u/EngineeringTotal3464

I’ve been praying the Liturgy of the Hours for about a year now. I came into full communion with the Catholic Church shortly before that and was drawn to an FSSP Parrish that offered the extraordinary form of mass.

As time has gone on, I predominantly go to reverent Novus Ordo liturgies, but I feel called often to go back to the TLM. It’s a much further drive and makes it more difficult for me to be a present member of the Parrish, but something still draws me.

Have yall found any more fruitfulness from praying the 1962 office over the liturgy of the hours? What are some ways in which one or the other is better? I’ve found as a layman who works full time, the liturgy of the hours is much more accessible in terms of praying the full office everyday.

So I have an iPhone 13 Pro and finally thinking about upgrading when the iPhone 18 pro or the new foldable iPhone is released (I’ve always been intrigued by the foldable phones, but never trusted it would last me that long).

I’m pretty active and also use my phone a lot for work (I work in Government IT sales), and figured getting an Apple Watch would be useful for health tracking purposes as well as for work. I was going to go with the Ultra 3 right now as I don’t have an Apple Watch, but I’ve read that the Ultra 4 is supposed to be coming out.
What would your advice be, to upgrade my phone until next year for the second generation of the foldable phone or the 19, or go with an 18 when it comes out? Should I get an Apple Watch Ultra 3 now or wait for the ultra 4?

So I have an iPhone 13 Pro and finally thinking about upgrading when the iPhone 18 pro or the new foldable iPhone is released (I’ve always been intrigued by the foldable phones, but never trusted it would last me that long).

I’m pretty active and also use my phone a lot for work (I work in Government IT sales), and figured getting an Apple Watch would be useful for health tracking purposes as well as for work. I was going to go with the Ultra 3 right now as I don’t have an Apple Watch, but I’ve read that the Ultra 4 is supposed to be coming out.
What would your advice be, to upgrade my phone until next year for the second generation of the foldable phone or the 19, or go with an 18 when it comes out? Should I get an Apple Watch Ultra 3 now or wait for the ultra 4?

This is going to be a very long story, my apologies in advance.

So my fiancée when my fiancée and I started dating, she was very upfront and clear about her views on cheating, and p**n being in that list. I was very clear on my previous struggles with it (I wasn’t raised in a religious household and came into the Catholic Church around the time we started dating, thanks be to God!) I consumed it for around 10 years daily, and finally realized I didn’t want it in my life and quit. She made me promise that I would never do it again. She also made me promise that I would never be tempted by it again, which I promised. In hindsight, it was very naive of me to make a promise like that, given my struggles and shortcomings

I fell to it once, shortly before our wedding, after about a year and a half of quitting. I could go into this list of some issues we were having, I had some serious health issues going on that required surgery, and I was very stressed, but at the end of the day I fell short and I messed up. Pretty much as as soon as it happened, I came to her and told her. Because I knew it was boundary, I messed up, and I wanted to be honest. We ended up cancelled the wedding (to work on some things of course).

It started making me reflect on our relationship. She asked me if I was unhappy, and I pointed out some things I thought were controlling and manipulative. Such as “if you don’t do this for me, then you don’t love me.” She explained to me her reasoning behind it, and I’ve told her I don’t think you’re doing it on purpose, but it’s still a manipulative tool, but in her eyes it’s not manipulative because she has explained her reasoning.

Fast forward to couples counseling, I have felt entirely crazy this entire time. We went through a few sessions, and our counselor picked up on her having a background in psychology and going to school for counseling, and said that he’s noticing some abandonment issues with her, that she’s got to fix on her own that don’t stem from me, and that she’s trying to be counselor to me and herself, and that is not healthy. He said he thought that pausing couples therapy and both of us seeking individual therapy would be the best course of action. He also acknowledged my feelings of being controlled and manipulated. Of course, I’m not innocent, I have things I need to change, and that will be a lifelong journey in some aspects I imagine. But since seeing that counselor, my fiancée has said he’s wrong and she needs betrayal trauma therapy. While I see that, and I’m sure that’s a need, she refuses to believe that there’s anything else within her that needs to change. She thinks our therapist is wrong, that we don’t need to pause couples therapy to do individual therapy, because that’s giving up on the relationship. I told her, that’s not either of us giving up, if anything I see it as a very mature thing to do. Maybe both of us are bringing in baggage from outside that we really should work through first. That doesn’t make us less worthy of love, or us abandoning each other, it would actually help us to love each other even more.

On top of that, she struggled with drinking, and one particular time she got extremely inebriated and acted demon possessed, and ever since that happened I’ve been truly questioning things with us. I’m honest and open about that, and it turns into “wow, so I’m choosing to work through things after you cheated on me but you’re not willing to accept my flaws.” Which feels completely manipulative to me, but maybe I’m wrong. I don’t know.

Anyways, I would really appreciate your thoughts on this as well as your prayers. Godbless!

