u/FaithlessnessPlus164

Hi folks, I’m just trying to help a loved one who’s really struggling with bipolar disorder.

I’m trying to help them look into the possibility of moving from full time work to part-time with disability benefit to (hopefully) help absorb some of the lost earnings as they are struggling to work full time since getting older and their mental health is noticably deteriorating over the last few years.

Even though they’ve worked full time for over 30 years (15 years since diagnosis) their psychiatrist feels reducing their work hours is important to stabilise their condition more effectively.

They earn a bit over minimum wage so just absorbing a whole day or two of lost wages a week with a mortgage to pay and house to keep isn’t feesible.

Is there any good group on Facebook or anywhere else where people discuss this stuff? Reading the citizens advice/gov website doesn’t give much real life context. It’s very hard to know how it goes when the person is in full time work and can’t drop everything to go on the dole for 6 months before applying.

Would really appreciate any leads at all! Thank you

Has anyone else experienced this? I’m a full time professional artist and this is extremely concerning for me on so many levels.

I haven’t had that burning, all consuming obsession that I used to wake up with every single morning for over a year now. I don’t know who I even am when I’m not aching with creative energy bursting out of my pores. I’m genuinely scared for my career, I feel like my collectors will sense that I’m just going through the motions. Promoting my work at the moment feels like pulling my nails out.

Have any other artists been through this transition and come out the other side? How did it go for you?

I couldn’t live like this for the next 40 years… creativity is the only identity I know. I don’t know how to make myself fulfilled any other way. Plus I still have 20 tears left on my mortgage to pay.

Perimenopause has capsized my adhd so badly, I’m on HRT, antidepressants and vyvanse but that only helps with energy, they haven’t given me back my spark. I’m very flat and uninspired.

My adhd used to feel like my secret superpower but now seemingly overnight it’s turned into a crippling disability and whisked my identity away with it.

I miss me

Holy crap, I know I’m late to the party here but I am stunned at how abusive Manon is to her family, her sister and her aunt both saying they are frightened of her temper… that’s not fucking ok?

It’s clear her parents are frightened of her too and she’s causing them a tonne of anxiety by sowing unnecessary drama within the family. It’s all so so sad!

I have a sister who is very similar to Manon and it’s the parents and grandkids who suffer the most. Eventually she’ll push everyone too far with time and they’ll all end up alienated from her and her child. I feel so sad for her family and Anthony’s too.

I can’t quite figure out why he is so breezy about being married to such an out of control bully, is he a snake in the grass or is he just beaten down and isolated by years of emotional abuse too?

I’m considering training a wisteria ‘prolific’ along the front wall of our south facing farmhouse.

We have an old pebbledash finish and I’m wondering if anyone has any thoughts on whether this is a good idea or would it be too risky in terms of structural damage in the long term?

If I were to do it I’d be training it up a welded steel arch (planting it about a metre and a half away from the exterior wall) initially and then training it along a wire trellis.

I know this would look incredible if done right I’m just a little anxious about compromising the finish on the house and creating potential problems down the line as I’ve read wisteria likes to force its way into things.

I’m usually up to my elbows in tomatoes by July but this year very few trusses have set. Mine are in a polytunnel, how are everyone else’s doing?

I’m seriously considering saving up for a pedigree wedge head and I’m curious whether these magical cats live up to their reputation in reality.

I have a mutt who’s dad was a Siamese and he’s the most intelligent, demanding and playful cat I’ve ever had by a mile. He’s very unique! I love cats that require a tonne of work and attention as I work from home alone every day so I’m very tempted to get another that’s a purebred.

🙋‍♂️Bonobo

After reading mixed reviews I took a chance and ordered some unusual climbers from this admittedly very beautiful website.

The plants arrived on Friday and the condition and size of them is shocking for full priced plants. They are TINY, terribly pruned, sick and some cases have one foot in the grave already. Lots of bone dry dead stems and disintegrating leaves so they were clearly in a bad way before they left France. I wouldn’t mind if they were heavily discounted but they were in the region of €18 to €20 a plant.

I’ve written to customer support, hopefully I’ll get reimbursed but just a heads up to not be fooled by all the gorgeous photos on the website. Stick with your local centre where you can hand pick your plants.

