u/Forsaken-Estate4041

many years ago now, my childhood cat lived to almost 21 years old. I went on a birthday trip and came home from the airport and immediately went to wake her up. She was deaf by this point and didn't hear me come in, so getting to wake her up and be greeted with this look on her face and lots of cuddles felt great after being dumped on my birthday after flying cross country during the pandemic. She always made me feel so loved and I knew she was happy to see me anytime I left the house (even to get the mail).

one of my fave outdoor cats in my neighborhood gets SO excited when you kissy kissy at him that he's just a rolling blurry blob

food: Patton's combo: oyster pattie, crawfish sack, and shrimp beignets - aka the girl dinner that haunts my dreams

When I was 19(NB, femme; identified as a woman back then) I started "dating" a 26M veteran "Jake" with major PTSD issues. He was abusive and an alcoholic and my first time having sex with someone besides my HS sweetheart (19M).

After 2.5 years, we had a messy breakup and I found out I was pregnant and it was his. At that time, I was 21 and had gotten involved with a different abusive older man (31) "Doug" and he forced an abortion. Jake blamed me and mourned the loss of "Bella" / "Isabella" including naming the "baby" and telling me repeatedly that I had ruined his chances to ever have children because I was the one and only person he could ever imagine having kids with and I'd "broken his trust by aborting our miracle" and he could never forgive me. It's ultimately what finally broke an on/off cycle of abuse.

Now I'm (31NB femme) and happily married to 33M and we're definitely not in a life stage to be having kids. I have been diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses and infertility and ultimately decided to get my tubes tied because a pregnancy could kill me (and almost did a few months before surgery). I'm also unsure with the debilitating and degenerative nature of my illnesses if kids are a good idea. I'm also adopted and was adopted by older parents with a mom who had degenerative illnesses and was essentially only adopted as a caregiver.

Now Jake (38M) is married to "Anna" (32F) and they got pregnant on their wedding night. She announced this on her public Instagram (she's an actress) and they're having a daughter and naming her Isabella, but calling her Bella. Same name.

I'm just really f-ing upset that he gets to have a DAUGHTER and name her the same name. And build this beautiful life with his wife with THE DOG WE ADOPTED. And I'm maybe never going to get to have kids. Partially as a result of complications from the forced abortion resulting in surgery. I've got severe PTSD from the relationship with him and it made it really hard to trust any romantic or sexual partner for almost a decade.

Clarifying points: I'm very happy in my marriage and it's much healthier and my spouse is totally fine with whatever outcome kids/no kids and he was aware before we got married.

What I'm upset about is that he seemingly has seen no real repercussion for his abuse including SA. And I'm honestly worried about his ability to safely and healthily raise a daughter. Especially when he's naming her the same name and was still sliding into my DMs during their engagement in 2024 (he switched numbers and I had to block the new number)

I believe in reproductive justice and the ability to access safe abortion. My experiences make this even more of a core value, not less.

I didn't go looking for this info. An old friend screenshotted his wife's profile and their wedding website and sent it to me and I wish they hadn't. I told the friend I didn't want any more info and blocked the wife's profile on Instagram so I can't look at it.

Yes, I'm talking about this in therapy. I wanted a little internet rant.

ETA: I guess I'm also really upset about my friend sending me all of this because I've tried really hard to move on from all of it. >!He stalked me for a few years after we broke up!< and I've been vigilant about blocking him on everything (like LinkedIn and Venmo) and didn't know I needed to block the wife because I didn't know she existed.