u/Fast_Brick9679

I’m looking for advice. We suspect our 5-year old (just turned 5 in July) has ADHD because 1. My husband has it. 2. She checks the boxes on a lot of ADHD symptoms.

Of course we cannot get her tested yet because there is a giant wait list for 5-year olds and it is very hard to diagnose at a young age. This has all been discussed with her pediatricians. What tipped us off that she might have ADHD is that we have been having pottying issues since she has been potty-trained…still having “accidents” going into kindergarten this fall.

But that is not why I’m writing this post. My husband and I are both struggling on getting her to listen or do simple tasks without a tantrum. Somedays - she will do things we ask no problem. Other times, it is a giant barrier and we do not know what to do.

For example.; This morning we asked our daughter to put her plate in the sink after her breakfast - she simply refused. She went over to the couch, said “no” and the reason was she was “too tired.” This was a whole ordeal. We calmly explained how quick it would be to put the plate in the sink and it is something we do every day. Our child then began crying and throwing a tantrum.

It was just a constant back and forth. It felt like such a large battle for something so small. We recognize in ADHD there is the task mirroring (or whatever it’s called) where a task can be hard to start.

I am beside myself and do not know what to do in these situations and neither does my husband. We’ve tried talking calmly/explaining, demonstrating, and also consequences.

I ended up carrying her over to the table. I picked up the plate and then I carried her over to the sink so we did it together- however she fought me the whole time.

I don’t know if it was the right thing to do but we cannot keep doing this push and pull for things like this. It feels like a power struggle. She is a great kid and not a brat…but has these types of moments that make us question our parenting. I have a lot to learn and so does my husband and we obviously can’t make any plans until she gets an official diagnosis.

Any advice is appreciated. I’m very new to this and have a lot to learn.

I just want to squish my little bug (2 year old) all day. He is just so freaking cute I literally cannot handle it. He is my second born and our last kid so I think in some way I’m almost grieving because I’m never going to have a little 2-year old again (I’m overall happy we’re done with kids)…but I literally just want to squish his little chunky thighs and kiss his little fat cheeks and make him giggle all day.

Does anyone else have this urge?! I absolutely love this age! They are so silly and so freaking cute (and yes…feral too 🤣)

Our two year old son is a sour patch kid. He’s is the cutest little Johnny Knoxville I’ve ever seen but man he plays hard and loves hard. He loves his 5-year old sister too but LOVES to pull chunks out of her hair, hit, and bite her. Sometimes and most times it comes out of nowhere when they are playing together nicely. (I’m blaming it on testosterone)

We correct it of course, remove him from the situation, give attention to our daughter and tell him it is “not nice” “use gentle hands” etc etc. sometimes we raise our voice because we can’t help it when he’s beating up his sister 🥴.

Our daughter is honestly an angel with it. She doesn’t really react. She will scream for us to come help and sometimes she has hit back…but can you blame her when he pulls out chunks?

Also we never had this issue with our daughter. Never. So we’re not too sure what to do or how to stop it. Is it just a phase? He left a mark biting her back today (again it came out of nowhere).

I will mention that sometimes our daughter will “play rough” with him and we warn her what he’ll do it you give him the chance - so when it’s that type of situation we let her find out for herself so she learns. Of course all of their play is supervised since our son is still young.

Any advice appreciated though - the hair pulling and biting has got to stop.

My child is graduating preschool this month. For the last year, they’ve been best buds with a classmate, and we’ve become friendly with the parents. We’ve had several playdates and they seemed like nice people, but over the last two months, I’ve seen a side of one parent that makes me want to pull back significantly.

The Red Flags
Overstepping Boundaries: During a school event, this parent directly confronted a 5-year-old classmate who was acting out, rather than speaking to the child’s parents. It was aggressive, inappropriate, and very uncomfortable to witness.

Lack of Social Awareness: At a recent kindergarten info session, they dominated the meeting with an aggressive amount of questions. It was so bad that I could hear other parents around the room whispering for them to stop talking.

The "Cling" Factor: The biggest red flag is that this parent recently switched their child to our specific elementary school district just so their kid and my kid could stay together.

The Dilemma:
I’m now very concerned that this person is going to be the "problem parent" of the grade—overbearing, abrasive toward other parents, and potentially "helicoptering" any kids who don't get along with theirs.

My partner believes that if the kids aren't in the same class, the relationship will naturally fade. However, I’m worried this parent is going to lobby the school to keep our kids together. We plan on being "busy" all summer to create distance, but we are looking at six years of elementary school together.

My questions for the group:

1. How do I maintain a polite "acquaintance" distance without being pulled back into a close friendship?
2. Should I proactively ask the school not to place our children in the same class, or will that make me the "drama" parent?
3. Has anyone dealt with a parent who "latched on" like this? How did it play out?

My child is graduating preschool this month. For the last year, they’ve been best buds with a classmate, and we’ve become friendly with the parents. We’ve had several playdates and they seemed like nice people, but over the last two months, I’ve seen a side of one parent that makes me want to pull back significantly.

The Red Flags
Overstepping Boundaries: During a school event, this parent directly confronted a 5-year-old classmate who was acting out, rather than speaking to the child’s parents. It was aggressive, inappropriate, and very uncomfortable to witness.

Lack of Social Awareness: At a recent kindergarten info session, they dominated the meeting with an aggressive amount of questions. It was so bad that I could hear other parents around the room whispering for them to stop talking.

The "Cling" Factor: The biggest red flag is that this parent recently switched their child to our specific elementary school district just so the kids could stay together.

The Dilemma:
I’m now very concerned that this person is going to be the "problem parent" of the grade—overbearing, abrasive toward other parents, and potentially "helicoptering" any kids who don't get along with theirs.

My partner believes that if the kids aren't in the same class, the relationship will naturally fade. However, I’m worried this parent is going to lobby the school to keep our kids together. We plan on being "busy" all summer to create distance, but we are looking at six years of elementary school together.

My questions for the group:

1. How do I maintain a polite "acquaintance" distance without being pulled back into a close friendship?
2. Should I proactively ask the school not to place our children in the same class, or will that make me the "drama" parent?
3. Has anyone dealt with a parent who "latched on" like this? How did it play out?

Our son is HORRIBLE at sleeping throughout the night. If he wakes up he will be WIDE awake FOR HOURS. It is worse than the newborn phase. Of course will have days where he sleeps throughout but lately (and we will go through periods) where HE WILL NOT SLEEP. We adjust naps. We try to recognize teething. We don’t think he’s hungry - he’s a human garbage can. We absolutely do not know what to do.

My husband is the one who has to put him down because he will flail out of my arms and is strong and will also pull my hair out. This is our second child. Our first one was not like this.

For example. It’s currently 3AM. He’s been up since 1 AM. He also wakes up SCREAMING his head off sometimes or just crying. My husband will rock him, get him calm, put in crib, and then he’s SCREAMING crying again. We’ve done some CIO but he will just not soothe himself. Will bring him into bed with us and sometimes that works but then he just wants to play.

We are desperate and my husband is at wits end because he’s the only one that can put him down at night (I of course try but he wiggles out of my arms and wants to run around or will pull my hair)

Any suggestions PLEASE (other than adjusting naps and teething).