So long story short, my fiancée (31F) and I (27M) have postponed our wedding to an indefinite date. We are both very devout Catholics (weekly Mass, frequent confession, as well as personal prayers and scripture study).

When my fiancée and I first got together, I converted to the Catholic faith. I was open about my past in terms of my struggles with porn use and that I had given it up. She told me she could never be with a man who could even have an inclination or temptation toward lust. When I told her that I would never even be tempted, I meant it. Although in hindsight, it was very immature and naive of me to make a promise like that.

Getting closer to the wedding, I had some medical issues, as well as some career issues, and was very stressed and watched porn for the first time in over a year. Immediately when that happened, I told my partner what I had done.

Basically for a week, she was out of commission. Extremely upset that I betrayed her (rightfully so). And for the first couple of days, I took the heat; you’ve destroyed everything, if you truly loved me you wouldn’t have done this, and comments like this that reinforced our wedding being cancelled was my fault. I’ve talk to multiple priests (with and without her), have put things into place (app blockers) and am seeking couples counseling and trying to find a personal counselor for myself.

After this has come up, I’ve mentioned to her that I think this manifested because I was unhappy in our relationship. I’m not using that as en excuse for my actions, that is on me and I own up to it. But taking a look back throughout our relationship, I often did things out of guilt, because if I didn’t touch her enough, hold her hand enough, or go out of my way to do things like that, then I was met with, well if you loved me you would/wouldn’t do this or that. I’ve mentioned to her I think that is completely manipulative.

She’s also trying to put another tentative date to our wedding, because she’s now willing to accept my faults. When I try to take a step back and be like hey, let’s just work through this before we start talking about setting a date for the wedding. But she responds if you don’t want to set a date, then you have doubts. I tell her of course I have doubts right now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to work things out, and I’ve met with, “how could you think about leaving me when you’re the one who cheated?”

I’ve also realized, if we have a disagreement, especially in regards to intimacy, it’s very hard to be able to agree to disagree. I think not agreeing on everything is completely normal and something we will have to get used to in marriage. I remember one time, we had a disagreement on how much sex we should be having everyday once we’re married, and because my number wasnt as high as hers, that made me view sex as less sacred than her. When we have disagreements, it goes on and on until I eventually cave and say I will agree with you. Agree to disagree is not an option.

I’m trying to be wise in our decision making, but it’s like I don’t even have time to take a step back, breathe, and think things over long and hard. Marriage is not something I think we should rush into, and if we are having problems, I think we should take our time and sort it out. But that line of thought to her means I am not willing to accept her faults and I now have stipulations for marriage.

I’m really struggling, because I do love her, and I realize that love is not just a feeling, but an on-going choice. But I feel completely manipulated and controlled. Just something in my gut telling me I’m not happy and something’s not right. And the constant pressure to have all of the answers right now is so overwhelming to me. I’m not trying to excuse my actions, watching porn in a committed relationship is adultery of the heart and disgusting thing to do. That is on me. But am I crazy for thinking she’s been manipulative and controlling?

tl;dr am I wrong for feeling controlled and manipulated?

Praise be to Christ!

So I want to start this post off by saying I’m at a point in my faith where I feel like I’m too Traditional for Novus Ordo, and too Novus Ordo for TLM communities.

I’m blessed to have an FSSP Parrish near me and frequent the TLM there, and absolutely love the beauty and reverence of the TLM. I don’t think I could see myself participating in community life there, but also don’t see myself being a part of the Novus Ordo communities around. Whenever I talk with Novus Ordo priests, and I mentioned going to the FSSP Parrish and loving the extraordinary form of mass and ad orientam worship, they seem taken back by it.

It seems like all of the Novus Ordo parishes are like so against implementing traditional worship practices like ad orientem, Gregorian chant, etc. and I don’t understand why we can’t have a very reverent, Novus Ordo mass with the priest celebrating ad orientem and implementing chant. It seems like the Bishops basically won’t let priests implement these things. I converted last year, so I’m not super knowledgable, but it seems like US parishes kind of sway from reverent worship. Do a lot of Catholics around the world pretty much see the same thing? No kneeling during the consecration, no communion on the tongue and kneeling, no chant, no ad orientem worship?

Peace be with you!

So I’ve been growing with fascinations towards various religious orders within the Catholic faith and wanted to ask for a brief rundown on the various religious orders (Benedictines, Jesuits, Augustinians, Carmelites, Cistercians, Franciscans, Dominicans, I believe that’s all of the major ones).

I also wanted to ask if laypeople can become members of these various religious orders if they so choose. I’ve read about becoming an oblate for a religious orders, but I’m pretty ignorant on that topic. Normal Parrish life is great, but I often find myself pondering trying to live more in accord to a religious order quite a bit. I do intend on getting married, so obviously taking solemn vows is not something I want to do, but kind of just want to learn which religious order might be for me and if laypeople can somehow be part of those communities while still living a regular life and working.

Thank you, and Godbless you all!