u/FeatherFlyer

So I am getting married and my fiancés sister who will be 21 next month asked if she could be the flower girl. I thought it was super sweet that she wanted to be in the wedding and have something special to do, so of course we said yes.

My FSIL doesn't work and the family does not have money (FMIL and FSIL live with other family members). We both know this and actually my fiancé is planning to pay for his fathers suit and mothers dress. Both parents talked to my fiancé about it, so its upfront and clear that that is the expectation.

But my FSIL hasn't said a word about her dress. She hasn't asked what color to wear, she hasn't asked for help with purchasing a dress, she hasn't shown any interest in the wedding really. I imagine she maybe is just shy or embarrassed about the situation? But I want to make sure she has whatever she needs.

The problem is, she lowkey a little entitled in the family (as is the father). Not in a demanding way, but as an example the family will be invited out to birthdays and the sister and father will go. They will order the most expensive items and LOTS of items to have leftovers but have 0 plan to pay other than having my fiancé pay. He has told them before to stop doing that, but they kind of don't care. Its a symptom of a larger issue. On top of it, we found out later that she was given money by a family member to pay for herself, but pocketed it.

So the question is, should we just offer to pay and make sure she is taken care of and not make a big deal about it? Do we ask her to pay a nominal amount like $50 and the we cover the rest? And should my fiancé do it, or should I? Any advice here is appreciated!

So my fiancé, I love him to bits. But he grew up with little money, so he's super comfortable and happy to wear things that don't fit. He works somewhere that requires him to wear a suit daily and NONE of his suits fit. Pants too long (he's a shorty), sleeves too long, shirts too baggy etc. Actually, 2 of his suits have MASSIVE holes in the pants, but he says he's "fine" with it.

I try to buy him nicer things but he usually asks me to return it since it's too much money and would rather buy things on clearance. He went to a tailor once and she totally screwed up his pants and made them TOO short. He didnt say a WORD and just ripped out the stitches. After that he'd rather them be long and doesn't trust seamstresses.

SO. When it comes to his wedding suit, I found about 3 different stores that I thought would be a good idea to visit and see if he likes their options/prices. I tried to pick a day to go and he was surprised I wanted to tag along. He became super adamant that he should go alone, just like I went dress shopping alone. He also advocated that maybe he'll just bring his groomsmen along to shop at all these different places.

I told him as much as I love him, I don't necessarily trust him to pick out a suit that is nice for our wedding. I also don't trust him to speak up for himself if something doesn't fit right (too long, too short) and he'll just accept whatever. I ALSO told him not to drag his groomsmen anywhere until he decides on the store, so they don't all show up to a store, get measured and never return.

But ladies, tell me. Did your men go alone? Did they get the job done? Or should I go with him JUST in case.