and enjoy the engagement. I couldn’t. I thought maybe the problem is within me, that I must be so weak I can’t get over my negative experience meanwhile everybody talks about it as this divine, beautiful, natural thing that could potentially create life but more than anything, it’s enjoyable. At least, in progressive spaces it’s believed that both parties are meant to enjoy it.

I tried to get comfortable with the idea, maybe one day I’d like being in a relationship then the sexual “nature” will come to me. I’ve never been in one but I’ve tried imagining it, every time, without fail, it made me pretty much break down. It wasn’t about the assault anymore, it was seeing how deeply societally engrained degradation is in my “role” sexually is. I like to believe inherently, even though I don’t think it’s a “need” or something you cannot live without, it should be a neutral engagement, heavily reliant on consent and respect for both parties involved. That obviously just stays a “should” and extremely far from how it really is seen. This deeply engrained degradation narrative is within me too, I see a woman who’s expected to be engaging in it aka being in a relationship and I think, “how can she accept the humiliating role she’s assigned to by being in a relationship?”. It’s pretty much comparable to being stabbed, and this isn’t just me this is universal and you can easily assess it by seeing the orgasm gap and how women so often don’t enjoy it.

Then comes purity culture, two sides of the same coin as how the progressive side views it in my eyes, as a woman you lose a big part of you if you’re no longer “pure”, even if you did it the way they want you to, marriage wise, you’re a trophy that’s been purchased and god forbid you get a divorce, you’re now “used up goods”. All in all there’s barely any positivity to engaging in this. In progressive spaces, hilariously, there’s the normalization of rape, of porn, of hookup culture, all not so different from the expected female role which is, to be degraded. They think they’re so different and empowering for wanting women to be able to enjoy it too, at some point I was hopeful enough to believe it but looking inwards, they still normalize the degradation that for some reason automatically comes with being a woman involved, none of it will take away that it can easily be used against you and you can be considered a whore. This goes into non heterosexual relationships too, it’s not a coincidence there’s a huge focus on “top” and “bottom” and how much shit “bottoms” get, how people are seemingly homophobic only towards them because the “top” is, again, the one in power, the one doing the penetrating and ultimately, the one who takes.

Sexism is extremely prevalent in this topic which baffles me that so many people try to deny that by bringing up exceptions like non heterosexual relationships when, the one associated with the female role coincidently is always the most insulted. Being penetrated is pretty much akin to being stabbed societally, women with other women’s sex isn’t even conceptualized as sex, wonder why. You’re either punished and extremely insulted for it, in conservative spaces, or your degradation is normalized in the name of empowerment and ultimately, maybe not in front of your face but behind closed doors, everyone knows you’re cool with the degradation and looks down at you for it, not entirely because it’s their fault but because that’s how sex has been sold for decades. The degrader and the degraded. You never escape it no matter who you’re with, even if you’re in a non sexual relationship the label will forcibly be assigned to you one way or another, that’s the disgusting part.

I hear so many women describe a sense of impending doom after consensual engagement, a very common occurrence and I can deduce why, because they lose “it”. One more body down the drain, more of a whore in society’s eyes and the man they engage with? Well society views his sexual history relatively neutral, there’s no purity to be lost, the more experience he gets the better, yeah maybe he’s having a different experience with the overwhelmingness of sex being sold as a need for him and having to seek it otherwise he’s a failure but ultimately he’s the “conquerer” and his struggles won’t be equal and maybe in the back of his mind he thinks “she’s so easy, she thinks we’re on equal terms here meanwhile I took a part of her and gained a part of myself, slut.” That fear is insanely common for a reason. Even thinking about it makes me nauseous, I can’t imagine having experienced that before and continuing to live with that knowledge, that I let “it” own me. Like I’m not a human being but a mere object that’s been used and now the value has gone down.

Nothing about this is flattering no matter how people convince themselves it is, unless miraculously the entire world changes its views and doesn’t put such an emphasis on power dynamics this would be ok. Individually what you do doesn’t exist in a vacuum, people can and will look at you, suppose you’re the expected female role in a relationship, as something that gets penetrated and therefore used up. How can one be so aware of all this and still be deluded to accept it? I’ll never understand. It’s terrifying to ever even consider this idea because I could be capable of love, I could be capable of perhaps, miraculously, enjoying the idea of it all and be willing, but the inhumane aspect of it all slaps me back to reality where, with the world being so sex obsessed there’s no equality in the bedroom roles. Not between a man and a woman, not between two men, and especially not between two women although that’s barely even acknowledged as a possibility. A homosocial society through and through, where you’re either a human or a woman. You either give or take.

