u/Few_Soil1186

Do you guys have specifics on your child’s birthday in your parenting plan?

My ex the last 3 years has left our sons birthday party up to me and didn’t even acknowledge his 2nd & 3rd birthday day of. He sent our son some gifts last year which was better than complete silence but I’ve been organizing and doing his parties. I’m also the only one who has anything to do with schooling and extracurriculars so I’m the only one who knows our son’s friends. I planned our sons birthday party on a Sunday as that’s the day he comes home from his dad parenting time, i told my ex of this when i sent invites out to confirm my son would just be picked up a bit early so he could make his party. This gave my ex the entire weekend to plan something.

It’s now a week before the party and he’s telling me he wants to take our son to an indoor waterpark for the entire weekend and keep him until Monday. I objected and reminded him of the party, and how i told him a month in advance. He’s now guilting me and telling me I’m denying my son fun experiences to be petty, and that our son would much prefer a theme park over a party.

I planned the party on a Sunday to specifically avoid possible issues, our son originally comes home at 2 according to our parenting plan, party is set for 3pm and we only live 10 minutes from eachother. I do allow us to deviate from the parenting plan occasionally, if our son wants to stay for dinner at his dad’s i usually let him. He’s threatening to go back to court over this. I’m tempted to just let him. But my concern now is i send my son for his weekend and he takes him to the amusement park and my son misses his party

I had a visit with my siblings, for context we are 28, 25, 21, and my brother is 14. I moved out at 16, and went no contact officially at 24. It’s very clear that my siblings and i were paychecks, or attempts at trapping men that failed. We all have different dads. For a majority of my mother’s life she received 2000$+ in child support but obviously we all (except the youngest) have aged out of that.

I went no contact when my mom tried to gaslight me into believing i don’t remember my extremely abusive children correctly, only to post a gofundme for 5000$ a few days later basically saying her marriage was abusive the entire time. Therefore corroborating my story that i had an abusive childhood. lol.

My sisters have told me that, our mom is charging them 1100$ per month to live with her despite the fact she never taught them to drive (deadbeat fathers keep in mind) but can buy her jobless and unlicensed boyfriend an SUV, and register and insure it for him to drive around. He doesn’t work! My mom is on Facebook bragging about how she’s a homeowner now, but nobody knows that this is happening on my siblings dollar. I don’t know why it enrages me SOOO badly. The worst part is my oldest sister who’s 3 years younger than me (I’m the oldest) is so brainwashed she believes she’s indebted to our mother and SHOULD be helping her. She told me that our mom wouldn’t be able to buy the house without her and that she’s going to be paying MORE than she is (which is 160 per week) to help with the mortgage because the mortgage is going to be 600$ more than what rent is. My sisters are paying her rent ENTIRELY! But then they’re treated as maids, doing her boyfriends laundry, giving him money for gas to do whatever with. For me, if the boyfriend wasn’t in the equation and my mom didn’t make as much money as she does i wouldn’t CARE. But my mom is a 70k salary worker, who still receives 600$ a month in child support for my brother and whom takes from her children so her boyfriend can live for free. I want to confront her for my siblings sake SO BADLY, but it won’t matter. It just sucks sooo bad knowing this and not being able to do ANYTHING.

I’ve posted in here a few times but I’m genuinely bothered and i don’t know if anyone else ever feels the way i do.
I suffered SA as a teenager, and then again as an adult in a relationship. I don’t let it rule my life and my husband and i have sex semi regularly after a dry spell where he communicates that we can’t go a month without having sex because it is bad for our marriage. We now have sex weekly, i literally dedicate myself and prepare myself for it. The problem is my husband is borderline hypersexual, it’s all he talks about. All the time. Ever.
He is constantly grabbing me, making sexual comments etc.. in the early years of dating and marriage i thought it was just normal. A phase he would get out of with age, and children and time. He hasn’t.

