u/FeatherFlyer

Just be aware, I did contact my doctors office and I’m waiting for their response.

So I’ve seen a GI doctor for years. They’ve done multiple colonoscopies and endoscopies. everything is fine other than gastritis and IBS. Back on 8/6 I decided to get fast food and got Wendy’s. Then later that night I had a birria burrito for dinner. For 6 days I had terrible pains, gas, diarrhea, bloating, distended upper abdomen like near the gallbladder, nausea and weakness.

I started to feel ok after day 6 and 3 days later I tried to eat more normalized food. I had a veggie fried rice for lunch (homemade with farmers market veg bought earlier) and then chicken with broccolini for dinner. Back to OG symptoms from days before. I recovered 2 days later. Then yesterday I had cereal with milk. Man…..I feel like I can’t win. Since yesterday every food I have I immediately dump. And it’s agonizing pain. And when I said I immediately dump….my mom got me soup with some carrots and celery from a local spot, and within 30 min I could see the celery in the bowl. Every bite of food exited me so quickly.

Today I tried to have some breakfast and it stayed….yay! But then lunch I had some crackers and started to feel gassy. Then dinner I had soup….and out it all goes.

I sent my doctor a message on the portal and plan to call in the AM. But man…..I have no idea what’s happening with me. I’ve never had such a constant pain with NEVER being able to keep something down. I’m tired, I’m dehydrated, I’m weak, and I’m fucking over this.

To preface, I’ve done 2 colonoscopies, CT and a bunch of other tests in the past and my diagnosis is gastritis and IBS. Basically I’m told to just suffer, as there isn’t much help.

Back in February I had some food poisoning at a chipotle that triggered a terrible flare that lasted until June. I begged my gastro to fit me in and we scheduled a colonoscopy. Symptoms included loads of pain in the upper abdomen (near the gallbladder), mid abdomen, diarrhea, nausea, excessive bile, etc. Prep was super easy and colonoscopy went off without any issue. Doc said I’m still the same, nothings changed.

About 4 days later I eat a cannoli, one of my favorite things, and I am STRAIGHT back to all sorts of pain. I decide to do a food journal and take food seriously. The cannoli had palm oil in it, so I decided no more of those. I tracked my food and wrote down what triggered my pain. I went from only 1 good day a week to trying and limit my diet so I have mostly good days. Last week I went 3 weeks without any issues!

Then the shit storm. Life had been hectic and I went all day without eating. It’s 2pm and I’m on the road so I stop for Wendy’s. A spicy chicken sandwich, a coke, a fry. I eat and go on my way. By 6pm my fiance is hungry so we make burritos at home. We used some Trader Joe’s frozen birria, Mexican rice, sour cream, cheese and a cilantro lime sauce we made from scratch. About 45 minutes later I’m dying. I’m on the toilet about every 5 minutes. I can’t hold anything down. I tried pepto to be able to function but can only make it 10 hours before I need another dose. I tried gas -x, tums, stronger pepto….nothing.

I’m on day 6 and I’m barely eating. When I do eat, I’m in so much pain. When I don’t, it still comes and goes. It’s mostly upped to mid abdomen. I am crying myself to sleep the last 2 nights because i can’t function. I can’t eat. I feel utterly useless. Idk what to do. Doctors tell me it’s just gastritis pain or ibs pain but I feel so horribly sick and in pain. I’m so sad :(

This week we had a conversation about money and the wedding and it made my fiancé so sad and upset, so I just want to rant a bit. Obviously some details will be changed to keep anonymity.

So my fiancés parents are divorced. Both folks don't work, live off of government assistance, and utilize their own parents to support them. One was working for a bit part time but stopped about a year ago and hasn't gone back. Mind you, both parents still find money to go out, have hobbies or collectables. They are both immature people who really don't take accountability for their actions nor their spending. As an example, whenever we see them and we go out to dinner, we are footing the bill. For holidays, birthdays or big life events we get a "congrats" but no card, no gifts, nothing. This isn't something new to us, and we've navigated this dynamic for a while. My fiancé is hurt by this behavior but anytime it's brought up, it's like WWIII.

As we got engaged, my folks offered to pay for the wedding, which we were extremely grateful for. The deal is they pay for food, beverage, venue and we pay for any vendors we need (DJ, florals, videographer). My folks aren't wealthy but they've set money aside and want to gift this to us, which is amazing.