I might be a minority or even completely alone in this but from my observations, experiences, and observed misogyny where this topic isn’t really spoken about a lot or quickly gets shut down so I’m hoping for some nuance and understanding here because I need to get it out. Keep in mind when I say queerness, just like in most queer spaces, this is barely applicable to women as they’re not even acknowledged most of the time which I will also bring up. Long post apologies in advance lol. I’m honestly hesitant to even post this but I’m open for discussions, would like to get this on more subreddits but again, tight subject that I don’t think is gonna be very accepted.

Starting all the way back to MRA. A topic that makes so much of this app defensive but let’s talk about its origins and its ties to the modern day exclusion of women in the name of progressiveness. This movement started, conveniently, after the rise of feminism to backlash against it. It started with child custody, family laws seemingly favoring women and so on, basically deeming women as the privileged ones as opposed to what feminism has been putting light to and basically another way to claim male supremacy when equality felt like it was getting too close to a reality that might become true. Why I bring this up? To tie it with the modern day view of queerness.

I know so much of queerness is tied with feminism and how popular the phrase “the girls and gays” is but hear me out, modern day MRA spaces are more common among progressive people, specifically, gay men. This isn’t generalizing, this is the connection that seems to blur the line between queerness and feminism and how I think that’s not necessarily accurate or helpful. I dislike the connection between those two when I more accurately see the connection to MRA they have because modern day MRA spaces, again, are more progressive unlike their extremely patriarchal masculinity origins so there’s a comfortability there given the homosocial dynamics.

In contrast to that, feminist spaces are now seen as more misandrist and overall against men, from the typical outsiders at least so that makes me wanna bring up the non feminist side of gay men that contrary to popular belief, aren’t as rare as you’d expect. Let’s take small, popular jokes or fictional scenarios for instance, we all heard about the “dl” man, his struggles with the world unacceptable, inability to be himself fully, not aligning with stereotypical masculinity, overwhelmingness with his overestimation and the expectation for him to be oh so sexually attracted to women like it’s animalistic urge. On the other end? It’s your typical trope where he cheats on his wife or girlfriend to realize his true self. This is a running bit at this point, so common that the phrase lavender marriage has become such popular lingo nowadays, basically saying straight to the female partner “lol he’s not attracted to you dumb bitch”. Can’t forget hardcore misogynists getting called closeted! That’s a big one too and apparently hilariously common and normal. Observingly, most people have no issue with this which is interesting.

Women are always scapegoats I’ve gathered. Misogyny is everywhere for those with eyes to see am I right? At this point acknowledging absolutely everyone hates women is easier. It’s not like straight men have been any less misogynistic, they’ll fully admit they’d rather be with a feminine man, not just as a joke but originating to the hating your nagging wife trope and how much better your male friends are, oh how you wished your friend Steve was your wife instead, looks exactly like her but you’re able to see him as human because that’s what this comes down to, the inability to fathom having common interests and getting along with a woman and instead accepting the misery of being with one as that’s the usual stereotypical, caricature-esque of a woman. This is where homosociality seeps through absolutely everyone involved. Gay men can fully admit their hatred and for the most part get away with it, mocking women in their spaces (I’m not gonna specify this but I hope what I’m referring to is obvious enough), saying they’re gay before outwardly insulting behaviors associated with women (aka the nagging wife stereotype), and of course, how much they’re disgusted by female bodies and specifically vaginas which straight men aren’t usually any kinder at, just a hole to fuck after all right? But it’s more acceptable for that “hole” to belong to a woman.

Even better when it comes to fandoms, the internet, the general spaces of free speech where you can be as outspoken as you’d like no matter how odd it sounds and how comfortable it makes people feel. The observation that queer women specifically are the seen as the lowest of the low is rampant. Let’s take queer media for starters, queer women are nearly nonexistent (recently it’s gotten more prevalent though), where they’re overrepresented though, which frustratingly enough, gives the impression that they’re more “accepted” is you guessed it, porn. If it’s not porn is clearly not made for them but to seduce a certain group of people. Apparently everyone conveniently ignores how popular the lesbian porn genre is when talking about women who enjoy gay media but I won’t even into that cause that’s a hard hitting topic, although obviously the same fetishization is possible you get my point.

