u/False_Candle_9779

I’ve tried and relapsed multiple times in the last 2 years. To give you history, I’ve been smoking weed for almost 5 years now. I’m 24F. With the last few years being heavy. My health deteriorated a lot and my parents made me quit several times. But I kept going back to it and breaking their trust. Now I have finally decided to quit on my own cause I hate who I’ve become. I’ve lost all weight, my personality, my health, my looks, my interests, so many friendships, career prospects. Now I desperately hate it and can’t imagine the thought of hurting my mother anymore. I don’t wanna live in the shadows hiding my life from everyone. I want to live a life I’m proud of. But here’s to trying, for my mother.
The only thing on my mind is I feel like it’s too late to start afresh and also that I feel like I’ve lost so much time that I might not be able to get back to normal. My only worry is that I’ve been in this disgusting habit for so long that I don’t even know how to feel normal again. Like if I wake up one day and feel like I’ve recovered will the world still accept me despite all the lost time. I’ve totally lost myself in these last few years and don’t know that if I recover the world will take me well. I don’t know if I’ll be able to bounce back in society without just being a former addict.
Pls give me strength. Any comments on this are welcome

I’ve tried and relapsed multiple times in the last 2 years. To give you history, I’ve been smoking for almost 5 years now. I’m 24F. With the last few years being heavy. My health deteriorated a lot and my parents made me quit several times. But I kept going back to it and breaking their trust. Now I have finally decided to quit on my own cause I hate who I’ve become. I’ve lost all weight, my personality, my health, my looks, my interests, so many friendships, career prospects. Now I desperately hate it and can’t imagine the thought of hurting my mother anymore. I don’t wanna live in the shadows hiding my life from everyone. I want to live a life I’m proud of. But here’s to trying, for my mother.
The only thing on my mind is I feel like it’s too late to start afresh and also that I feel like I’ve lost so much time that I might not be able to get back to normal. My only worry is that I’ve been in this disgusting habit for so long that I don’t even know how to feel normal again. Like if I wake up one day and feel like I’ve recovered will the world still accept me despite all the lost time. I’ve totally lost myself in these last few years and don’t know that if I recover the world will take me well. I don’t know if I’ll be able to bounce back in society without just being a former addict.
Pls give me strength. Any comments on this are welcome

I’ve tried and relapsed multiple times in the last 2 years. To give you history, I’ve been smoking for almost 5 years now. I’m 24F. With the last few years being heavy. My health deteriorated a lot and my parents made me quit several times. But I kept going back to it and breaking their trust. Now I have finally decided to quit on my own cause I hate who I’ve become. I’ve lost weight, my personality, my health, my looks, my interests, so many friendships, career prospects. Now I desperately hate it and can’t imagine the thought of hurting my mother anymore. I don’t wanna live in the shadows hosing my life from everyone. I want to live a life I want to be proud of. The only thing in my mind is I feel like it’s too late to start afresh and also that I feel like I’ve lost so much time that I might not be able to get back to normal. But here’s to trying, for my mother. I’ve been in this disgusting habit for so long that I don’t even know how to feel normal again.
Pls give me strength and I know it will be finally over after this horrid phase. Do text me if anyone wants to be my sober buddy

I’ve tried and relapsed multiple times in the last 2 years. To give you history, I’ve been smoking for almost 5 years now. I’m 24F. With the last few years being heavy. My health deteriorated a lot and my parents made me quit several times. But I kept going back to it and breaking their trust. Now I have finally decided to quit on my own cause I hate who I’ve become. I’ve lost weight, my personality, my health, my looks, my interests, so many friendships, career prospects. Now I desperately hate it and can’t imagine the thought of hurting my mother anymore. I don’t wanna live in the shadows hosing my life from everyone. I want to live a life I want to be proud of. The only thing in my mind is I feel like it’s too late to start afresh and also that I feel like I’ve lost so much time that I might not be able to get back to normal. But here’s to trying, for my mother. I’ve been in this disgusting habit for so long that I don’t even know how to feel normal again.
Pls give me strength and I know it will be finally over after this horrid phase. Do text me if anyone wants to be my sober buddy.