Quería desahogarme un poco, tengo adicción desde hace unos 9 años, hace un año me metieron a un anexo por mi consumo de drogas y alcohol, salí hace 3 meses y me sentía completamente vacía pues con las sustancias llenaba ese vacío tan grande que llevo dentro, toda esa oscuridad y ahora que no las tenía no sabía que hacer, me sentía tan desesperada todas las noches y romantizaba todo el tiempo mi vida anterior, como que soy una inmadura y me niego al cambio aunque es lo que mas trabajamos en terapia, tengo una dependencia a todo, lo que incluye también parejas, conocí a un chico maravilloso cuando salí de rehabilitacion y yo como lo idealice mil, me comenzó a mandar a la verga al la verga y esa sensación de nuevo se apoderó de mi, mi miedo al abandono fue tan grande que al no soportarlo lo use de pretexto y cuando menos pensé ya estaba en la puerta de dealer comprando una dosis en la madrugada, llevo dos semanas drogándome como si nunca la hubiera dejado, el sentimiento de culpa apodera todo mi ser, digo este va a ser el último fume pero me doy otro y otro y no puedo parar aunque tengo todo el deseo de hacerlo, me preguntó si todo este año fue en vano, todos estaban tan orgullosos de mi, si mi famia se llegará a enterar les rompería el corazón han puesto tanto esfuerzo, esperanza y dinero en mi recuperación para que yo allá hechado todo a perder con un pretexto tan tonto, solo estoy hecha bolita llorando en mi cama deseando que esto pare, no se siente bien, estoy comenzando a ser de nuevo está persona mentirosa y sin voluntad que tanto odio, si sigo así me voy a morir y creo que eso le dolerá más a mi familia, tomé la decisión de confesarlo a mi psiquiatra y mi psicólogo porque yo sola enserio no podré, necesito ayuda de nuevo antes de arruinar todo lo que construí de lo contrario será demasiado tarde para mí...

I'm packed with:

- a week of clothes (laundry facilities available inaide and I've packed detergent)

- phone, charger, earbuds

- books

- unopened travel size toiletries

- shower shoes

- fresh notebook

- phone numbers and emergency contacts just in case

Work is aware I'm taking leave and I've notified that i will be providing updated fmla paperwork.

My dog is chilling with family.

Bills i could afford to pay are paid and I've communicated to family about the possibility of disconnected utilities or eviction while I'm gone.

I think I've covered just about everything, but I'd really appreciate any notes or tips. I'm just figuring this shit out as i go and dont know what the fuck I'm doing.

I live in Northern VT, and I’m looking for resources urgently.
I’m only 25, and have no kids of my own. My older sister reached out to me the other day, letting me know she’s struggling with a drug problem. I’m trying my best to get her into a rehab program, as quickly as I can. It seems like most have a pretty long waitlist.

My older sister also has my nephew, who is 3yrs old right now. I sometimes take him on the weekends for about 3 days, but that’s the most I’ll have him at a time without his mother. She’s worried about getting him taken if she voluntarily goes to rehab, so she wants me to take him. Obviously I love my nephew and will avoid CPS taking him at any cost. However I currently don’t have a car, and I’m in quite a bit of debt. Would that affect anything? I’m nervous they’d take him because of that. From my understanding since they aren’t already involved we wouldn’t have to notify him? Since I am his aunt.

I’m mainly looking for childcare resources. Something like a free/discounted daycare he could go to while I’m at work. I’m not sure if I’d qualify since I’m not his mother, but I’m trying to make this as easy as possible. Also any advice/resources anyone who’s dealt with this might have, I’ve never been through this before and I’m honestly freaking out. I reached out to a few of my friends and they said they’d help where they can, but most have their own jobs/kids.

TIA for any helpful suggestions/kind words. I’m really stressing out over this.

Oh before I forget in case someone ask where our parents are in all this. Our mother passed from cancer back in 21-22, and our dad is in GA right now helping take care of our other nephew who has cancer. So I’m her best option right now.

