Having children without a support system?
I need blunt input. To set the scene, mid 20s female who is thinking about children. It wouldn’t be for another 4-5 years.
I don’t have any reliable maternal or paternal figures left in my life. No grandparents, no aunts/uncles, and one elderly father. I have INCREDIBLE friends, but we are all highly successful young adults working full time, and they will be starting their own families one day. Long story short, friends who get together once a week for fun and leisure. Very different from a retired mother who can drop everything for their grandchild this upcoming weekend.
My partner is incredible and would make an incredible father. But he is a father and will not understand what it means to be a mother without a mother. He has a mother left, similar to my lack of family, and that is all. I don’t know if we’ll live in the same area, what her retirement plans are, or how readily involved she’d be with a grandchild. I’m putting her in the box of “couple times a year.”
So where does that leave us? I know people move to new cities and form their families not knowing anyone in the area. What was it like to truly do it all without a grandparent or aunt that watches the baby in the afternoon or on the weekends so you can feel sane for once? What is it like to be a mother without close maternal connections?