I’ve openly communicated that he makes me feel really objectified sometimes, that i want us to spend time together and the entire thing to not be talking about sex we’ve had, or should have or hadn’t had in a few days. I’m tired of hearing about how sexy i am. And it’s not like I’d be mad if it was a comment here and there you guys. I understand some women suffer the exact opposite and it’s just as hurtful, but whenever we’re alone (children are napping) it’s all he wants to do. Today i was like “come on honey, we’re having some time together can we please talk about something else” and he got up and walked away from me. We don’t have conversation. We don’t do things together without him turning it sexual. We get in these cycles where i will literally have a mental breakdown over it because it’s like what else? Do you think im funny? Do you enjoy being around me? Or is the only thing im good for is a quick fuck? It’s disheartening because as a young woman I’ve always felt my greatest assets were my physical ones. My mom was extremely sexist preparing me for marriage since i gained consciousness, her husband molested me when i was a teen. It’s like damn. This has been my entire life. I’ve been an object my entire life. And my husband knows my past and he does nothing to make me feel like I’m something other than a vagina and tits. He’ll say I’m so important to him and he appreciates everything i do, but the second i don’t want to have sex or talk about sex he draws back. This is a recurring issue and i did my part, i have sex with him beyond what i even genuinely want. I could go months without but i don’t. I just feel like crying. I feel like this is a ridiculous thing to divorce over but i can’t stand it. I feel like i can’t deal with this for the rest of my life.

I’ve posted on here a few times and am going to give a quick preface:
My ex and i have been separated 3 years, our son is 4. The first year of separation was a bit rough, he saw our son on and off. September of 2024 he got his act together and was seeing our son consistently, atleast once a week for an overnight visit. We live in the same school district so this worked with the head start program our son attended.
Fall of 2025 he got a new girlfriend and she despises me, doesn’t have custody of her own kids (i only include this because i don’t think she dislikes my son i just think she can’t be bothered by the responsibility of children) and her and i have had some issues with her drunkenly harassing me. We went to court and settled, my lawyer told me to do a schedule i thought he could truly commit to because it was always sporadic, he would just kind of pick his days and because we live so close i didn’t care. I did the bare minimum amount thinking he would fight for more and we would find a common ground. I fully expected him to fight for 50/50 because it was pretty close to that before we went to court. He would take our son for 4 night weekends and a night or two in between. He didn’t fight for anything.

This past Sunday was Father’s Day, he didn’t have our son a full 24 hours. Our son cried for 2 hours after coming home. His girlfriend texted me at 9am asking if they could drop him off at noon, and he got dropped off at 4 the night before. He frequently skips on his Friday night start to his weekend, so my son goes Saturday-Sunday and my son has told me he wants to stay. His dad just says “no you have to go back to mommy buddy” and my son seems angry with me but it’s not my choice. For Father’s Day i argued and actually asked them to just keep him a few hours more because he hadn’t seen his dad in two weeks, and was really missing him. Didn’t matter.

My son is off school until his summer camp begins, his father was aware and has not requested any extra time. It doesn’t matter to me, i am a daycare provider and my sons summer program runs right at my job. So him taking our son does nothing for me, so it’s not like I’m complaining because I’m reliant on him taking our son. But I’m the one here listening to the tears, I’m the one dealing with the angry outbursts because my son is blaming me. He thinks this is me. But i refuse to be petty and tell him his dad doesn’t answer me when i say our son wants to see him. I even text his girlfriend so she doesn’t try to say I’m just looking for an excuse to reach out.

I think the hardest thing is that this is my sons life, i got to walk away from it and have a new life of my own but this is my sons childhood. And his dad SUCKS. His dad complains he has an attitude at his house now, won’t sleep etc.. and i just want to scream “have you considered he’s acting out because he wants your attention?? Because he misses you??” But i hold my tongue because his girlfriend believes any time i try to talk to him about our son im trying to weasel my way back into my exes life. As if it hasn’t been years and ive never tried once. It’s about my kid. That’s IT.

Ugh sigh. Sorry

My ex and i have joint legal custody, and i have residential custody. Joint decision making but our son lives with me. In my opinion the fact we have joint legal custody means there should be an open line of communication.
He has not attended a school meeting since our agreement was established.
He has not taken our son to a doctor’s office since his birth let alone the order being established.

His new girlfriend is very jealous and wants us talking as little as possible (his words) and what I’m noticing now is that if i didn’t reach out to confirm his parenting time, i don’t think he would. He rarely confirms anything, most times i confirm an hour before his parenting time even though our order says 24 hours prior. He frequently changes drop off and pick up locations and times and so i asked for confirmation on if we were going as the order states. Tomorrow he is due to have our son, i have not heard from him. The order states the child is to be dropped off to him by 2 and returned home by 6:30. He recently got a job, didn’t provide me any details or his schedule and so I’m not sure if this obligation can be fulfilled.

