u/FatFaceFaster

This is for fun so don’t take it too seriously but, I would love to hear your ideas…. How would you spend $50 on your shop if you only had $50 to spend? Just looking for something you would consider the best way to spend $50 in your shop.

I’m a “high level” hobbyist. Been doing it a very long time. But I’m still not wealthy, but I’m also not poor… but woodworking shit is expensive. So, I have to save up for the big stuff, and I have to use consumables sparingly like titebond and sanding disks. I do have to provide for a family and pay a mortgage and other bills before spending on myself in the shop, so I tend to be conservative when spending on my shop.

But I just got given $50 in visa gift cards from a guy I did a favour for (I let him drive his tractor through my yard to access the area he was working on and he did a bit of damage).

It’s completely guilt free money and my wife says I can spend it on whatever I want. So, I just wanna get something for my shop.

Putting it towards a larger item like a new bandsaw is boring, since I need about $1800 so $50 is just a drop in the pond.

I’m asking you, Reddit woodworkers, if you had $50 and only $50 to spend on your shop, what would you buy?

If you haven’t seen it yet, I’d give it a 7/10. It’s not fantastic but it’s got some good laughs. It feels like the tennis version of Happy Gilmore 2.

It actually kinda feels a lot like The Hawk, which is funny cause it has a similar plotline and has a few of the same actors in it (Fortune Feimster and Chris Parnell among others) with a similar plot; washed up former star has to become a hero after his prime.

Regardless it a fun movie.

Don’t expect any hard hitting political or social commentary. It’s just a silly fun movie.

But best of all; Jake Johnson basically just plays Nick Miller with a racket in his hand.

More importantly Mary Steenburgen is the costar and I’ve been in love with her since 1990 when I first watched the incredible CBC movie “One Magic Christmas” and she became my old lady crush. And she still is.

Anyway if you like Nick Miller the bartender you’ll like Dustin Boyd the tennis pro. Watch it.

My wife is an incredible mother. Like…. Will go down in parenting history books as one of those moms who just does anything for her family.

However… she is not fun. She does not give off fun vibes ever. She doesn’t joke along with them. She isn’t playful, doesn’t throw them around, never gets in the pool with them, never kicks a ball around, never reads 10,000 knock knock jokes to them.

I do all those things.

Don’t mistake that as meaning I am never the heavy… I am often the bad cop or the disciplinarian. Sometimes Moreso than her.

But she just loses her patience with them so quickly and switches from sweet mom to “brush your teeth now” mom.

And as a result when I am alone with the kids they are friggin angels for me. I “solo parent” 2 full days a week while she is at work. She solo parents an evening or two if I stay late for work (which is what happened tonight). Other than that for the most part we are both home together with the kids, or they’re at school/summer camp.

whenever I get home and my wife has been alone with the kids for a couple hours I always feel like my wife is at her wit’s end and the kids always seem to be at their worst.

Meanwhile I can have them for 8-9hourd and they never fight, we never have to argue over eating their lunch or picking up toys. They just seem to respond so much better to me and as a result our days together are fun (albeit still exhausting) and the kids end the day in a great mood.

Tonight for example, the kids just dragged ass to bed because they’ve been fighting with my wife all night.

I want to be clear; she is never abusive. Not in the least. She just seems to reach the point where she has an impatient and demanding tone with them MUCH faster than I do and then once she’s at that point the fun is sucked out of the room. And without me to bring it back, it stays that way for the rest of the time they’re together.

For example my son came out of the bathroom after washing his hands and flicked the water off his fingers towards my wife. Instead of saying “hey you got me wet let me use your shirt to dry me off” and then wrestling him and using his pajamas to “dry off” which is the way I might have reacted…. She says “[Name]! That’s rude! I don’t want to get wet!” And he hangs his head and says “sorry”.

I turned to her and quietly said “hunny [name] was just trying to have fun you don’t have to react like that all the time” and she said “FatFace they have been at it all day and I’m sick of it”….

They’ve been together for just over 60 minutes. I was with them all day and my wife just took over while I did some work for about an hour. There is no way they have been “at it” for long enough for her to completely lose her cool.

I know my wife is a good, generous, wonderful mom whose heart absolutely beats for her children. She just doesn’t seem to know how to let them have fun and to just go along with it sometimes even when they’re being annoying and silly.

Advice?

Will delete later just want to get some initial thoughts cause I’m flustered at the moment.

We just got through 2 massive heat waves and we’re currently in a 3 week drought with like 40% humidity and full sun all day; but yes let’s have the fucking drone come in and film hole by hole next week!

Not May or June when everything is beautiful and green. Let’s go for smack in the middle of the heat or summer. On a Monday at 7am to boot. So no time to mow anything to freshen it up after the weekend.

Ffs. They did this with the last marketing videos they shot too. They’re still the ones I have to look at everytime I open the website. All I can see is the purple tire marks on our 8th fwy from where carts drove through a hot spot.

Maybe this is the type of thing you wanna ask the super about? “Hey we’d like to film some hole by hole stuff for the website what’s the best time of year to do that?”

