u/Fine_Anywhere_991

I want to recover so bad. I want to be free from this disorder. But part of me is sad because then I’m giving up… me ? Idk I feel like this is me and I know it’s probably the disorder speaking but this has been my life for 6 years and I feel like this is who I am and my personality is all this is. Who will I even be when I recover ? I don’t even remember what I was like before my disorder. I feel like recovering will be giving up a huge part of me. And it’s like… I did all this for what? Years of my life dedicated to this disorder just to give it up like that.. all the work I put in even though it’s harmful it’s like all of these years to this was wasted ..

So my boyfriend has been talking lately about losing some weight. Not so much but like he isn’t trying to eat as much bc he’s trying to lose fat in a certain area. This has really really triggered me bc obviously my ED and I feel very competitive about it now and like everytime he tells me he ate less I just feel like I have to eat less too. I know we are no where in the same bc I have an ED and he doesn’t but idk how to even handle it. I already relapsed these past few weeks and him telling me all this just makes me want to get worse. Idk I feel so dumb and I know I shouldn’t make him feel this way but it’s just hard.

Ok so I feel like this is going to be all over the place. So my boyfriend and I (25 and 26) met on tinder. We met up and obviously got a thing going. He lived 2 hours away at the time so we were long distance for a year. I’ve now been living with him since October. I moved away from my hometown and everything I know. We lived with his mom up until January then got our own place. I’d say about maybe 11 months in we started arguing a lot. Mainly me having issues because I feel like I’m not wanted by him. Like he isn’t an obsessive person at all he doesn’t get jealous over anything, he just isn’t crazy about me, isn’t protective over me and isn’t romantic he said he’s always been that way and can’t change it. Like genuinely I feel like we’re friends who just sleep together there is no romance there is no chase on his end. Now that is how I feel loved. I want to feel like I’m the most special thing to someone. I want someone crazy about me. (Not toxic just in love with me) He said that that is toxic. My ex was so crazy over me like I was a trophy gf and going from that to feeling like I’m put last really really has been hard on me. He says it’s something I just need to accept. But idk am I crazy or don’t guys normally act crazy for girls they truly love??

I honestly feel he prioritizes his video games and hanging out with friends more than me. Like i genuinely feel like if I were to pass he wouldn't care and all he cares about is making sure he has his own time for his things in life.. He says he shows his love in other ways but idk why I jsut don't feel like he loves me. Should I trust that feeling?? Like he told me a while into dating that i originally was suppose to be a hookup. And that he "wasn't impressed with my body".

The body comment he apparently said was a joke but who jokes about that? He's also done things like call me a Tw** in the beginning of our relationship and I literally had to have a breakdown for him to understand that that wasn't right and he just through the word was "funny and didn't know it was rude". When we argue or I cry he will just sit here with a blank stare or continue to watch tv because he "doesn't know what to say".

Another big thing I should point out is I struggle very badly with an ed . it's been pretty bad on my health. He also doesn't take that seriously even tho. The doctor literally was in front of him telling me my heart was weak and my electrolytes were low and my body was failing and he still thinks it's no big deal. He tells me everything is okay and nothing bad will happen.

I guess I’m just looking for advice on all this and if I actually just depend on him and am scared to leave bc of that. These last few months I’ve been the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life. Life is so stressful and just… dull. I cry everyday I have rage and emotional outbursts everyday I’m never really happy anymore. I literally am losing so much hair and I don’t even look like me anymore I look so awful..

I just genuinely don’t know what to do. Because when I get down to it and actually think about leaving I get so sad and feel like I’ll miss him so bad and the heartbreak will be so so bad. I love him I really do but idk what to do. I would love to also go home because that is my hometown. I miss my family I miss being near everything I know. But then I lose him. Idk if I’m in love or just attached.

So I just started Zoloft yesterday. I got prescribed 25mg but I’ve been so scared to take it I’ve had it sitting on the counter for 1 month so I finally decided to do it but split in half. I have not felt anything yesterday at all. Today I took it and I am like so emotional and can’t stop crying. Like over the dumbest things. Is that like a symptom or am I just having a off day lol

I am 25 F. I’ve been so deeply depressed lately in my relationship with my 26M boyfriend and we are not compatible at all. But we obviously shared a life together for almost 2 years and live together for almost a year. He doesn’t treat me at all great, and I don’t get what I want at all from this relationship. I planned everything out and planned on moving back home talked to my parents and have it all set out. He doesn’t know yet. I have been soft launching the idea though. But going through with it I feel like I’m going to be so unbearably upset and heartbroken. Why am I like this is I’m so miserable already? Like I don’t know how to get through it. Do I just stay? Am I not really ready?