I know that with residential custody, i am the primary parent and so I’m fine with doing confirmations a majority of the time. It’s getting to a point though where I’ll reach out and he’ll tell me he’ll “let me know” and then an hour before drop off he’ll change the time or just tell me he’s going to get him altogether which i feel he’s doing to be a prick. I don’t give him a lot of issues and i rarely speak to him and i added the 24 hour notice because he does this all the time.

Am i going to look like a total c*nt going to court and asking for a revision in our custody arrangement because of his new job and not being able to fulfill previous obligations? Because if i text him tomorrow and he changes something im going to be annoyed, he refuses to send me his work schedule or communicate with me at all about this because of his girlfriend. Mind you i am married with another child with my husband, i dont speak to my coparent unless it’s about something im legally obligated to tell him about. This part im unsure of. I also didnt check in with him two weeks ago and he totally passed on his parenting time and never said anything which i documented. Should i just not reach out tomorrow?

Does anyone else struggle with the phase in preschoolers where everything has to be their way? How to you curb this a bit? Strategies to avoid the constant no’s?
Every typical request my son is used to he now says “i can’t!” “No!” “I don’t want to!” The funny part is it’s stuff we do every day, and i never DONT do with him. Ie. Getting dressed & going to school. He has PT OT and speech, he simply can’t miss school unless he’s sick. Bath time? He can’t. Shoes on? He doesn’t want to. Dinner? He can’t.

I try my best to let my no’s be no’s to prevent confusion and miscommunication. He is young and needs consistency. However he’s really pushing these days and it’s stressful to be literally man handling him to get him in the bath. But he’s outdoorsy, ticks are awful where we live, and I’m trying to instill good hygiene habits. When i pick him up from school he doesn’t want to go home. He doesn’t want to go to the park. (Which is usually a very quick yes from him)

For the most part, i try to be as agreeable as i can be. If i pick him up and he tells me he wants to go to the park, and there’s no reason we can’t. We will. If he tells me he wants a snack before bath I’m not like NO BATH NOW!! However, i feel that he’s having a hard time understanding that the bigger choices aren’t really up to him, and it’s making our days super hard lately. I found that aged 1-2 was significantly easier than 3-4. I feel like he’s gained a new sense of consciousness and that he has a place in this world. It’s amazing but also I’m not going to fight with you about brushing your teeth dude you’re brushing your teeth just brush your teeeeeethhhhhhhhh!!!

Feeling so envious of anyone who has help with their children to any capacity.
It feels hard to parent at times when you never get a break, and i don’t mean to take it out on my kids but those nights where they won’t sleep or the days they won’t nap just wear me down soooo badly.
My kids are 4 and 9 months, it’s a pretty good age gap but it’s also awful. While their needs are a lot different my older son seemed to regress so badly. He won’t nap, wants to sleep in bed with us, and just in general is more needy. But he’s older! He’s supposed to be LESS needy now.
My friend recently told me that she sleep trained her kids because her mom came over and stayed with her for a week, and at night would wake up with the kids. I couldn’t help but feel like she’s having a totally different motherhood experience than i am, my 9 month is still up 2 times a night. My 4 year old once a night maybe twice STILL, i can’t sleep train because my husband works nights and I’ll lose my mind trying to do any method of CIO or sleep training on my own especially since both kids WONT go to bed. I try to get the baby down first, and then while I’m trying to get his brother down he’ll wake up! My 4 year old does better when he doesn’t nap but also at the same time i never have a single moment without atleast one of them. Even the brief 45 minutes my husband lets me go for a walk or something in the mornings doesn’t feel like enough. I feel like if i had 45 minutes every morning, with a nice date night once or twice a month and a self care day once a month I’d do SO WELL MENTALLY. I’d have more patience! But I’m worn down soooo thin. I’m so jealous of anyone who has a trustworthy family member or members that they can count on to support them in parenting. I’m all alone and it sucks.