Can anyone else relate? I hate that I’m in my 40s and still struggling with stuff like this. I should be much more bad ass by now but RSD and a lifetime of bullying and feeling like a weirdo (thanks to undiagnosed adhd) just cripple me.

I have to walk away from a toxic work situation, I know my two options are: bow out on my own terms with my self-respect intact or allow myself to have the piss taken out of me a bit longer before being ultimately dropped by the client for not meeting their absurdly unrealistic demands.

This is a no brainer so why is it so hard?? I just want to write an email and be done with it, but for some reason it frightens the crap out of me. I wish I had more confidence and self belief at this stage in my life.

Following on from the post about pensions that has now given me a stomach ache just in time for bed, how many of us have always worked ‘normal’ low wage jobs, the sort most of our parents would’ve had back in the day?

Myself and my partner are both 40s and best suited to working low stress ‘blue collar’ jobs and always have done. We’re just not career types and just prefer to work honest albeit unimpressive jobs that don’t come with any mental load at the end of the day.

Judging by some of the posts around here it seems we’re very poorly off compared to a lot of modern Irish people but I wonder if it’s more common than you’d think even here on Reddit. Surely not everyone is in the civil service or tech industry? How many of us are working in factories, farms, shops etc into middle age? And if so, how are you doing?

For us we’re mid 40s, child free, bought an old farmhouse ten years ago we’ve been slowly doing up and share an old car (honestly no need for two) and we have a rake of pets. Only about 35k in the pension. Earn under €15 an hour. 5 min commute. Not into holidays or travelling anymore, prefer to spend time with friends, in the garden and with the animals instead.

Are we an outlier in modern Irish life or are there lots more of us?

I (42 and in perimenopause since 39) am fairly new to vyvanse but so far have found it very good. Today however I took my usual 40mg dose and within an hour or two started feeling very off.

For any fellow ravers I’ve feel like I’m having a mild comedown from ecstasy. Emotionally very low (that you’ve burned through two weeks supply of seretonin in one night feeling), detached, weepy, anxious and compulsive yawning. I know vyvanse often doesn’t work as well in this cycle stage but are these sorts of side effects also a common experience?

I’m in my early 40s and already having a tough time. I’m on HRT and was recently diagnosed as severely ADHD (which explains why peri has hit me like a tonne of bricks) and am on thankfully now on stimulants which are helping quite a bit.

I’m just wondering will I ever find my way back to my old self? Should I just hunker down for the next few years and wait it out or do I need to work on accepting that this might be the new version of me and my life from now on?

I’d love to hear from women who’ve made it through to the other side because it all feels a bit scary and overwhelming right now.

Woke up this morning with a tick on my back, reckon I probably got it from one of my pets in bed during the night or digging out in the garden yesterday.

I have the little fucker bagged to put in the freezer. HSE advice seems to be to wait things out and see if symptoms develop before asking for antibiotics but much as I don’t like to take antibiotics it makes me a bit nervous to just wait and see.

I’m in the south west. What would you do? How are gps handling this these days?

EDIT: thanks everyone, rang south doc there and they advised a single dose antibiotic prophylactic to be taken today so going to get that this afternoon.

And if so do you consider it due to your adhd? I’m in my 40s only diagnosed a few months ago and now getting treatment for the first time in my life.

I’m really happy to be getting help at last but part of me is sad that I never understood why I always believed I just wasn’t cut out for a ‘proper’ job and now as I get older the reality of my financial situation is starting to bear down on me a little.

My partner is also auadhd (untreated due to complications of another illness) and like myself has never worked anything other than low responsibility/manual/ low wage jobs so between us we haven’t really done a great job at adulting this far.

No pensions, can’t afford to save etc. I feel like we’re the only people i know who don’t have careers at this stage in life, we just have jobs that we scrape by on but are otherwise happy with our lot. I just can’t help but worry for the future especially as my partner is almost a decade older than me and we’re childfree.

I absolutely think our difficulties with careers and finances is largely due to our (undiagnosed/untreated) neurodivergence during our 20/30s personally. Curious to hear if anyone else is in the same boat and what role you feel your adhd played in it?