Ok so I feel like this is going to be all over the place. So my boyfriend and I met on tinder. We met up and obviously got a thing going. He lived 2 hours away at the time so we were long distance for a year. I’ve now been living with him since October. We lived with his mom up until January then got our own place. I’d say about maybe 11 months in we started arguing a lot. Mainly me having issues because I feel like I’m not wanted by him. Like he isn’t an obsessive person at all he doesn’t get jealous over anything, he just isn’t crazy about me and isn’t romantic he said he’s always been that way and can’t change it. Like genuinely I feel like we’re friends who have sex there is no romance there is no chase on his end. Now that is how I feel loved. I want to feel like I’m the most special thing to someone. I want someone crazy about me. He said that that is toxic. My ex was so crazy over me like I was a trophy gf and going from that to feeling like I’m put last really really has been hard on me. He says it’s something I just need to accept. But idk am I crazy or don’t guys normally act crazy for girls they truly love??
I honestly feel he prioritizes his video games and hanging out with friends more than me. Like i genuinely feel like if I were to die he wouldn't care and all he cares about is making sure he has his own time for his things in life.. He says he shows his love in other ways but idk why I jsut don't feel like he loves me. Should I trust that feeling?? Like he told me a while into dating that i originally was suppose to be a hookup. And that he "wasn't impressed with my body".
The body comment he apparently said was a joke but who jokes about that? He's also done things like call me a twat in the beginning of our relationship and I literally had to have a breakdown for him to understand that that wasn't right and he just through the word was "funny and didn't know it was rude". When we argue or I cry he will just sit here with a blank stare or continue to watch tv because he
"doesn't know what to say".
Another big thing I should point out is I struggle very badly with an eating disorder and it's been petty bad on my health. He also doesn't take that seriously even tho it's literally the world's deadliest mental illness. The doctor literally was in front of him telling me my heart was weak and my electrolytes were low and my body was failing and he still thinks it's no big deal. He tells me everything is okay and nothing bad will happen.
I guess I’m just looking for an opinion on all this and if I actually just depend on him and am scared to leave bc of that. These last few months I’ve been the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life. Life is so stressful and just… dull. I cry everyday I have rage and emotional outbursts everyday I’m never really happy anymore.

I'm 25F my boyfriend is 26M.
So I guess my bf has never really understood eating disorders and the severity and I understand like not everyone does. But seeing it first hand for two years you'd think he be a little more understanding and knowledgeable about it. So there's just like little things here and there that he'll say and it just dealt bothers me and I want to know if I'm just sensitive or he's just insensitive.
So he told me this not that long ago that when he first met with me he wasn't impressed with my body (I was thinner than I am now not much, but still). He says he was joking when he said that but why would you say that randomly atter two years.
Another thing he always tells me to do is workout my butt.
He says my butt "has potential" and just constantly says do your workouts.
Lastly, the things that really bother me is him not taking it seriously enough. So I had some medical problems going on form my disorder and he just says "you'll be ok" or "just eat and you'll get better". When it's not as easy to just eat as we all know. If I complain about how my body looks which is often he tells me to workout or walk or just exercise in general. I say to him that I literally don't have the energy and when I do workout | literally see stars and feel like I'm going to genuinely die and I tell him your literally not suppose to exercise in recovery at least the beginning of recovery, and he says "exercise is good for everyone you don't need to stop exercising"
Idk. I just feel like he doesn't understand it but like again you should at least maybe do some research if your partner is struggling with a deadly mental illness. That's the part where I feel he genuinely doesn't care about me at all.
Maybe I'm crazy but | just wanted some input I gues

I'm 25F my boyfriend is 26M.
So I guess my bf has never really understood eating disorders and the severity and I understand like not everyone does. But seeing it first hand for two years you'd think he be a little more understanding and knowledgeable about it. So there's just like little things here and there that he'll say and it just dealt bothers me and I want to know if I'm just sensitive or he's just insensitive.
So he told me this not that long ago that when he first met with me he wasn't impressed with my body (I was thinner than I am now not much, but still). He says he was joking when he said that but why would you say that randomly atter two years.
Another thing he always tells me to do is workout my butt.
He says my butt "has potential" and just constantly says do your workouts.
Lastly, the things that really bother me is him not taking it seriously enough. So I had some medical problems going on form my disorder and he just says "you'll be ok" or "just eat and you'll get better". When it's not as easy to just eat as we all know. If I complain about how my body looks which is often he tells me to workout or walk or just exercise in general. I say to him that I literally don't have the energy and when I do workout | literally see stars and feel like I'm going to genuinely die and I tell him your literally not suppose to exercise in recovery at least the beginning of recovery, and he says "exercise is good for everyone you don't need to stop exercising"
Idk. I just feel like he doesn't understand it but like again you should at least maybe do some research if your partner is struggling with a deadly mental illness. That's the part where I feel he genuinely doesn't care about me at all.
Maybe I'm crazy but | just wanted some input I guess.

Is it true that the recommended amount for recovery is true for everyone ? I’ve had anoreixa for five years and I’m not as low as I use to be and I’m on the higher end of underweight borderline “healthy” weight. Do I really need that recommended >!2000-2500!< for some reason my brain tells me I’m an exception and I don’t need that much and I’ll just gain and gain and gain and gain.