All this to say, which was a lot I’m aware, I want the hierarchy to be acknowledged, where the homosociality stemming from patriarchy doesn’t really exclude queer men on a large scale. One group are owed women to conquer, the other don’t need to bother so they can be just as open about their hatred, that’s putting homophobia aside which is very much correlated to misogyny hence why the feminism movement is so intertwined with queerness but that’s a whole other thing that I posted about before more in detail, that history has pretty much long been forgotten because holding onto the semblance of privilege is better than stooping down to women’s level and working towards overall equality. A man no matter who he is on the inside will be perceived as a man therefore more human, better than a woman and of course, up in the hierarchy. I don’t really believe in the so called solidarity because it hasn’t gotten women anywhere near their level whether you wanna accept it or not. I’ve been basically slapped in the face by this reality and don’t wanna stay deluded by thinking I have so much in common with people that are perceived higher than me with their identity not being as blatant as being an inferior woman. Even queer women who have more in common with them are not considered outside of porn, the belief that they can be changed back because it’s unfathomable to not be attracted to men, there’s a reason sex is so tied with being penetrated but those women can’t win, even when they do engage in it that way they’re told they should go for the real thing, what does that tell you? Men are on the long run, are perceived as men, the default human that’s capable of being different. Having lived in a relatively conservative society made me see how much more they’re accepted compared to women, especially queer women was a very depressing realization.

TW for mentions of SA and suicide ideation

It started with being consistently assaulted as a child, shamed for the curse of being born a woman, and underestimated so low that I started feeling like more worthless than an insect rather than a human being.

I’ve been raised around mostly men and boys, that feeling that I’m sure most women understand and felt, of getting along so well with boys due to having similar interests and not conceptualizing being a boy or a girl suddenly being ripped away when boys realize they’re boys and girls realize they’re girls. Immediately being outcasted, shunned, and attributed to inferiority. When it came to girl friends it seemed like most of them accepted this idea and embraced it while I never did.

A big part of my internalized misogyny lies within envying having been born a man so severely it makes me sick. Having my childhood male best friend assault me because he started viewing porn while I was never taught what sex even was, being told I’m manipulative for crying, needing to accept that my only worth is being a certain kind of beautiful to the future husband that owes my existence, shamed out of enjoying sports instead of being only interested in cooking and cleaning for fixture practice etc etc.

My spiral to this is defined majorly by shame. I’m ashamed that I don’t belong to a group that can take credit for building society instead of serving on the sidelines, ashamed that I’m not overestimated by strength and responsibility, ashamed that I’m not able to be drafted and suffer in that form, ashamed that I’m not expected to experience violence and be violent because it’s what’s expected of me, ashamed that I’m not a blue collar worker whose hard work is under appreciated compared to any female dominated fields, ashamed that protection isn’t expected of me, ashamed that I can’t align with intelligence because my kind is most known to be the most intelligent, overall ashamed of not being signed both the hardships and the privilege of being considered superior and that I cannot shut any conversation about misogyny by my gripe with said overestimation. I’m even ashamed of my anatomy, all of it is related to sexual appeal that I don’t desire, I wish for some kind of neutrality where most of my body isn’t inherently sexual compared to a man’s. I don’t just wanna be seen as a fragile open wound, literally.

My suffering isn’t acknowledged, I’ve come to accept that and be ok with it, that’s fine. What hurts is the positives which I don’t see as positives of being underestimated overshadow the negatives. I’m not asking to be a stereotypical princess of a woman that gets everything handed to her without effort, to be small and protected, or to be spoiled. I’m just tired of having to carry the shame that I wasn’t born a man with all the things listed not being tied to me. I’m willing to put myself in more dangerous situations to prove that I don’t even care for the benevolent patriarchal standards tied to being a woman. If I’m able to, I’d take their place in a heartbeat if it means I can be a human being too.

