u/Fluffy-Durian7655

My Dad and I have a complicated relationship. He is a very closed off man, we have no emotional connection. I have CPTSD from my childhood as he was very verbally abusive (on the edge of physical), which I am in therapy for. He lost his father when he was 21 and his mum a couple decades later.

In 2024 my parents were mid divorce and he opened up to my mum, sister and I (26f at the time). He wrote us a letter giving us insight into why he believes he is so emotionally closed off. He wrote that when he was 9, a 16 year old babysitter raped him. I was flabbergasted and of course, devastated for my dad. It felt like a cop out however, telling us this as if it made up for years of abusive, toxic behaviour on his part. I have my own experiences of molestation as a child, which I am recovering memories of and have not shared with anyone.

Fast forward to now, over 2 years later and we have never spoken about the letter since. We live in different states, so our relationship has improved.

I’m not sure where to go from here. I’m not sure how to fully process this information. Do I bring it up with him again? I don’t think so, it took him 50 years to tell ANYONE. I feel bad that he carried that around for so long.

Any advice would be much appreciated. I have pushed this under the rug for 2 years and not sure if that’s what I should continue to do.

I (F28) was diagnosed ADHD 12 months ago with suspected Autism. Currently on Vyvanse. Is there any reason to pay for an official Autism diagnosis? Considering there’s no medication, and I don’t need NDIS. Part of me feels the assessment will be just for peace of mind confirming what I already know. I’m low income so that impacts me.

Would love some suggestions or input. I’m SEQ based.

I (F28) was diagnosed ADHD 12 months ago with suspected Autism. Currently on Vyvanse. Is there any reason to pay for an official Autism diagnosis? Considering there’s no medication, and I don’t need NDIS. Part of me feels the assessment will be just for peace of mind confirming what I already know. I’m low income so that impacts me.

Would love some suggestions or input. I’m SEQ based.

I had my thirds pierced with a gun 2 weeks ago. The metal is cheap and not long enough for swelling. No professional piercer will touch it. They’re not embedded yet so it’s okay but I’m concerned. Is it safe to change myself to a better metal (surgical steel or titanium) or do I just leave them?