After a decade of drinking and doing blow to the point of not being able to pay bills or even take care of myself, I'm finally going to residential treatment this week. Any tips? How do I make the most of it? I'm 37 and have a great job, but i feel like this is my last shot to straighten things out.

in october of this year I had a serve psychosis episode induced by synthetic weed and I still struggle to tell what happened versus what is in my head and every day I am so scared that my life is all an illusion and I am still dying on the floor

I experienced what felt like a month in my own hell and anytime I try to do anything my family still rubs it into my face like some kind of trump card and call me selfish and how they are the ones who suffered I cannot even smell cart smoke without shaking and having a panic attack

Hello so I’m currently addicted to 7OH it’s a real problem and i can’t do it anymore I need help and I can’t do it by myself my buddy just got out of rehab yesterday and convinced me to go as well, well the problem is I am on probation for a DUI back in February. I need help and need to go to rehab but I don’t know how to tell my PO officer without getting a violation and probably ending up in jail. I was thinking about telling her “I just need some extra support as I’ve been heavily thinking about drinking the past few days.” I don’t know if that will work I’m scared and sad and I just want to get sober but not sure what to do with my probation :( please someone have some advice for me I’m so scared :( should I get admitted and then call? Or call before?

Hi everybody. I’m a 27 year old male and I live in Nevada. I’m trying to get health insurance, because I am wanting to go to outpatient/inpatient rehab to stop an addiction I’ve had for a long time. I am, to my knowledge, completely uninsured. I have never shopped for insurance before or anything. I had Kaiser through my employer a few years ago but no longer work there. I put my information into affordablehealthplans.com, and immediately was carpet bombed with hundreds of calls and texts talking about insurance quotes. It feels very scammy.

I’m just looking to find a health insurance plan, I don’t really care how much it costs because I can’t afford the out of pocket cost of an inpatient/outpatient rehab.

Where should I go? The website that I went to initially is a total scam, right? How soon might I be able to be covered if everything goes right?

Any and all help is greatly appreciated, thank you all in advance. ❤️

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping to get some insight from anyone who has attended The Gentle Path at The Meadows, specifically the 45–60 day residential sex addiction program. I'd really appreciate hearing about your experience, whether positive or negative.

For some background, I'm very familiar with Patrick Carnes' work, have been seeing a CSAT for the past three years, and have a solid understanding of the recovery space and the complexities of sex addiction, especially when it's combined with CPTSD and substance use.

My employer will cover the entire cost of treatment at The Meadows, including flights, which I know is an incredible opportunity given the program's reputation. Historically, it has been considered the gold standard for treating sex addiction.

That said, I've been pretty shocked by the number of negative reviews I've come across over the past few years. Some of the stories are deeply concerning, including allegations of serious neglect. It seems that what was once an industry leader may have shifted toward a more corporate model, with declining quality of care and less genuine compassion for patients.

One thing that has also given me pause is that it seems like what is marketed online doesn't necessarily match what is actually being delivered, or in other words unclear. When I spoke with admissions, I asked whether clients are guaranteed a minimum number of one-on-one sessions with their primary therapist. I was told there is no guaranteed number, and that the majority of therapy is group which I know is pretty standard. I also asked whether I would be allowed to pay privately to continue meeting with my current CSAT while in treatment, and I was told that wasn't permitted either, which i can understand. But I would at least expect a general ball park of one on one sessions, even if its EMDR or related included.. Those answers surprised me and left me wondering how much individualized therapy patients actually receive.

I understand that people are generally more likely to leave negative reviews than positive ones, especially when paying over $60,000 out of pocket. Expectations are understandably high, and online reviews don't always tell the full story as some have serious conditions, are not committed, or partners expecting a magic pill. However, what concerns me more is that I've also heard similar feedback from people in the fellowship were CSATs—including one who previously worked at The Meadows—no longer recommend it.

The reality is that I'm currently in crisis and need a higher level of care. My options are limited, and since this program is fully covered, there aren't many alternatives available to me. Unfortunately, there aren't any other sex addiction–specific residential programs covered under my insurance, so this is a unique opportunity.

Part of me feels that even if the program isn't what it once was, it's probably still better than where I am right now. My biggest fear is that if the quality of care is truly as poor as some people describe, the experience could end up being more traumatic than therapeutic and ultimately hurt my long-term recovery or damage my trust in the mental health profession.

For context, I'm a 30-year-old single male struggling with severe sex addiction, stimulant abuse, high-risk sexual behaviors, and CPTSD. I am not being forced into treatment, this is my own choice for no other reason then wanting to be healthy, for myself and for my family. I previously attended a two-week sex addiction and trauma intensive, and it was the longest period of sobriety I've had and one of the most meaningful experiences of my life.