I’m constantly shamed for the expectations men have as a means to shut down any gripe I have with not loving being a woman. I unfortunately am someone that deeply cares about their strength, most physical and mental, I wanna be associated with being strong, with being intelligent, with being capable, with being responsible but that’s apparently laughable because I’m a woman. I always see examples of women being just as capable when it comes to everything bad men majorly do statistically, but never the good and it stings so much it fucks with my head.

And the words I heard in the hospital bed from people who are my family, my friends, even society at large I’d wager share the same view, “it would’ve made more sense for you to want to die if you were a man, you’ll never understand. If you were a man you wouldn’t have been this much of a coward and did it in a more successful way, because only they know what’s it like to be disposable”. Even from death I was shamed out. I don’t have any hope or sense of what I’m doing here and why I should even attempt to prove myself, my role has been already decided when I was born, not a human.

I sort of hold a “toxic masculinity” viewpoint of myself which I hate but can’t get rid of. I feel like I have to experience more violence to somewhat prove myself, if I don’t know what’s it like, I desperately seek to try to know it. I care about my strength a lot and wanna be seen for it but how’s that possible when I’m a woman? It feels like everyday I’m trying to convince the world I can be a man (human) but I’m laughed at like a toddler trying not to be childlike. Even having been in the military, having been abused, having been suicidal, none of it matters.

My title still holds up because despite it all I see examples of women moving forward, even though I have no positive examples of women in my life, not my mother or any friends so it makes me ask myself “how do they do it?” How are women able to just…move forward while being considered inferior no matter what? There has to be a smidge of hope I’m not finding and I’d do anything to get the feeling back of, not realizing I’m a girl associated with being a girl and just seeing the world filled with human beings with more similarities than differences. I still somehow hold that belief despite how much I hate being a woman because my existence must prove my inherent value isn’t just being a blow up doll.

This is an issue I’ve observed that’s been bothering me for as long as I can remember but I never had the right words to describe my frustration and why it bothers me so much, I feel very alone in this but would love some clarity on how common and almost fascinating it is.

So lately, as I’m sure most of the people here are aware, there’s a rise of misogynistic spaces (leftist spaces included) victimizing themselves with no regard of even acknowledging women. I’m talking people that 1. Don’t believe the patriarchy exists 2. Don’t think misogyny exists and 3. Despite it all they don’t even make the effort to acknowledge women.

What I mean by exceptions in my title is those spaces (which I’d like to preface aren’t just present online by a “loud minority”, they’re in everyday life) is for example, men that don’t fit into patriarchal standards perfectly being insecure and seemingly envious of women for being “given grace” due to the popular belief that they’re inferior therefore have less expectations, responsibilities and accountability to excuse themselves.

Let’s take short men in those spaces as an example, on average we all know that men are taller and bigger in general right? Yet you’ll hear so much complaining about how underrepresented and undervalued they are despite being a somewhat uncommon exception to not fitting into the image of a big and strong man. You often hear about how unfair the expectation of them fitting into that stereotype is which to me, shows that they are or at least could comprehend exceptions, nuance and most importantly, equality. They acknowledge their overestimated expectations by not fitting in.

Now compare that to how they view women. When it comes to anything, absolutely anything whether it’s sports, intelligence, work ethic generally, responsibility and overall admiring things men are associated with, there’s no space for exceptions or nuance. Nearly every single time, the said people that are supposed to understand what it’s like to not be stereotypically perfect, the default, the strong, the big, the intelligent, one way or another they’ll use those standards against women.

You’ll hear things like, women’s sports are inferior and there’s no conviction otherwise (despite the biological differences not meant to undervalue because it’s female specific, not men vs women or women vs men), men “built” the world despite women being either excluded or erased for their efforts,** **conscription, again, with women being excluded not by their own choice, the lack of women in blue collar jobs and so many more examples, especially strength which is the most admirable “masculine” quality.

It’s like their version of a woman is a blow up doll with no thoughts, no individuality, no brain, no bodily function outside sexual activity, anything but a human being. They dislike the “protecter and provider” trope but the subservient inferior woman? That’s fine and beneficial. When you don’t fit in as a woman its nonsensical and a desperate attempt at wanting to be a man (a human), like seeing a toddler wearing a suit and claiming they’re independent, absolutely hilarious concept.