This week my fiancé and I started to look at our budget and how much we are spending out of pocket. It's all starting to add up on our end and my parents offered us more money to help us, which is very considerate. They asked me if my future in-laws would be contributing anything and I told them no. I checked in with my fiancé since the assumption was no, but we never really asked them. We know they don't have much so we didn't expect anything. But in the same vain, my fiancé is starting to feel their financial burden. Who is paying for the suit or dress? Probably my fiancé. Who is paying for their hotel (2 rooms mind you)? Probably my fiancé. Who is paying for the rehearsal dinner? Us. Anything they should be taking care of themselves is on his shoulder.

I told him to not make assumptions anymore and to just flat out ask them. He did and one parent straight up told him he should know they have nothing. The other hasn't responded.

My fiancé is so down, so sad, and so embarrassed by this all. My in-laws really don't support him in the ways he wishes and it's really getting to him. He sees how my parents are stepping up and supporting us, and his don't seem to care. I wish I knew how to support him, how to make him feel better about it all. But I don't :(

Hi! We are having about 130 people at our wedding. We are having a 3 tiered cake, but you know, some people dont love cake! Our cake place has a dessert table option of the following:

• mini apple crisps (in mini mason jars)
• dessert shooters (chocolate mousse)
• mini tarts (mixed fruit assortment)
• dipped strawberries (GF)
• cannoli (vanilla and chocolate chip)
• lemon squares

This is $675 for 75 servings. We would also do a dozen cupcakes for our gluten free guests for $45.

Is this too much dessert? Are we doing too much? Should we just get like an additional dessert, only 1 of these instead of a whole table?

Thanks for your input!

Does anyone feel like they don’t have a lot of close people in their lives and wedding planning is just exacerbating it?

I’m in love with my wedding venue. And I knew that they had a Saturday minimum of 150. I also fell in love with my bridal shower venue and their minimum is 60.

For the shower, about 15 people cannot come, and now I might not be able to meet the minimum. For the wedding, we came up with about 130 people and lord knows even less might come when we send RSVPs. Right now I’m feeling very alone. Like I couldn’t even do what these venues are asking of me. I know it sounds so lame to say, but I feel friendless. We had a short list of about 14 people total that were iffy on inviting. Old coworkers I haven’t talked to much, old friends we’ve been in and out of touch with, new friends I just made, friends of my siblings that feel almost like family but also a stretch to invite….

It’s like on one hand I’m thinking “Why gatekeep this wedding? We need to hit a minimum so fuck it, let’s party with everyone.” And then on the other hand I’m like “am I just inviting these people so I can fill seats? Is that as sad as I think it is?”

Overall I’m feeling very down. I feel like I have no real friends to invite other than like a handful (most of our list is family) and I’m feeling sorry for myself to not make the minimum amounts. Blah. It’s a stupid problem to complain about but it feels real to me.

Does anyone feel like they don’t have a lot of close people in their lives and wedding planning is just exacerbating it?

I’m in love with my wedding venue. And I knew that they had a Saturday minimum of 150. I also fell in love with my bridal shower venue and their minimum is 60.

For the shower, about 15 people cannot come, and now I might not be able to meet the minimum. For the wedding, we came up with about 130 people and lord knows even less might come when we send RSVPs. Right now I’m feeling very alone. Like I couldn’t even do what these venues are asking of me. I know it sounds so lame to say, but I feel friendless. We had a short list of about 14 people total that were iffy on inviting. Old coworkers I haven’t talked to much, old friends we’ve been in and out of touch with, new friends I just made, friends of my siblings that feel almost like family but also a stretch to invite….

It’s like on one hand I’m thinking “Why gatekeep this wedding? We need to hit a minimum so fuck it, let’s party with everyone.” And then on the other hand I’m like “am I just inviting these people so I can fill seats? Is that as sad as I think it is?”

Overall I’m feeling very down. I feel like I have no real friends to invite other than like a handful (most of our list is family) and I’m feeling sorry for myself to not make the minimum amounts. Blah. It’s a stupid problem to complain about but it feels real to me.

Planning on finishing the event when the sticker boom happens while ALSO opening a purple pack! Hoping to get the most yield by getting extra stickers from a purple and 2 blue packs, then I’ll get the wild. Fingers crossed I get SOMETHING. And if not, it’s fuel to help open a 700 sticker vault!

