u/Far_Weather6381

For some context, I’ve never liked my name since I was a kid. It is very hard to pronounce for most of everyone I meet. I am very sure and set on changing my name, but wanted to know if any people from older generations had any advice on navigating strained parent-child relationships.

My parents reacted very strongly, and said very hurtful things like “I feel like I’m losing my daughter”. My mom especially has been through unspeakable things in her life, but has not gone to therapy a day in her life. She is not good at communication and is often passive aggressive and avoidant of heavy topics. I knew and understood that they would be upset, and completely validate that, I want advice on how to make this big change easier for them/how to communicate with them better on this.

My mom and I have always had communication issues and do not see eye to eye often, could some sort of relationship talk therapy be a good idea? I don’t want to lose her in my life, but I fear that the only way I can keep her in my life right now is by distancing myself from her.

Some context:

My name is very unique and is constantly mispronounced. I’ve always disliked my name since I was a child. I’m in my early 20s now.

My name is also rare, but is predominantly used by black families. Like cultural names that were created and used to reject the European naming norms. I am very very white, so that also contributes to the disconnect I feel to my name.

My parents I think were just trying to be creative. When I told them I’m changing my name they reacted extremely bad and guilt tripped me like my life depended on it, and also told me that they felt like they were losing their daughter. They are very traditional and religius, and are the kind of parents that think you owe them everything for the bare minimum, as if you are an extension of them and not your own person.

I guess I’m just looking for some validation, because that conversation left me feeling utterly exhausted, but I still want to change name.

EDIT: if I didn’t get to your comment, thank you so much to everyone for your sweet and validating comments. You all made my day so much better ♥️

I’ve been trying to find this song for the longest time!! Any help is greatly appreciated 😭🙏

The only lyrics I know are something like this: “said it felt like a storm a’comin, you gotta help me yeah, you gotta hold me now, took all my strength not to eat you alive, cause I’m evil enough, for the both of us, call me the lion, broken up, broken up”

Not all of it is correct I think.