The pattern I’m seeing in all this is, “I can acknowledge when I’m the victim but when it comes to claiming superiority? I’m taking my chance”. I can’t be the only one who sees how hypocritical this is am I? They’ll jump in at the smallest opportunity to call women weak, stupid, only worth their womb and sexual satisfaction, overall inferior to men in every way but when they’re not the “typical man”, they’re victims. There’s no space for an exceptional woman no matter what.

It really just leads me to the belief that it’s hopeless we’re truly gonna move forward, benevolent patriarchy will always overpower the negatives of the patriarchy to them to shut women down. While as women, I suppose we’re meant to accept we’re an inferior species not meant for anything significant in life besides being on the side characters in their stories that can only provide insignificant parts to fulfill (that of course, they’ll tell you they can easily do anyway). Nothing about their view of women tells you they’re human beings too. Equality for me but not for thee, makes you curious why.

Probably the most confusing and frustrating part I had to deal with growing up was that there was absolutely no form of forgiveness to be given. First off everytime I cried I got called a manipulative piece of shit and was punished for it, never once was comforted, and since that was one of the instances where I had to apologize.. nothing could be done.

I still get ridiculed and shamed till this day for the times I cried as a child, probably the worst thing I could be called right now is weak since I’ve been called that so often everytime I showed emotion but now the script reversed, because I’m not very affectionate, pretty natural considering the mental and physical abuse, I get called an asshole for it.

Nothing makes up for it, I still fear making a single mistake even now that I’m an adult because in my mind no one can accept apologies. Everytime I apologized I got told I was guilt tripping them, ok, I don’t apologize? I’m an asshole, I try to explain my perspective? I get called a gaslighter.

To say it damaged me is an understatement, I feel like I can’t even fucking apologize to people or explain things without all those names ringing in my head. It makes me feel insane, it really does.

My parents love to hold grudges and nothing can be done to help that, they’ve made that clear with how much they hated me apologizing. Meanwhile I don’t hold a single grudge against them because, I really don’t give a shit anymore nor do I pity myself, if anything my brain is always like “you deserve everything bad that’s happened to you and you’re going to deserve everything bad that’s going to happen to you”.

To put into perspective how deep this gets, one time when I was, give or take 10 years old I mistakenly threw away a plastic reusable lid that my mom always kept and used to cover foods. Well she pretty much got all her anger out on me physically and verbally, I apologized again and again, told her I didn’t mean it and how much I regretted it, she, without exaggeration, didn’t speak to me directly for two months after that until she suddenly decided I deserve her talking to me again.

This happens all the time, I can’t imagine doing this to someone I’ll literally go insane. I’m very communicative and always want to know exactly what went wrong, try to fix it and move on but fuck, MONTHS? This is such a common phenomenon in my family everybody’s used to it at this point but now that I’m older I’ve realized literally nobody does this or finds it normal.

It damaged me a lot, even though I’m far from an emotional person (lol probably has to do with getting punished for crying) nor do I like to dwell on things but fuck, that fucked me up bad. I don’t wish that confusion and shame upon anybody, literally being ignored for months on end, of course, after receiving a good old fashioned beating and your apologies doing absolutely NOTHING.

I’m fucking terrified of every single mistake I make, I hate not being basically perfect at everything, I always believe everyone at every point thinks I’m the devil in disguise no matter how apologetic, kind, and helpful I am. It fucking sucks beyond words could convey. It’s probably what made me develop an addiction I can’t even imagine recovering from because I literally can’t live without some form of self punishment. Wonder if anybody dealt with something similar? Would love to hear it.

Potentially long rant; trigger warnings for mentions of suicide, suicide attempts and sexual assault

I struggle to feel validated, not that I seek it, but I do constantly hear the notion of “women have it so easy and don’t know it” maybe I just happen to be the mere exception but all of it is…off. The first reaction to my attempt, from my family was how nonsensical it was for me to want to die when I’ve never experienced being a man, that if I wanted to truly die, I would’ve done it like a man and did it with a gun, otherwise I’m a coward. They’re very much impossible to even get but I digress, I felt very ashamed. Without going into detail I’m still dealing with the physical consequences, that sort of made me continue out of sheer shame on top of having to keep up with responsibilities, both financial and personal at least for the time being.

I don’t pity myself over it or feel like I was owed sympathy of any kind, I just ask myself, where’s the coddling I always hear about? Because I was pretty much laughed at, even when it came to things expected to happen to women like being raped and nearly killed, I didn’t get any grace for it. The men in my life especially always laugh at the notion of “strong independent woman” and how I must be so lucky to be so coddled while they suffer in silence, I can understand where they’re coming from I guess. It’s just they’re the same people who mock my existence for not being a man.