I just picked up my dress and I love it so much!!! Unfortunately it’s a little big. I think I lost some weight between then and now (doctors orders to take weight loss more seriously). I plan to hit the gym more but now I’m nervous. How easy will it be for a seamstress to fix? I’m looking for anyone who has been through this! I think I was around 263 when I was measured and now I’m like 256. I’m hoping to be 240 by wedding day (4 months away!)

Hi ladies! I need some suggestions because I wear the same sneakers daily and don't own a lick of shape wear other than bike shorts lol.

I have a wide foot, so I am looking for white or ivory heels (not too high) that are comfortable for a wide foot. Any recommendations are SO appreciated!

Also looking for shape wear! My dress is strapless and I NEED something like shorts because my thighs rub together like no ones business.

My fiance and I got into a bit of a tiff and I wanted some outside opinions. Here’s some important background information.

1. My fiance drinks about 2-3 coffees a day, mostly espresso. I do not drink coffee at all.

2. We live in a condo unit with not a lot of space especially in the kitchen.

3. His family does not have a lot of money and most likely will either not gift us anything on our wedding day or something very small if they can.

So we are building our registry and my fiance wanted to add a coffee machine to our registry. He’s talked about one for ages so I was excited to hear he was considering an espresso maker since he could save money by making his coffee at home vs go out. He was between a very expensive $550 machine and a $120 machine. He showed me the two and obviously the cheaper one is smaller and wouldn’t take up too much real estate on our counter vs the more expensive one.

Last night he announced he wasn’t doing the cheap one and was opting for the larger one. He kept saying it was an “entry level” espresso maker that will make all sorts of coffees and he didn’t want anything less than that. I looked at it again and asked him where it was going to go in the kitchen. He started to get defensive about it, saying we’d figure it out and it wasn’t a big deal. Then I asked how he’d feel if he didn’t get it at all since I doubt someone on my side of the family would splurge on such an expensive item. He got upset saying registry’s are meant for high ticket items. I told him that since he hasn’t gone to showers, he doesn’t understand that people actually really dislike feeling forced to buy such expensive things and it’s usually something no one will buy. So he said he’d just make a fund for it instead.

At that point we are both heated and he told me my le creuset Dutch oven is also expensive and asked why that’s on there but his can’t be. I agreed and said it was too expensive and I’d take it off. We went back and forth a lot and I told him if he can reasonably find a spot for it then he can add it, but our space is small and we can’t just chuck it on the counter. He then said he’d just take it off entirely and to forget it.

We made up eventually and moved on from it but I want to know how people feel about these expensive items on lists. Is it appropriate to ask for those things? Is it kind of in bad taste? Is it what the registry is meant for?

So my fiancé and I went to look at suits and he’s feeling super defeated so I wanted to see what the internet could provide!

He’s a more wide shouldered plus size man with a bigger chest. Any suits he’s owned never fit right but for our wedding he was excited to look for something nice. The first place we went to measured him at a 52. It was too small on his belly/chest and he could barely close it. But when he went to a 54 the shoulders were WILDLY boxy and everything looked almost too big.

We went to another place where we had a similar experience but they told him about custom suits. He tried on some jackets that fit WAY better because of the cut. The price to rent a standard suit is $260. The cost to buy a custom suit is like $1700. He’s feeling defeated because he feels like he has to get a custom suit to look his best and feel his best. But he’s upset that he’s such a different shape that he HAS to go custom and spend so much money.

I told him I spent $3200 on my dress, so really it’s ok that his custom is as much as it is. Im happy if he’s happy! But I understand the feeling he has, both because it’s an expense he didn’t account for and it’s just hard to know due to size he has to do something different than his party. Had anyone had experience getting a custom suit? Was it worth it? Did you love it enough to spend the money?

So I had a colonoscopy earlier this week and I realized how much better I felt after the prep. Like my body wasn’t bloated, I wasn’t in pain, I wasn’t having diarrhea or anything else that usually ails me. For the first time in about 4 months I felt ok. I’ve been super depressed the last 4 months because it felt like my body was giving up on itself. But lately I’ve been so happy that it felt like I got a reset. I had my colonoscopy Tuesday.

