u/FatRascal_

Me and my wife have been together for nearly a decade, married for over two years now. We have two kids who are my step kids. I love them all dearly and I think that they love me the same.

I am very happy with our family and wouldn’t change anything. I love my wife, I love our kids and I love our life.

I’m so set that I had a vasectomy about a year back.

The issue is I’ve uncovered some feelings about that which I didn’t have before. I love my kids, I will just never be “dad” to them. I will never be “dad” to anyone.

The decision to have a vasectomy wasn’t something I took lightly, I sat with it for over a year and spoke to my wife at length about it, until I was sure that it was something I wanted to do. I haven’t been able to go and give a sample in to confirm that I’m sterile, because the idea that I’ll never undeniably be someone’s dad is hitting me really hard.

Obviously that’s the whole point of the procedure and I knew that going in. I had thought about it for a long time and was fine with it, but maybe the permanence of the test is revealing that I wasn’t totally fine with it.

If I took the test and it came back that the vasectomy didn’t work, then I’d still go and get it done again, that’s the mad thing about all this.

Is it wrong to love my life but still feel really sad about this? I’m very confused with these conflicting emotions and I don’t want to bring it up with my wife just yet incase it comes off wrong or that I’m regretting it and resentful or whatever.

It’s triggered a bit of an identity crisis in me as I viewed myself very much as a father, and I still do, but I keep thinking about all the things that me and my wife will not experience for definite. Is this a normal reaction?

I just needed a place to vent for a bit, because I’m sitting up at 4am unable to sleep over this.

Species: Dog

Age: 4

Sex/Neuter status: Male/Fixed

Breed: Toy Poodle/Bichon mix

Body weight: ~2kg

History: Admitted with pain in late Aug 2025. Had surgery to remove urinary stones.

Admitted again in early Sept 2025 with several fits. Discovered a liver shunt that caused his stones and the fits. We manage this via diet and twice daily lactulose on advice from vets. He's been perfectly fine since. No sign of recurrence of either issue yet.

Clinical signs: N/A

Duration: N/A

Your general location: Scotland

Links to test results, X-rays, vet reports etc: N/A

We have a dog who had been identified in Sept 2025 as having a liver shunt which caused bladder stones and eventually fits after surgical removal of the bladder stones (vet thinks this was due to medication to support him post-op)

He's perfectly fine so far under the new diet, he's peeing freely and not in any pain at all. He's eaten almost exclusively the hepatic food the vet recommended since his ordeal. We give him lactulose twice daily and milk thistle to support his digestion. We have diazepam for a recurrence of fits, but he's never needed them.

It's come time now, for his annual vaccinations and we're getting some conflicting advice on that with regards the the little guy and his malfunctioning liver. Some vets, including the surgeon who saw him, say that we should be cautious of the vaccinations as his liver doesn't need more toxins to sort through, and some say he'll be fine.

What would you recommend? Get his annual vaccinations or not?

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