u/Expert-Assistant-31

My boyfriend (29M) and I (28F) in a relationship for 2 month had a really emotional shift happen within less than 24 hours and I’m trying to understand it from a male perspective.

Yesterday he was very reassuring, affectionate, talking about future plans with me, and telling me how highly he thought of me. He has also previously admitted that relationships make him anxious and that he tends to shut down or pull away when things get emotionally serious.

Today I finally admitted that I’d been feeling disconnected from him lately and needed more emotional support/reassurance from him. I wasn’t yelling or threatening him, I just wanted vulnerability and communication from my partner.

Within hours he completely flipped, said hurtful things, blocked me on social media, and pulled away completely.

From a guy’s perspective, does this sound more like:

someone who was emotionally overwhelmed/panicking
or
someone who had already mentally checked out and finally snapped?

I think what’s confusing me most is how someone can go from talking positively about your future together to total shutdown basically overnight.

For people who are avoidant or who have dated avoidant partners, how do you tell the difference between someone genuinely losing feelings vs someone panicking and emotionally shutting down when intimacy/pressure becomes real?

I’m struggling because the emotional switch from “future planning and reassurance” to “blocking me everywhere overnight” was so extreme that I genuinely don’t know how to process it or what a healthy response from me looks like moving forward.

My boyfriend told me yesterday I’d make a great wife and mother, talked about weddings/future plans with me, reassured me nonstop, and literally cried saying he pushes people away because relationships make him anxious even when he loves the person.
Today I finally admitted I needed him to emotionally show up for me more because lately I’ve felt him pulling away and shutting down emotionally. I wasn’t screaming or threatening him, I just needed reassurance/support.
Within HOURS he flipped completely:
“I don’t like you anymore”
“We’re done”
“i’ve never liked you”
blocked me on EVERYTHING including TikTok
Yesterday i was so amazing and today he says he never liked me.
I genuinely feel like I got emotionally whiplashed and I cannot tell if this is avoidant attachment panic or if men actually can lose feelings overnight.

For people who are avoidant or who have dated avoidant partners, how do you tell the difference between someone genuinely losing feelings vs someone panicking and emotionally shutting down when intimacy/pressure becomes real?

I’m struggling because the emotional switch from “future planning and reassurance” to “blocking me everywhere overnight” was so extreme that I genuinely don’t know how to process it or what a healthy response from me looks like moving forward.

For people who are avoidant or who have dated avoidant partners, how do you tell the difference between someone genuinely losing feelings vs someone panicking and emotionally shutting down when intimacy/pressure becomes real?

I’m struggling because the emotional switch from “future planning and reassurance” to “blocking me everywhere overnight” was so extreme that I genuinely don’t know how to process it or what a healthy response from me looks like moving forward.