I guess where I’m going with all this is…I hate being a woman and everyday I grow to hate it more and more and more. I thought you know, since I’m so dehumanized in real life I’d just seek out online feminism spaces and reality basically slapped me across the face to let me know, not even then will there be any grace. Feminism is so demonized I’m not even gonna get too into it because this already feels like enough whining but it honestly stings quite a bit. Even encountering seemingly non bigoted people doesn’t help, I can feel that I’m looked at as someone desperate to be seen as a person and how I’ll never just be that. My experience is just seen as a fear mongering, unfair generalizations that I’m assumed to have because I dislike what I was born as and wish I was well, not a woman. How hating harassment and being sexualized is my problem.

I don’t have much more to say besides it’s pretty much hopeless I suppose. I have to accept I’ll never really feel humanized no matter where I go because I’m a woman first. I distinctly remember growing up, not really understanding the concept of being a girl, having all kinds of different interests that I didn’t feel the need to associate with being a girl, having male friends that just saw me as someone just like them, someone that likes the same things they do and how we’re so much more similar than different. It wasn’t until a childhood friend of mine assaulted me which first made me realize our physical differences and second, how my existence is degrading, then it continued to happen continuously to bring in money though completely unwillingly and underaged. I started to feel powerlessness and humiliation that hasn’t left since, it was met with a shrug of the shoulder and nothing was done about it, if anything it was expected and accepted. I’m barely even interested in what I used to like, my career path, my hobbies, the sports I like, even fictional characters specifically heroes, I don’t wanna identify with being the girl version of that, it made me realize I’m not the default and my past desperate attempts at trying to prove that I’m not defined by being “the other”, I’m never gonna be looked at any other way.

Nowadays I’m just…existing, never considered a relationship because I’m already disgusted with my existence and knowing there’s no way I’d be equal in it, otherwise maybe I’d crave it. I don’t believe I have to specify where my mentality has gone but I’m just dealing with the responsibilities I have for the time being and having people that rely on me otherwise I’m not out of it with the very tough acceptance that nothing can be done about feeling like a walking fragile stab wound that’s never gonna heal as long as it’s being perceived as easy to infect, describes how I feel about what I have down there too which I struggle to even look at without feeling like breaking down. A little corny but it’s one, perceptually meaningless root of problems. I suppose I’ll keep being envious for the time being with no expectations of any regards besides well, ranting on here. That’s all.

At this point I’m convinced it’s not just me and this view is on the rise, anecdotal but I’d wager 80% of the people I meet have extremely misogynistic and dehumanizing views it’s baffling.

I work with them and have to sit through their demeaning comments on a daily basis, I never really get used to it cause I just stay silent but gosh does it boil my blood.

Most recent daily topic for them lately has been how hilarious the concept of “independence”. Today one of them said, “I get women wanting to be independent and all, kinda funny but they must be stupid for going out alone knowing they’re the majority targeted for violence” I wanted to punch him in the face but oh well. You know what’s ironic? Statistically men are more likely to get attacked alone, especially at night. These people don’t even consider rape a thing so that’s out of the question to even consider.

My biggest frustration is, it’s always just one of two sides when it comes to this conversation, recently I had a man tell me rape statistics can’t be trusted and women are probably not the majority, so it’s either completely denying the existence of women being targeted/misogyny in general OR just needing to accept how things are, accept being raped, accept being targeted, accept being lesser than and accept being inferior.

Is there no third option?? There’s no, I don’t know, fucking accountability? I constantly, CONSTANTLY hear it’s not all men and fine, it’s not all men, I’ll fully be with you then in that case, don’t victim blame people.

I wish I could scream to their faces that misogyny and patriarchal standards overall, negatively impact them too. They wanna pick and choose when they can accept equality but if they don’t feel at least a smidge superior at least one thing? No more equality? Equal rights equal fights? Lol, I got hit by enough men without equality that’s not a gotcha. If women are just as capable of doing bad but don’t, it shouldn’t be that hard to believe that they can do just as good when it comes to the positives. It can’t be this hard to accept they’re the same species, can’t it?