If you've attended Gentle Path in the last few years, I'd really appreciate hearing about your experience. I'm especially interested in what the day-to-day treatment was like, the quality of the therapists, whether you felt safe and supported, how much individualized therapy you actually received, and whether you believe the program helped your recovery.

Thank you in advance for taking the time to share your experience.

this is a silly reddit post so that i can maybe gain hope, and maybe anyone has gone through the same experience. (please no shame, i have enough)

i smoked weed for about a year and a half, and quit around 3-4 months ago and rarely smoke now, and my lung capacity is quite reduced to how it used to be. i used to be able to belt and sing for a long period of time, but i just get winded easily now. i got roped/addicted into it by people i knew as they claimed it wasn't addictive and would only damage my lungs if i did it for years. for a year i felt nothing, and then suddenly my lungs sort of gave out on me, and it became much harder to breathe deep breaths, and sing for several bars at a time without taking a bunch of pauses for air. i mainly do musical theatre, and something i found out i really want to pursue about 9 months into smoking. i know my actions were very stupid, and i'm really trying to heal my lungs for not just singing, but for my health in general. is there any good chance i'll get close to how it used to be, or will it be difficult forever?

i feel horrible about my past actions and wish i could take back it all as it wasn't worth it, and i just hope that i can sing how i used to soon or ever, hopefully in the next 2 years.

I been coming on this group page a lot lately…I got off Valium after 11 years. Prescribe and no addiction, I tapered off because I was scared to be on this for life and hit tolerance. I am also on trazadone and Seroquel.

Unfortunately, I am traumatize by my withdrawal and my symptoms and it makes me wanna go back on. I lost my ex fiance because of this but I was strong and moved on, I have no been able to int he past 2 years get a stable job due to my symptoms. I am struggling with body dysmorphia now since after starting my taper I got sick with constipation from Benzo withdrawal and now I am going on 10 months with no appetite. I also want to make it clear that I am negative for all GI testing .

I have wasted so much money on supplements to help with all this stuff and nothing.

I am so close every night to take a Benzo but I am scared to kindle myself. I have gabapentin prescribed but I haven’t taken it because idk what it can help with ..

My mood is all over the place. I feel destroyed. Please I need help.

There’s so much more to my story but it’s too much to type.

...and I've been internally freaking out for the last 4 hours. I want to push it to tomorrow morning. I guess I just need some reassurance about this experience, regardless of whether I admit later tonight or tomorrow morning.

I have been taking kratom for the last 10 months. About 3 months ago, I did a 10 day detox and then relapsed in 2 days. I started suboxone (I had previously used suboxone for a year and a half from my first time with Kratom, hated the withdrawals coming off it), but then my grandmother passed away in the first two days and I decided to just use the kratom to get through the funeral as the depression had not been treated and I was a mess. The kratom helped me cope and feel "normal". I had to be present for all my extended family, who are very judgmental, during the funeral and other events. That lasted up until now. The kratom I had been using was a concentrated amount that was comprised of 0.08% of 7OH. If you don't know what 7OH is, its a natural component of kratom, kinda like THC, CBD, and all the various cannabinoids in marijuana. The timeline is a bit fuzzy cause I wasn't involved when it happened, but to my understanding there was a bunch of products that had heavily concentrated 7OH, which was getting dangerous to a small group who were heavily using it in high doses. Well, about 3-4 weeks ago there was another ban in Florida. It banned ALL products that had 7OH listed in their ingredients. This pulled what I had been taking for the last 10 months off the shelf.

Kratom withdrawals are horrible. I HAVE to go. I took my last dose about 7 hours ago, and withdrawals don't start for at least 24 hours. Worst case, I wake up and go to be admitted tomorrow morning feeling a little bit of anxiety that is not withdrawal related.

I'm doing this primarily for my family. I've known for a long time that I've needed to do this. I had some trauma from a previous relationship two years ago. I haven't addressed this trauma, and until I started my lexipro 3 months ago, I was feeling very very depressed, and this was the way I found the desire to live. The therapist aspect of this program is a huge resource I'm hoping to utilize as much as possible. I haven't had a regular therapist since the aforementioned relationship when my couples therapist turned into my personal therapist.

Anyways, I just needed to get that all out. I don't think I'm trying to get anyone to convince me to go tonight vs. tomorrow morning. I think I just want reassurance that this is the right thing, its going to be great and everything will be O.K. I'm still lightly freaking out.