I pled my case with them by email just now. Asked them to at the very least wait until we got a decent rain and reschedule him. We’ll see what they say but knowing them they’ll say “I think it looks fine I think we’ll go ahead with it” (they are not golfers and their office is in a nice shaded area where the grass usually stays nice and green so they don’t have a good vibe for the reality of the rest of the course)

Sorry I’m frustrated just had to vent.

Of course I don’t think the courses suck, or the golfers suck.

I think the status and scheduling of it sucks balls, and has since the introduction of the FedEx Cup and playoffs.

It’s an open with multiple avenues of qualification. Because it’s an open, it can’t have a limited field, so it can’t be a signature no-cut event or a playoff event where only the top PGA players get in.

Then there’s the scheduling.

For several years it was played the week after The Open Championship. Yeah, that’s what everyone wants to do… finish a major, then jump on a cross-Atlantic flight with a five-hour jet lag to go play in Canada.

So they moved it. Now it’s the week before the U.S. Open. Not much better. Most top pros don’t want to play a competitive tournament in Canada the week before the U.S. Open. They want to be on-site preparing.

For anyone who knows golf history, the Canadian Open was part of golf’s “Triple Crown”: The Open, the U.S. Open, and the Canadian Open, the three oldest national championships. Before the Masters and PGA Championship existed, winning the triple crown was a major feat for professional golfers. (Edit: the 4 “majors” back then included 2 amateur tournaments; the US and British amateurs, which pros were not eligible for. So the triple crown was a highly saught after accomplishment with Jack Nicklaus going so far as to call the Canadian open the 5th major….. but settle down people who hate Canada for some reason, I am not suggesting it was ever an official major. Just that it should be treated as more important than, say, the Farmer’s).

Before anyone says it, other national opens get the shaft too, the Scottish, Irish, Australian, etc. They’re historic events as well. But it’s easy enough to understand the logistical challenges of overseas tournaments on an American-based tour. The site of this week’s Canadian Open is a two-hour drive from Oak Hill and a four-hour drive from Oakland Hills. It’s not exactly difficult to fit into the schedule if it has the right slot.

In every top-ten list of Tiger’s greatest shots, you’ll inevitably see his 218-yard bunker shot at Glen Abbey.

Past champions include Lee Trevino, Jim Furyk, Vijay Singh, Nick Price, Greg Norman, Arnold Palmer, Byron Nelson, Bobby Locke, Sam Snead (three times), Walter Hagen, and of course Rory McIlroy, who has won it twice. But he skipped it this year.

Look, of course I’m biased. I’m Canadian. But it’s beyond national pride. I think national opens are more meaningful than corporate events. My two favourite tournaments of the year are the U.S. Open and The Open. National championships simply matter more than the Valspar or the Rocket Mortgage. (Of course there is a special place in the heart of a golf fan for Jack’s Place, Arnie’s Place, and The Players.)

I don’t think it’s surprising that a Canadian golf fan places more value on our national open than on the Farmers or the Cognizant, yet both enjoy larger purses and signature status over the national open of one of golf’s biggest supporting nations.

Canada has more golfers per capita than even the U.S. We have some of the most beautiful courses in the world. And yes, the “Ontario Open” chirp is well deserved. The Canadian Open absolutely needs to expand beyond its GTA-heavy rotation.

We’ve struggled to keep major sponsors because the event has been given the shaft so many times. Give it a premier slot and we’ll find a premier sponsor, or RBC will probably just increase the cheque.

Nick Taylor reignited the country with a 72-footer a few years ago, but the passion was always there. We’ve given the game Mike Weir, Moe Norman, Brooke Henderson, and plenty of others.

We don’t take full credit for Stephen Ames. South Africa, you’re welcome to claim him.

But the fact remains: we love golf, and our national open deserves a better place on the schedule and elevated, not diminished, status within the calendar.

Sorry this turned into an open letter to no one. Appreciate you sticking this out.

Thank you for your consideration;

Sincerely,

Fatimious Face Faster III, Esq.

Every course is different whether they expect grounds crew to turn their machines off, idle down, drive to a different hole… whatever. That’s up to the superintendent and/or GM or committee or whatever. If you have issues with that, take it up with them.

Regardless of the policy, I promise you the grounds crew are not judging your shot. Don’t feel nervous, don’t feel pressured, don’t feel like you “have an audience”. We don’t care. We have seen literally every type of golf shot and we don’t give a fuck.

The cart girl on the other hand; she cares a lot. In fact if you rip a drive up the middle in front of her she’ll probably sleep with you. If you cold top it, she’ll tell all her friends and you’ll die alone.

Edit I guess I should add: I am referring mostly to the comments I hear after someone hits a shot “oh man you made me nervous sitting there watching” or “I can’t hit with an audience” or even those who go so far as to tell me to go somewhere else because they don’t want to hit when I’m watching.

As far as you hitting when grounds crew are potentially in your landing zone; make sure they can see you before you hit and from there most guys are pretty good at spotting balls and watching your body language to know if it’s coming their way.

For me I would much rather be standing in the middle of the fairway watching you hit towards me, rather than ducking into the trees and being blind and just hoping a ball doesn’t come my way.

The main point of the post is simply to say: swing like no one is watching… cause we most likely aren’t. We are probably on our phones or daydreaming about the cart girl who won’t sleep with you, but she probably likes sweaty guys who cut grass.