Sometimes I can’t believe that I am forced to live the rest of my life with this terrible illness. Like my one life that I get I have to have OCD. It’s just so depressing to think about sometimes. It gets hard to see better days ahead.
Finally no more being dragged into the quest by the goat in hollow woods. I hate that evil goat.
It’s so hard to get out of ocd. I can go through the motions of erp and continue to expose myself and find relief, but then when I realize I’m not anxious, I get anxious. I feel like I have to worry in order to prevent my fears from happening (harm ocd). I’ve gone through it all, but I’m just stuck at the very end.
On a more hopeful note, my therapist is starting icbt therapy for me and I feel really excited about it. I expose myself to fears in erp and rationally know these things are not a danger, but cognitively I cannot let go of the need for a for sure answer.
When I finally have a moment or even day of peace I end up testing myself to see how these thoughts make me feel (bad obviously) and see if for some reason THIS time it would be true.
If this is of any value of anyone, my best piece of advice for ocd (especially pure o) is to get bored of your thoughts. It’s hard but once you force yourself to sit with them long enough, you will get bored. Also my favorite thing is to remember that anxiety is just a feeling that you feel from the thoughts, it’s not an indication that you want anything to happen.
Sorry that this is all over the place, but if you guys have any tips to get that last foot out of the cycle of a flare up of ocd, please do let me know. I feel like I’m so close to being free.