u/Entire_Weather3209

I honestly feel like crying. I’ve been trying to have a normal life again. I’ve been doing new hobbies I really love (they’re at home hobbies which is important for me because I struggle to be around people who can see me), I love dancing and started at a new dance studio which was really positive for me because everybody there is so sweet (and I didn’t join for ED reasons I just love it), I was trying to stay out of ED spaces.

I haven’t been purging at all, but I was still heavily restricting. It wasn’t like a conscious decision fully, I did know I was but I still felt normal again outside of it. I thought that meant I could just have a normal life since I was fully not purging anymore. But I’ve been in the hospital since yesterday and they’re holding me another day again, it sounds stupid but I thought I could just coexist with it and be safe since I wasn’t purging. But no. I mean there’s nothing like super serious wrong with me I’ll be fine, I just have low potassium and magnesium and they’re monitoring me. I just feel stupid. I thought I could just have an ED but it not really impact me anymore. I’m also so confused why my potassium and magnesium are low because I swear I’m not purging and I started taking a magnesium supplement that’s pretty high in it weeks ago (a doctor told me too). I don’t know. I’m just sad. I thought I was normal again. Guess not.

So I’m in the US, so I want to be clear on that part. I know different countries often have better medical systems. But seriously, it is so expensive to have an ED in the US. Today I just got one of my bills and it was $450,000 and I’m fortunate to have a really low out of pocket max insurance plan so I won’t pay anywhere near that at all (I’ll be able to pay it in full but it will still put strain on me financially). I feel so bad for people who don’t have insurance and even for those who do who straight up just can’t afford it even with insurance. Again I’m going to be okay after my bill because my insurance lowers my actual cost to be nowhere near the bill I got at all, but still it’s sad. And while I CAN pay it and I WILL, it does still put me in a really bad spot financially

I don’t know. I know everybody talks about the health system being terrible but seeing that bill really messed with my head. It made me upset not only for myself but for others too because at least in my case I can afford it. I always stay on top of having insurance but I know not everybody is in that position

Edit: I tried to correct my run-on sentences sorry 😭