Last night (Friday) I had something I love. A cannoli. Maybe 15 minutes after the cannoli I was writhing pain. Very bloated, immediately ran to the bathroom with ridiculous amounts of diarrhea, loads of abdominal pain everywhere, my abdomen is making so many loud noises and gurgles, you get the jist. After my 3rd visit to the bathroom I realize that my diet is a huge factor in my pain. I can’t keep doing this to myself. I’m not sure if it’s how sweet it was, the dairy, the fat, no clue. But if I have to give up cannolis to not have this debilitating pain, so be it. Because those 3 days of pain free bliss are worth more than a sweet treat I love. It’s super frustrating but I don’t care anymore. This pain just made me feel so depressed again. But I’m going to try and do my best to curb this pain. Because fuck this.

So I am doing my prep now and that ducolax REALLY kicked my butt. I finished my first half of the miralax as well. But I am peeing out of my butt and it is yellow liquid, no cloudiness, no bits, all clear. I am SHOCKED that it happened so fast but also so annoyed because I have the rest of the day/night today and then almost half the day tomorrow to be on this liquid diet and finish my miralax. Anyone else clear out this fast? Or is this just false hope and more is to come?

We get married at the end of this year and we don’t know what to do about his student loan debt.

Without getting into too many details, it’s about $20k. He has the means to pay it all off but will have $0 after. I can help him pay it off in full and he pay me back over time but he doesn’t want me to have to do that.

We are under the impression that his debt then becomes my debt (in the sense that it might affect things like credit score or ability to get a loan for a house) so he wants to try and figure this all out before we get married. Anyone who married their partner with student loan debt, did it change anything for you credit wise? Or are we dumb and just don’t know anything about this stuff lol.

So I am getting married and my fiancés sister who will be 21 next month asked if she could be the flower girl. I thought it was super sweet that she wanted to be in the wedding and have something special to do, so of course we said yes.

My FSIL doesn't work and the family does not have money (FMIL and FSIL live with other family members). We both know this and actually my fiancé is planning to pay for his fathers suit and mothers dress. Both parents talked to my fiancé about it, so its upfront and clear that that is the expectation.

But my FSIL hasn't said a word about her dress. She hasn't asked what color to wear, she hasn't asked for help with purchasing a dress, she hasn't shown any interest in the wedding really. I imagine she maybe is just shy or embarrassed about the situation? But I want to make sure she has whatever she needs.

The problem is, she lowkey a little entitled in the family (as is the father). Not in a demanding way, but as an example the family will be invited out to birthdays and the sister and father will go. They will order the most expensive items and LOTS of items to have leftovers but have 0 plan to pay other than having my fiancé pay. He has told them before to stop doing that, but they kind of don't care. Its a symptom of a larger issue. On top of it, we found out later that she was given money by a family member to pay for herself, but pocketed it.

So the question is, should we just offer to pay and make sure she is taken care of and not make a big deal about it? Do we ask her to pay a nominal amount like $50 and the we cover the rest? And should my fiancé do it, or should I? Any advice here is appreciated!

So my fiancé, I love him to bits. But he grew up with little money, so he's super comfortable and happy to wear things that don't fit. He works somewhere that requires him to wear a suit daily and NONE of his suits fit. Pants too long (he's a shorty), sleeves too long, shirts too baggy etc. Actually, 2 of his suits have MASSIVE holes in the pants, but he says he's "fine" with it.

I try to buy him nicer things but he usually asks me to return it since it's too much money and would rather buy things on clearance. He went to a tailor once and she totally screwed up his pants and made them TOO short. He didnt say a WORD and just ripped out the stitches. After that he'd rather them be long and doesn't trust seamstresses.

SO. When it comes to his wedding suit, I found about 3 different stores that I thought would be a good idea to visit and see if he likes their options/prices. I tried to pick a day to go and he was surprised I wanted to tag along. He became super adamant that he should go alone, just like I went dress shopping alone. He also advocated that maybe he'll just bring his groomsmen along to shop at all these different places.

I told him as much as I love him, I don't necessarily trust him to pick out a suit that is nice for our wedding. I also don't trust him to speak up for himself if something doesn't fit right (too long, too short) and he'll just accept whatever. I ALSO told him not to drag his groomsmen anywhere until he decides on the store, so they don't all show up to a store, get measured and never return.

But ladies, tell me. Did your men go alone? Did they get the job done? Or should I go with him JUST in case.