u/Fine_Spend9946

I feel like an absolute failure. I can’t keep up with everything anymore. I don’t want to be responsible for my husband anymore.

I just want to take my kids and crash alone with them. I don’t want to constantly be worrying about every little mess. I don’t want to feel undesired anymore.

I don’t want a divorce insult don’t want to do everything for him anymore.

ETA: yesterday I spent 2 hours deep cleaning the car, shampooed poop out the carpet twice because he was to busy playing games and ignored the dogs whine while I was in the back cleaning my toddlers bed (they had accidents). I spent the whole evening deep cleaning two bedrooms, the kids bathroom and the hallway but I was too tired to clean up the kitchen and take out the trash and he’s pissed over it. If things aren’t perfectly clean at all times he’s upset but he won’t do anything himself. He won’t help with the kids unless I beg him. When he finally does something I get the cold shoulder for days. I want to kms.

I don’t want her to. My biggest reason is simple: I just don’t want her to. My husband’s biggest argument is that it’s good for our kids to see us taking care of old people.

We’ve had her live with us for a few months at a time a few times and I just can’t do it.

She’s not particularly mean but she overbearing yet can’t make simple decisions without my approval. If she wants to cook I have to tell her what we will eat. I don’t care just make something is not really a valid answer. But she needs my approval because she doesn’t know what I’ll eat because apparently I don’t like a lot of foods. In my eyes that’s my problem and I have to feed myself if I don’t like what’s made. Like I’m an adult? I’m normally happy to eat especially if I didn’t have to cook, I am watching my calories now and she doesn’t know (not living with us yet) but I know that’s going to be a huge issue for her. She force fed me when I was pregnant with my first baby.

If I’m up late doing something like cleaning or prepping for the next day (by choice I have no qualms going to bed with a messy house) she will nag me. She’ll also get on me when I deep clean something. Sorry that dust actually gives me breathing issues and I have to remove it? Sorry I have to clean my kids smudges off the windows? Or that I want to move my couches and get rid of the crumbs? Or that I want to clean my cabinets out?

She will take over whatever I’m doing too. Folding laundry? Or sit down I’ll do it. Then proceed to fold things we like hung, fold everything inside out and then shove them in any free space not where they belong. She does this with dishes too. Doing dishes? Let me do it and will get upset that I use a dishwasher. I don’t really say anything I just try to accept the help because it would be nice to have some things taken off my plate. It’s turned into her telling everyone I’m to particular about how I like things done though.

She also goes on about how she doesn’t know how I do to all. Because I’m an adult and it needs to be done? I can’t live like this.

I just lost 28lbs (192 -> 164lbs) and I haven’t seen any of our friends in the last few weeks. I started in February and saw everyone for Easter but I’ve had the biggest visible changes happen since then.

Anyways, my husband invited his friends over tonight and only one really noticed and asked if I was okay because I look weak… once he said that everyone else noticed and it was very awkward. I get it the others didn’t want to say anything about their friends wife’s looks.

This man said it three times. You look weak! Oh she lost 30lbs (husband actually defended me). Oh wow, you look a little weak… oh she’s actually lifting. Oh.. you look weak, please eat something.

I wish I had said something or picked him up. Idk but I’m actually offended and that’s not something that normally happens. How would you react? He didn’t need to say it three times.

My husband (33) and I (30) have two over all great kids. Our oldest is 4 and youngest is 2 (June birthdays so almost there). I’ll admit these ages have been challenging especially with our oldest. She hardly slept, and screamed most of the time until she figured out talking. Now it’s contact boundary pushing and chatting. Which is her job.

My husband hasn’t enjoyed one second of being a dad. We family planned before having kids he was onboard and everything with the fact that he wanted to wait until I was30 and our fist just came a few years earlier than he wanted.

I’m not sure what to do. In my eyes I’m removing as many barriers to him parenting as I can. I handle all night duties, mornings and bedtimes. I cook 2-3 meals everyday, the house is well managed (except laundry 😅). Our daughter is in preschool now but I’m still homeschooling her (both of them to the best of my abilities) on her off days like he wants. They are in gymnastics twice a week and I take them to the library every Tuesday. I read to them minimum 20 minutes a day and we hardly use screens. I do everything but earn an income BUT I do have a pension coming in that we save. He wants to invest it but I honestly don’t want it to be touched atp for my own options.

Anyways they have their moments but are great toddlers. He won’t play with them at all. He will watch them for me when I’m desperate and need to run some errands in peace but he will ignore them the whole time. He’s ether scrolling or playing video games (he hardly used to do this and even now he maybe plays obsessively once every six months). I make sure he gets his sleep (he refuses to go to be at a decent time though) I bring him all his food (if I don’t he starves). I just don’t get it. Why can’t he just kick some balls around while I’m cooking dinner and stop feeling burdened by it.

I’m burnt out he was on board and now can’t stand it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and honestly his attitude about parenting is negatively impacting mine as well. I just want a fresh start but I know I’ll never get one.

Has anyone felt this? I do get anxious a lot but normally it’s all mental and I’m able to work through. Over the last week I’ve been physically anxious; chest tight, heart racing slightly winded over nothing.

I’ll have been in a deficit for 12 weeks this Thursday. I planned to do my last weigh loss weigh in that day then start eating maintenance on Friday for 2-3 weeks. As of last Sunday I’ve lost 27lbs. I started this 13 Feb. This is the first deficit that I’ve taken seriously.

I will say I am nervous about eating more because I don’t want to end up back where I was when I started. Despite that when I get worried mentally I am able to reason with myself with my normal methods. This physical anxiety is just very hard to get through. I can’t really get rid of it without any activity. I almost cried at the gym yesterday when I finally started coming down.

I don’t know if I’ve fallen out of love with my husband. But I just don’t feel anything anymore. The last four years have been very hard for me mainly because we had two kids close together. I’m so deeply tired and all I want to do is cry.

I’ve been with my husband for 11 years now. We met when I was 19 and he was 23. Now I’m 30, we got married four years ago. Getting married didn’t change anything but have our first child did.

I’m tired of doing every little thing for him. I tired of not being intimate and it being unsatisfying when we are. I’m tired of sitting in the same room as him to not get any responses while he scrolls. Why do I have to ask for attention every time I want to speak? I’m so sick of it. I’ve lost 25lbs and have gotten two complements. I’m tired of being invisible to him. I hate that I want someone else to notice me. That I constant think about what I would be like to be held by someone else when I’m sad. For someone to care enough to let me sleep and take over with the kids at the end of the day because I just can’t keep pushing through. I hate that I fantasize about being taken care of first in bed. I’m tired of crying and it not being seen. I’m tired of being the one making all the plans. And being the last to know when he makes any with his friends. I’m tired of not laughing anymore.

It was never like this. We used to be annoyingly on the same page and now we are even in the same book.

I doubt anyone would put up with me. I’m scatterbrained, messy, and insecure even though I try not to be. I tend to talk too much and put my foot in my mouth easily. I just want to fall back in love with my husband but I’m probably the only one that cares.