Feeling so envious of anyone who has help with their children to any capacity.
It feels hard to parent at times when you never get a break, and i don’t mean to take it out on my kids but those nights where they won’t sleep or the days they won’t nap just wear me down soooo badly.
My kids are 4 and 9 months, it’s a pretty good age gap but it’s also awful. While their needs are a lot different my older son seemed to regress so badly. He won’t nap, wants to sleep in bed with us, and just in general is more needy. But he’s older! He’s supposed to be LESS needy now.
My friend recently told me that she sleep trained her kids because her mom came over and stayed with her for a week, and at night would wake up with the kids. I couldn’t help but feel like she’s having a totally different motherhood experience than i am, my 9 month is still up 2 times a night. My 4 year old once a night maybe twice STILL, i can’t sleep train because my husband works nights and I’ll lose my mind trying to do any method of CIO or sleep training on my own especially since both kids WONT go to bed. I try to get the baby down first, and then while I’m trying to get his brother down he’ll wake up! My 4 year old does better when he doesn’t nap but also at the same time i never have a single moment without atleast one of them. Even the brief 45 minutes my husband lets me go for a walk or something in the mornings doesn’t feel like enough. I feel like if i had 45 minutes every morning, with a nice date night once or twice a month and a self care day once a month I’d do SO WELL MENTALLY. I’d have more patience! But I’m worn down soooo thin. I’m so jealous of anyone who has a trustworthy family member or members that they can count on to support them in parenting. I’m all alone and it sucks.

Hi all.
I’ve been NC with my mom for about 3 years now, she was neglectful, a pathological liar and chooses men over her kids. I am the only child who has a relationship with my dad.
My siblings all have different dads, and all their dads are literal deadbeats. I think it speaks for itself that i am the only adult child of hers with a license, a job, an education, and have moved out from her house.

My 2 sisters are adults in their 20’s, my brother in his teens.
I have been trying to reach out to my siblings and it never amounts to much, the first year they ignored me and told me they didn’t agree with my decision to cut our mom off. That our mom was a good mom. I ignored this because i know that they have literally no one but her, no one. We have no immediate family close by, my mom can’t keep a friend longer than a year and her boyfriend is a jobless ex felon and addict. She makes my older siblings work and pay her rent, but if i ask her to bring my siblings anywhere to spend time with them.. nothing comes of it.
I should expect that, really. Of course she’s going to make it as difficult as humanely possible so that i break NC and reach out to her to make plans.

Her boyfriend has harassed my husband, trying to tell my husband I’m a liar and i make them out to be awful people and it’s all a lie. It was insane.

I have been asking for 3 months now for my siblings and i to get together and have dinner, so they can meet their nephews. I’ve had another son since going no contact. They always have some excuse, don’t have the same times off of work, my brother has sports. But this past Friday my brother texted me and explicitly said him, my sisters and my mom were seeing mortal kombat. They didn’t invite me. But it felt like my mom told him to text me that to again, trigger me into reaching out to her. I didn’t.

Do i need to go no contact with my siblings as well? I feel like im the butt of a running joke to them and at this point I’m confused if i should just let it go. It’s hard because again, my adult sisters are adults but were never taught to drive, or think for themselves. I don’t want to give up on them…

Recently my coparent and i settled in court, a family offense was filed for a “be nice” order which has been violated by his girlfriend now 3 separate times.

My ex is a bit of a mess, after our separation he seemed to spiral a bit. Got into a big legal issue and was arrested. He pretty much abandoned our son for an entire year, rarely seeing him BUT given the circumstances of his life i knew it was probably best our son was distant from him. Our son is now 4, not long after his 3rd birthday his father reappeared wishing to rekindle his relationship with his son. I obliged. I’m not trying to keep my son from his dad at all for no reason. But i believe reasons have risen to the point i can’t keep ignoring them.

My issue is im in NY, my lawyer basically told me that New York family court operates as a reactive court not a preventive court. They’re not going to push an order through on the possibility my son might come into harms way.

My ex has a new girlfriend and their relationship is extremely volatile, my ex was and is a very mean man. Things rarely escalated to physical on my part however there were many instances where i wanted to, he was mentally and emotionally abusive. When i filed the original order that was just recently settled, he only has our son for 4 overnight visits per month. And one hourly midweek visit. However this order was established and set in motion BEFORE this new girlfriend appeared. I brought up some concerns to my lawyer but she stressed that they’re not going to take my son from his dad completely if my son has not been harmed. I just don’t see how they don’t view my son WITNESSING OTHERS being harmed as an issue worth considering revocation of overnight visits. When i filed emergency custody with no overnights because my exes girlfriend threatened to literally kill me, it was denied. I’m not sure if you could understand my reasoning that because she wants to harm me I’m in fear she’d harm my son in some retaliation tactic and given all that my ex has let her get away with up until now… would he protect my son? I don’t know. He’s made his choices, i can’t change them. But they don’t reflect a father that would stand his ground against his girlfriend mistreating his son.

