u/Friendly_Law6110

i’m deadass starting to get so so so upset over this. i’ve applied to 40+ jobs, i’ve had two interviews and both of them ghosted me. i worked at restaurant for amount 5 months, and a retail job for 11. all of the jobs i have applied to are similar to those. the retail job i worked at was a big corporation and our main goal was to get people to sign up for a credit card. i was getting 2-4 per shift on regular week days, at least 5 during the holidays. i somewhat know how to get people to sign up for these things. isn’t that what most retail jobs want nowadays????? i just got ghosted from a retail job who practically hired me on the spot. he said “i don’t do this often but i know you’re going to be great for this company, welcome to the team” LIKE WHY DID YOU GHOST ME. i understand if companies don’t want college students because i know ill be gone within 3 months, but don’t act like you’re hiring me when you’re not ??? what’s the goddamn point of that. it’s actually so bad i had to start selling press ons nails and clothes on depop 🫩

i genuinely go to sleep almost everyday crying about my mom. every time i’m happy about something i think about what things would be like if she was still here. i miss her so much, our relationship was getting so much better. i can barely talk about her unless it’s to my sister. i just think everything is so unfair. she never saw me graduate, she doesn’t know what college i chose, she’ll never meet my boyfriend or my kids. we were supposed to do so much together and i only had her for 16 years. it’s been over two years and i almost never have dreams about her, i just want to see her again. i hate hearing things like “things happen for a reason” or “god has a plan” what fucking plan. i was 16 and she died a day before my sisters 14th birthday what plan could that possibly be apart of. there weren’t even signs it happened out of nowhere. i just want her back and talk to her

i’m just so tired of having the same conversation over and over again. i’m 19 and he’s 23. he’s genuinely a porn addict to say the least, and was watching it behind my back on multiple occasions despite me being very much against it and very vocal about the fact. it wasn’t even regular adult content with two people having intercourse. it’s like the solo twitter girls who only post on there i think. he did it so often, he was literally retweeting the stuff. it genuinely made me lose my confidence and self esteem. i don’t know why he felt the need to look at those girls when i sent him pictures when i could and i think we were pretty active in that area.

he texted me today on an app that he never even uses so i just didn’t bother blocking him on there, which was dumb i’m aware. we live and we learn after all. he texts me asking me not to block him (i did regardless) but he asked me not to because he “just wants a way to contact me every once in a while” isn’t that just so selfish, and he says what he did is a mistake. once is a mistake, twice is a choice, what does that make the fifth time? you not giving a shit anymore of what? i haven’t spoken to him in months and i don’t feel anything for him anymore i just want to be left alone. he wants to be friends, but i have made it clear many times that he’s not my friend and never will be. anyways that’s all i had to say, i just hate him so much for doing that to me over and over again.

i don’t even want to talk to my friends about it because this is just so embarrassing and humiliating. i kinda feel insecure that i don’t want my partner watching porn but i also feel it’s not that big of a request. i guess i just don’t understand because when im in a relationship i don’t want to see anyone like that except my own partner.