u/False_Candle_9779

I really want to quit it now. I miss reality. And, the prospect of growth. It’s taken me away from the person I used to be and no wonder I have insecurities and under confidence now. I’m living in imposter syndrome because of the things this doing to me and it took me so long to admit it. Maybe because it was not always like this. Now it’s not even fun. It’s not even making me happy or laugh out loud. It’s just compulsion I use to feel like I’m doing something, or to delude myself into thinking “now I feel normal”. It’s adding nothing to my life and taking away everything. I think this time I’m done. I can no longer see a future where I can continue doing this and be the person I want to be or have imagined myself being. It’s ruining my dating life, my social life and my relations with my family. I HATE it. But I’ve been doing it for so long that it’s the normalcy I have. I thinking just thinking for myself and maturing. That’s the way to go

I’ve betrayed my parents trust so many times by lying about using weed that I don’t know if it will ever be ok with them now. Over the course of 3 years I’ve been lying to their face about using and have relapsed 3 times and lied to them about using like over 5-6 times. Obviously they’re at an all time low and can’t fathom how to work this out. I’m 25 and have quit now. But don’t know how to prove it to them having lied so much that it feels disingenuous now. I don’t know if our relationship will ever recover even though they love me.

I’ve betrayed my parents trust so many times by lying about using weed that I don’t know if it will ever be ok with them now. Over the course of 3 years I’ve been lying to their face about using and have relapsed 3 times and lied to them about using like over 5-6 times. Obviously they’re at an all time low and can’t fathom how to work this out. I’m 25 and have quit now. But don’t know how to prove it to them having lied so much that it feels disingenuous now. I don’t know if our relationship will ever recover even though they love me.

I’ve betrayed my parents trust so many times by lying about using weed that I don’t know if it will ever be ok with them now. Over the course of 3 years I’ve been lying to their face about using and have relapsed 3 times and lied to them about using like over 5-6 times. Obviously they’re at an all time low and can’t fathom how to work this out. I’m 25 and have quit now. But don’t know how to prove it to them having lied so much that it feels disingenuous now. I don’t know if our relationship will ever recover even though they love me.

I’ve tried and relapsed multiple times in the last 2 years. To give you history, I’ve been smoking weed for almost 5 years now. I’m 24F. With the last few years being heavy. My health deteriorated a lot and my parents made me quit several times. But I kept going back to it and breaking their trust. Now I have finally decided to quit on my own cause I hate who I’ve become. I’ve lost all weight, my personality, my health, my looks, my interests, so many friendships, career prospects. Now I desperately hate it and can’t imagine the thought of hurting my mother anymore. I don’t wanna live in the shadows hiding my life from everyone. I want to live a life I’m proud of. But here’s to trying, for my mother.
The only thing on my mind is I feel like it’s too late to start afresh and also that I feel like I’ve lost so much time that I might not be able to get back to normal. My only worry is that I’ve been in this disgusting habit for so long that I don’t even know how to feel normal again. Like if I wake up one day and feel like I’ve recovered will the world still accept me despite all the lost time. I’ve totally lost myself in these last few years and don’t know that if I recover the world will take me well. I don’t know if I’ll be able to bounce back in society without just being a former addict.
Pls give me strength. Any comments on this are welcome

I’ve tried and relapsed multiple times in the last 2 years. To give you history, I’ve been smoking for almost 5 years now. I’m 24F. With the last few years being heavy. My health deteriorated a lot and my parents made me quit several times. But I kept going back to it and breaking their trust. Now I have finally decided to quit on my own cause I hate who I’ve become. I’ve lost all weight, my personality, my health, my looks, my interests, so many friendships, career prospects. Now I desperately hate it and can’t imagine the thought of hurting my mother anymore. I don’t wanna live in the shadows hiding my life from everyone. I want to live a life I’m proud of. But here’s to trying, for my mother.
The only thing on my mind is I feel like it’s too late to start afresh and also that I feel like I’ve lost so much time that I might not be able to get back to normal. My only worry is that I’ve been in this disgusting habit for so long that I don’t even know how to feel normal again. Like if I wake up one day and feel like I’ve recovered will the world still accept me despite all the lost time. I’ve totally lost myself in these last few years and don’t know that if I recover the world will take me well. I don’t know if I’ll be able to bounce back in society without just being a former addict.
Pls give me strength. Any comments on this are welcome

I’ve tried and relapsed multiple times in the last 2 years. To give you history, I’ve been smoking for almost 5 years now. I’m 24F. With the last few years being heavy. My health deteriorated a lot and my parents made me quit several times. But I kept going back to it and breaking their trust. Now I have finally decided to quit on my own cause I hate who I’ve become. I’ve lost weight, my personality, my health, my looks, my interests, so many friendships, career prospects. Now I desperately hate it and can’t imagine the thought of hurting my mother anymore. I don’t wanna live in the shadows hosing my life from everyone. I want to live a life I want to be proud of. The only thing in my mind is I feel like it’s too late to start afresh and also that I feel like I’ve lost so much time that I might not be able to get back to normal. But here’s to trying, for my mother. I’ve been in this disgusting habit for so long that I don’t even know how to feel normal again.
Pls give me strength and I know it will be finally over after this horrid phase. Do text me if anyone wants to be my sober buddy

I’ve tried and relapsed multiple times in the last 2 years. To give you history, I’ve been smoking for almost 5 years now. I’m 24F. With the last few years being heavy. My health deteriorated a lot and my parents made me quit several times. But I kept going back to it and breaking their trust. Now I have finally decided to quit on my own cause I hate who I’ve become. I’ve lost weight, my personality, my health, my looks, my interests, so many friendships, career prospects. Now I desperately hate it and can’t imagine the thought of hurting my mother anymore. I don’t wanna live in the shadows hosing my life from everyone. I want to live a life I want to be proud of. The only thing in my mind is I feel like it’s too late to start afresh and also that I feel like I’ve lost so much time that I might not be able to get back to normal. But here’s to trying, for my mother. I’ve been in this disgusting habit for so long that I don’t even know how to feel normal again.
Pls give me strength and I know it will be finally over after this horrid phase. Do text me if anyone wants to be my sober buddy.