I’ve learned that last month, my ex needed to get 14 stitches in his head because his girlfriend hit him over the head with a glass liquor bottle. She is clearly violent BUT my ex didn’t file charges, and i doubt he’d go on the record and admit she did that. So my worry is i file in court alleging they abuse eachother and it’s not an environment my son should be in overnight (they drink… a lot. They’re alcoholics and I’m sure that has ALOT to do with these fights) and i air all their dirty laundry, make myself look like a petty cunt, and then they retaliate once i lose. My biggest fear is retaliation. And with their history i don’t think it’s irrational to have these concerns. I would still offer him to see our son all day saturday, with more frequent hourly visits after school. I’m not trying to take my son completely because that would break my son’s heart, but i don’t think his dad is capable of having him any more than what i feel is best.

My son has told me he doesn’t like the new girlfriend, that he’s babysat by his aunt atleast one night every weekend he is there. He doesn’t have his own room due to his new step siblings having his room at his dad’s. Last time i sent him they got him late, so he was dressed in pajamas and a pull up (he doesn’t experience nighttime dryness yet) and i got him back the next day because they were giving up their extra night. He was in the SAME PULL UP even though i packed clothes for the day. When i asked my ex said “he just didn’t want me to change him”. He’s just incompetent and choosing a toxic relationship over our sons well being and i want to step in, but i don’t want to open a can of worms and it amount to nothing.

Sorry for the novel. Words of encouragement appreciated. Please think of my 4 year old mostly… because this is HIS life. It sucks so bad

I don’t know if this will make sense to anyone but sometimes more than often i really don’t feel seen by my husband. Or like he really doesn’t listen to me and it hurts.

Every time he buys me a gift or tries to be thoughtful, i appreciate the thought itself but often times i wonder… does this man know me? Understand me? Does he try to? Over the years I’ve stopped making “gift” lists for Christmas and my birthday because we’re married with children, should i really have to? Does he not know my interests? What i would like? Does he not listen when i mention anything?

I don’t need lavish gifts or expensive things. Really i don’t. This has been caused by something so small and stupid, but i can’t let it go. I am a pescatarian, today he got breakfast for us and i didn’t tell him, i just said just get whatever from our usual spot, (because should i really have to tell my husband? If roles were reversed I’d get him a meat lovers breakfast sandwich, a hash brown and a black coffee because i KNOW him. I know what he likes!) he got me a bacon egg and cheese. I was just kind of like hm, okay. Take the bacon off. He goes “why are you taking off the bacon” ?????? Is this not something people establish on like… a first date? Our first date we had a picnic and i made pasta salad with tuna. The convo of me formally being full vegetarian but having to go pescatarian for my blood disorder (don’t ask) came up. I just feel like it’s something he should remember. I literally never eat meat other than fish and it’s on occasion. We buy tofu every week for me! Like ??
He could tell you my favorite color is green. My favorite animal is a horse and my favorite food is sushi. But beyond that? I don’t know.

For Christmas last year, he got me sneakers in the wrong size and some febreeze plug ins. This caused a massive fight where i told him he needs to try harder, and with gifts he does i guess. He’ll buy a candle now instead. But it’s not the point! The point is that for Christmas i bought him new fishing gear because he mentioned ONCE that his gear was broken, new cologne because he was out. New shirts because his were stained. Beard oil because he always complains that his beard is patchy. A new toolbox and tools because he sold his to help with the expenses with first moving into our house. It’s not about what i spent but WHY i got them! I know that he doesn’t like super sweet foods, Taco Bell is the only fast food he’ll eat, NY strip is his favorite kind of steak. I could tell you his size in everything, his preferred fabrics and how i know that. I can finish his sentences, i make the bed how he likes, i do his laundry and put away his clothes how he prefers. I feel like I’ve devoted so much time into understanding him and making him feel seen that it never occurred to him to do the same. I think he believes because i put in so much effort I’m happy with how things are and I’m not. It just drives me nuts and this morning it just really set me off. I don’t try to keep score and i know he’s not the super romantic type, i almost feel ridiculous being so mad about it and he told me I’m taking it too far but.. i don’t know. Just mad and venting

Hi all, i have been no contact with my mom for years now.
Long story short, i was sexually abused by her ex husband. I thought against her knowledge, in my adult years after doing research and reaching out to others who also have gone no contact with my mother… it seems a general understanding to everyone was that she was aware. Now as a mother myself.. i can’t imagine she didn’t think something was going on. Sooo many instances i think back on now as a mother myself where im like okay that was weird.

