u/FernerButterflyPea

How do you deal with other people lying? Particularly people in authority positions that lie about you and cause you material damage.

Is it not healthy to get angry at this? I feel pretending everything is okay is suppression.

You state the truth about an abuse that happened. The person in authority gaslights you and punishes you further.

You aren't supposed to react and say fuck you?

I can smash okay when I have time to prepare and my footwork is good, but when I have to run sideways (e.g. left to right and I'm a righty) I drag the ball into the net and/or mishit it.

Do you have any tips for smashing when you are off balance a bit or have less time to prepare stable footwork?

I'm a righty. I want to first serve down the T when serving from the deuce side, and serve to the wide right of the service box when serving from the ad side.

What is my best starting position, primarily for doubles, and how big should the difference be for singles?

Thanks.

"Boundaries are the practical expression of justice. Withdraw assent from impressions. You can deal justly with people by adjusting proximity — no endless patience. The pattern of being stepped on is data, not moral failure. Build healthy ego — indifference to externals that are not under your control."

Versus...

"Preferred indifferents (health, energy, relationships that function) matter because they support the exercise of virtue; burning them out for people who will not reciprocate is not noble."

Seems to me to be a contradiction there of indifference versus matter.

I am trying to practice stoic virtue: Wisdom, temperance, courage, and justice — I always stumble at the justice part because I believe I am too kind to narcissistic strangers or taken advantage of.

So, how would you approach this? Would you reframe this virtue of justice?

For example, instead of treat others fairly, give yourself permission to treat yourself fairly? See virtue in yourself instead of in others...

This is an issue I have with almost every spiritual practice — it is all geared around destroying an ego, when I already dangerously never had a healthy ego to begin with. My already burnt out overgiver caretaker needed more validation to receive itself, at least psychology states I needed to take care of my self more even if stoicism considers it a preferred indifferent...

In some ways I feel guilt or a toxic shame talking to anybody else in this world, because they think they are a moral kind person and I know they are not, and so to give to them before myself is actually an evil.

Yet there is supposed to be some merit to treating strangers with the kindness of acquaintences, acquaintences as if they are friends, friends as if close family, and so on...

I don't know. That doesn't ring true for my experience as a stepped on wallflower.

So I'm studying stoicism, and the topic of justice triggers me. To a stoic, the virtue of justice means focusing on fairness, kindness, treating a stranger as an acquaintance, not stealing property, and so on...

However, it is a very personal thing, about what is in your control. For example, if someone commits injustice to you, you aren't supposed to get angry at it because of the world being full of harmful idiots which is out of your control.

However, if you commit injustice on others, you are supposed to correct it.

This, to me, is an imbalance, and an injustice.

In other words, it could lead to the things Machiavelli warned about such as the lower nature of others domineering the fair.

I guess my point is this. I am trying to practice stoic virtue: Wisdom, temperance, courage, and justice — I always stumble at the justice part because I believe I am too kind to narcissistic strangers or taken advantage of.

So, how would you approach this? Would you reframe this virtue of justice?

For example, instead of treat others fairly, give yourself permission to treat yourself fairly? See virtue in yourself instead of in others...?

This is an issue I have with almost every spiritual practice — it is all geared around destroying an ego, when I already dangerously never had a healthy ego to begin with. My already burnt out overgiver caretaker needed more validation to receive itself...

In some ways I feel guilt or a toxic shame talking to anybody else in this world, because they think they are a moral kind person and I know they are not, and so to give to them before myself is a disservice.

Yet there is supposed to be some merit to treating strangers with the kindness of acquaintences, acquaintences as if they are friends, friends as if close family, and so on...

I don't know. That doesn't ring true for my experience as a stepped on wallflower.

So, for many years this puzzled me. I was raised religious, to do good things because God wanted me to, and when I questioned everything in my early teens I became more depressed without a higher power.

Stoicism seems to point at virtue being good in and of itself, with or without a religion — as if virtue itself is the higher power.

This is good news because oftentimes I'd envy the good deed of the practicing Christian, with no way to do it myself because of disbelief in a hypocritical god, or unfair karma.

With stoicism, my virtue is enough.

In the virtue of justice, stoics state to not blame your neighbour, and so on...

That's fine, but what if your neighbour blames you?

I know, as a police officer, he was a bit "green"... but, if I suspend my racism for one moment, at least he was not a hypocrite.

So, I was practicing my serve and my coach said I had to be in a forehand grip because I had too much waiter's tray.

The problem is I don't realise when I am switching from continental, but he said it has to be early on for me to be hitting it that way.

Anyway, it's annoying because my racket drop and my flat serve have somehow improved and have more power, but I must be slipping into the wrong grip to achieve a consistent flat serve.

So, basically, when I try to change this, I hit the ball all over the place, and typically with less power - my better grip with more pronation most likely results in a slow slice serve I don't intend way too far to the left, but I guess I am still looking for the main tip to stay in continental on the serve and prevent waiter's tray and yet still hit a pretty powerful and accurate flat serve...

Was this a good leadership style to take with Christophaa?

I am speaking more generally, as a mob boss in the late 90s, would ultimatums be a good strategy?

Tony's leadership style is questionable at times, like when he doesn't let that guy leave and he ends up killing himself.

But when I think about it, I don't know what leadership style would work as a mob boss.

In my last two sets, each against different opponents, I have hit a ball that was going long that, to other players, I should have clearly left to win the point.

I'm not sure why I do it. Has anyone overcome this problem?

Why do you think this is the highest rated episode?

Is it your highest rated or not?

I am 25 minutes into it and Marie is still whining about some bullshit.

I'm not saying it is a bad episode before that but I don't really get why Walt doing a deal with the Nazis is that great.

For example, the good times cooking meth with Jesse and his parties and buying back his aunt's house in the early seasons was great.

I'm just a bit surprised that this later seasons bullshit peaked.

Maybe the only reason it did well at all is because they went back to O.G. Breaking Bad at the beginning.

But what I am saying is you could easily critique seeing the actors were older and not who they were supposed to be in the prequel cut scenes, and elements of the episode

The Sopranos was great, but I can't watch any behind the scenes documentaries or sequel movies or podcasts of the actors. It's all a big nothing

How do you play against someone who you know you will be playing next and is likely to beat you around 6-4 each set based on previous experience.

I was playing somebody above my level today. I decided to play with a control racket. He beat me 6-4, and I felt I lacked my normal power from my power racket.

Anyway, I switched rackets, we rallied, and I hit some great shots — far better than in the first set.

However, I did even worse in the match play second set with the power racket afterwards.

It's like my game with the power racket is great when the pressure is off and rallying for fun but under pressure I missed almost everything and couldn't replicate what I was doing in practice.

It was a strange experience for me to get the yips with my power racket in an actual match play scenario and see how badly I played compared with how well I was hitting it in the warm up

Been playing for approx. 5 months, twice per week — sometimes more.

I'm 5'10, 70kg, and use Grip 3 on a Yonex Ezone 100. I've just got a Grip 3 Vcore Pro 97L and it seems to make a bit of a difference but I still feel my non-dominant hand is far less tender.

I've also now added the thickest overgrip to my Ezone and next time I restring I will be lowering the tension to 48.

Any other suggestions?

I've seen rocket grips advertised and maybe that is something I will try if stringing the tension lower doesn't work.