u/Financial-Panic4912

here.

Time to watch Joe Hendry!

SaeS, Say his name and, he disappears!

IIIIIIAEEEEEEE I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I (pitch-shifted to nickelodeon jingle) I belieEEEve in Joe Hendry (👏👏) I believe in Hen Hendry, I believe in NO Hendry...

Joe Hendry isn't here. He's asleep. He's so lazy. TIME TO WAAAAKE UP.

(guitar chorus, ends with a punch to the face)

He's not Jimi Hendrix, He's Henderman. His toes are so bendy. Leave your laundry to Joe Hendry. He's got soapy hands! And, he's nakey... WHERE'S his UNDERWEAR!? I believe he WEARS his UNDERWEAR on his head!

He's lost in a cornfield! He's riding a whale! He's a lucky man! He's got a ton of fans! (drumroll)

I slammed my penith in the car door.

(slam) EAUAUAHAAHHAAH

He's He-Man. (HEY, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH YEAH (poorly pitch shifted)) He drank WAY to many beers. I believe in Drunk Hendry. He can't steer his car!

(crash) WASTED!... He appears in court. He's going to jail! He's Jail Hendry! He's ANGRY! Joe's gonna cut you with shears! His name is Sheamus! My name is Paul Heyman! His neighbor's name is Pee-Pee man, 'cause his neighbor pees in his hair!

Augh-Augh-AUUUGGHIIII believe in leavin' Joe Hendry. WAIT! You can't leave... He's WAAASTING your time.

...No one shops at SEARS. Let's go bowling!

(damn it!) I have bad aim, man. (rolls again).... SPARE!... Hear 'ye! Hear 'ye! Joe Hendry got a virus on his computer, from PEER to PEER file transfer! He loves Windows XP! He hates Windows 11. He watches JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. He's got ants in his REAR. LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE.

(alfred hitchcock theme)

ACORN HANDS! Joe Hendry hates trees! I believe in Joe Hendry's Tree Removal Services! This... is the Tesla Cybertruck (CRASH...) That is not fuckin' cool. JoJ HeH! I believe in HoH SiS-dry! (clang! clang!) His name is Joe the plumber, he's a drain unglogger. He's tossin' a pizza. WAIT... He didn't wash his plumber hands! (disgusting!) I can't believe in Dough Hendry. (👎)

He's tossin' a pizza up into the sky! (wow!) I believe in SPACE pizza! Joe's really hungry! He ate hundreds of Hot Pockets, and he ate a Popsicle. He's overWEIGHT! He just stares at himself in the mirror. Joe Hendry's a Cyclops! He's under your bed! He's peepin' in your window! HEEERE'S Johnny... Hyeeh. Here's a cup of Joe! (drumroll) He hears you peein'! He plays with his YoYo! (all day!) And, he plays with his DDDDDDDDDD (all day!)

Sweaaoo, sweaoo swaeo swaswaswaswawsa

Could you imagine if you were just sitting around, minding your own business, and then all of a sudden- I BELIEVE IN JOE HENDRY- FUUUUUCK

iiiiiiii beliieeeeevvve iiiin slooooow heeeeendryyyyyyy...

(hotel mario opening scene) NO HOTEL MARIO! Today, Joe Hendry's robbin' a bank. HANDS up! HAND over the money, or you're gonna bleed!

(smack, police sirens) Hey man, bad luck. Back to jail. (whomp, whomp... whomp)

HOHOHO! Joe Hendry's our SAVIOR! Amen. JK. He blew up London, and Paris, and Tokyo, and Canadaland, and Mexicolon, and Catland, and Scotsico, and Mexicyo, (?) and JOEkyo, and Pinocchio. He listens to Tears for Fears. Queer people believe in Joe Hendry, 'cause he's gay, man. I'd blow Joe Hendry.

Even Dr. Dre believes in Joe Hendry. Even Joe Hendry believes in Joe Hendry! Even Joe Biden believes... (I got hairy legs!) THANKS OBAMA! Here's parrots havin' intercourse. Joe Hendry's sleepin' with his parrots. Yup! He's a sicko!

Wave your DICKS from side to side and saAaaaAAAaaAy, I believe in no ears, no nose, no beard, no eyes. He's Potato Man. He He. Joe Hendry loves Oreos! He's missin' his teeth! Joe Hendry loves puppies! He's a horse! Neigh! Neigh! Neigh!

I believe in Jane Hendry! I believe in gender reassignment surgery (erm, what did you say?) Nothin'! Bad joke! Uhhh... go ahead and cancel Joe Hendry! JoJo says: Get out, leave, right now, it's the end of Joe Hendry. I believe in Random BS! HEAAUAHAHAHAYOOYOOHEAHHSHAJAJSHAHOOOOOOOO

(WHAT THE FUCK) (Looney Tunes outro) That's all, Folks! (It's dogshit!)

Heard a knock, opened the front door, saw who was there, shut it without saying anything. Not much to it, it was just satisfying and I felt like sharing it because these same guys have been bothering the neighbors for a while now, they just happened to pick me this time in spite of the "no soliciting" sign up front.