I began looking into this issue after i had my son but also after a pretty large betrayal while i was still with my son’s father. My mom basically told my sons father that i fabricated the entire story, that i actually had a great childhood and that the only reason we have a rocky relationship is because i only connect with people as long as i can get something out of it and that i don’t really involve her because she can’t do much for me financially. At this point i hadn’t lived with my mom since her divorce from my abuser because rather than focusing on my mental health, or building stability as a single mom she got on dating websites and within a year expected me to move in with her new boyfriend. I just moved out, obviously our relationship faltered out. I saw her a few times a year.

She continued in dysfunctional relationships, my siblings suffered and continue to because even though 2 of my siblings are adults she’s been so neglectful they don’t even have permits to drive.

There’s not much good that outweighs the bad with my mother. So when she told my sons father I’m some pathological liar who actually had a good childhood i was stunned. I’m sure you could imagine my amazement further when i found her gofundme link, asking for 5,000 to help her as a single mom who got nothing in her divorce after her ex sexually abused her daughter. Yes she posted that for the world to know. I’ve never let that be “my story” for my life as a SA victim. I rarely speak of it. Then my disbelief went further after seeing my grown sister walking herself and telling me it’s impossible for her to save for a car because she pays our mother 500$ a month to live there. Despite the fact my mom has never done anything to help my siblings get a license or higher education. So my siblings don’t just live with her by choice but necessity. After chatting with my sister and offering to help her get her license I’ve been blocked by her because “i refuse to talk to our mom” and then a Facebook post was made of me by my moms boyfriend about how I’m an awful sibling who’s gone no contact with the entire family for no reason and i am making my children miss out on their “awesome grandma who loves them so much”

How do you guys handle being the “villain” when really you’re the estranged child who holds the boundaries? How do you handle missing someone who you really shouldn’t miss? Every day something happens i wish i could talk to my mom about, but she’s not the kind of mom i can have a healthy relationship with in any capacity and with Mother’s Day just passing.. and as a mom of 2 myself it’s so heavy today. Idk

I posted recently that my coparents new girlfriend has harassed me since she began dating my sons father. I got a restraining order and took him to court. He fought tooth and nail for joint legal custody at the very least, his weekends and some midweek visits.

We live in the same school district, and now our son is playing sports. I had recently informed him of our son’s spring / summer baseball schedule as he would be responsible for about half of all the expected travel. Either to practice or a game. Simply forwarded the email, highlighted the dates he would have our son. Seems easy enough.

She (his gf) messaged me telling me that it was inappropriate and that don’t need to talk to my coparent about anything at all. I told her that he obviously needed to know when our son has practice. She never responded and mind you.. she broke the restraining order. I violated her in family court (it’s a family court matter because she’s my sons step mother i guess)

His girlfriend is sketchy with his kids, she says inappropriate things and my preschool aged son tells me that he does not like her. He said he doesn’t like her because she doesn’t like me. This bums me out a little because I’ve tried my hardest to NOT engage with her and be cordial but parallel with his dad to AVOID my son feeling like he’s in the middle.

My concern is that i want to watch my son play baseball, but i don’t want her complaining and making a big deal in front of my son because clearly she makes him uncomfortable. I had planned to go to my son’s games even if it’s his dad taking him, just to watch and support. I don’t know if i should inform him of this, but then she’ll say I’m making up excuses to reach out. If i don’t she’ll say I’m just showing up to see him.

I think I’m going to tell him if my attendance is an issue i am willing to take my son to all of his baseball commitments, because i enrolled him, bought all of the gear and paid all of the fees. I won’t penalize him for skipping out on the time and will swap times to make up for him losing his days. Is this a fair offer? And if she continues to create drama over things like my son’s sports should i file in court to have joint legal custody changed? Because it’s my legal obligation to inform him, and she’s asking me not to.