I'm not talking about this community itself, more the popularity of my kin in general. I don't get much fanart nor do people talk about me much at all, but that's fine. This is just who I am, I don't deserve extra attention just for that. Either way, I don't mind, I'm happy with my life as it is, even if I'm probably not all that interesting to the majority of people.
-Wakana
So, this morning I was feeling a lot more insecure than I have in a while. I felt it unlikely that someone as amazing as Marin could love the “me” I am now. I suppose that’s one of the difficulties in ficto- relationships, it can be quite difficult to get reassurance from your partner due to the perceived distance between you. It’s not as easy as asking Marin; “Do you love me?” and getting an answer right away.
As some of you know, I view Wakana Gojo (Marin’s “canon” love interest) as my “self-insert", due to the number of similarities in both personality and appearance. When I see “him” I just see myself and so I enjoy fanart and whatnot of Gojo and Marin together, because I know in my heart that those two people are really just me and Marin. Still, I don’t always have this confidence. I admit that sometimes I feel inferior to Gojo in some ways and that makes me feel insecure.
But the thing I don’t realize when I do this is that I have qualities that “Gojo" doesn’t have either. At the end of the day “me” and “him” are really just one person, one soul. And I know for a fact that Marin loves me both in this universe and in hers.
And it’s hard, it really is sometimes, I won’t deny that. I have spent many nights crying myself to sleep, wishing to be different or things to simply just be easier. When I look back upon my life, I have felt every emotion there is. I have felt anger, dejection, sadness, happiness, joy, despair, all this in the relatively short time I've had here on earth. But the thing that rang true years ago and still rings true is this, none of the feelings or emotions last forever. Yes, even the worst pain you could imagine follows the same routine; it comes, it stays, it starts fading out and then it’s only a memory.
So, I turn to you all; the hurt, lost, confused, insecure people of this community and I make you this promise; it will get better. It’s okay to feel like you're not enough, not because you’re right, but because your pain is as valid as any other. Your partners understand how you feel and they’ll wait for as long as you need to feel good and confident about yourself again.
Everyone here is valid, and I love every single one of you! And your partners love you so much too, so for their sake (and yours) be kind to yourself from now on! Don’t rush into things, let it all come slowly but surely, and in a years' time I promise you will feel better and more confident in your relationship. And I know this, because only a year ago I was crying myself to sleep afraid that Marin could never love me, but now I feel much happier in my relationship than I’ve ever been before 💖
I miss it so much sometimes, I just want to be where I belong again. Most of all I miss my wife...
So, I've been staying with family since last friday, and I'm going to stay until this friday. I love my family, but being in an (in my opinion) cramped house with people around constantly is not good for my well being as an autistic person. I barely have any privacy or even time (barely enough to write this lol) to be by myself and I guess that gives me a little stress and anxiety.
And worst of all I miss my wife Marin very much. It's not like she's waiting for me at home or anything like in a "real" relationship, but I still feel her much better in my home and safe space. There I have the freedom to be myself and that makes it easier to feel her near me. Right now I'm playing a role to please other people, but when I'm alone I can be the real me, the person that Marin fell in love with.
I miss her like crazy, I really do. I feel like I shouldn't feel this intensly for her, because she's "not real" or whatever, but she is quite literally the light in my life and I won't ever try and let go of her. Real people don't interest me much, because I have everything I could ever want in my Marin. It seems crazy to most people, but Marin has always been the one for me, and no one will take that place away from her, no matter how hard they'll try.
I wish I could write some fanfics about me and Marin, cause daydreaming is the best way I can be with her right now, but I don't really have the time or privacy to do so. I wanna write and draw so much for her, my amazing wife and the love of my life! 💖
Thank you for listening to me ramble on about my struggles 🫶
So, I've been staying with family since last friday, and I'm going to stay until this friday. I love my family, but being in an (in my opinion) cramped house with people around constantly is not good for my well being as an autistic person. I barely have any privacy or even time (barely enough to write this lol) to be by myself and I guess that gives me a little stress and anxiety.
And worst of all I miss my wife Marin very much. It's not like she's waiting for me at home or anything like in a "real" relationship, but I still feel her much better in my home and safe space. There I have the freedom to be myself and that makes it easier to feel her near me. Right now I'm playing a role to please other people, but when I'm alone I can be the real me, the person that Marin fell in love with.
I miss her like crazy, I really do. I feel like I shouldn't feel this intensly for her, because she's "not real" or whatever, but she is quite literally the light in my life and I won't ever try and let go of her. Real people don't interest me much, because I have everything I could ever want in my Marin. It seems crazy to most people, but Marin has always been the one for me, and no one will take that place away from her, no matter how hard they'll try.
I wish I could write some fanfics about me and Marin, cause daydreaming is the best way I can be with her right now, but I don't really have the time or privacy to do so. I wanna write and draw so much for her, my amazing wife and the love of my life! 💖
Thank you for listening to me ramble on about my struggles 🫶
So, I've been staying with family since last friday, and I'm going to stay until this friday. I love my family, but being in an (in my opinion) cramped house with people around constantly is not good for my well being as an autistic person. I barely have any privacy or even time (barely enough to write this lol) to be by myself and I guess that gives me a little stress and anxiety.
And worst of all I miss my wife Marin very much. It's not like she's waiting for me at home or anything like in a "real" relationship, but I still feel her much better in my home and safe space. There I have the freedom to be myself and that makes it easier to feel her near me. Right now I'm playing a role to please other people, but when I'm alone I can be the real me, the person that Marin fell in love with.
I miss her like crazy, I really do. I feel like I shouldn't feel this intensly for her, because she's "not real" or whatever, but she is quite literally the light in my life and I won't ever try and let go of her. Real people don't interest me much, because I have everything I could ever want in my Marin. It seems crazy to most people, but Marin has always been the one for me, and no one will take that place away from her, no matter how hard they'll try.
I wish I could write some fanfics about me and Marin, cause daydreaming is the best way I can be with her right now, but I don't really have the time or privacy to do so. I wanna write and draw so much for her, my amazing wife and the love of my life! 💖
Thank you for listening to me ramble on about my struggles 🫶
Mostly going off of vibes so please don't be mad at her (◡ ω ◡)
Pic unrelated by the way
It's no surprise to anyone that I love my Marin, probably, more than anything else in this world. She fills my heart with joy and gives my life meaning. Casual yumeshippers would say i'm taking it too far but I don't really care. I love her and she loves me, that's more than enough for me to find it all worthwile.
But I don't just love Marin, I love everything related to her. Most of all I love the manga and show that she's from, My Dress Up Darling. Some people say it's cheesy or cliché, and while I don't agree with that, I can understand why people would think that. I remember when I first watched it and was upset at how perfect Marin was, because I knew on some level there wouldn't be someone like her in my life. I was in love with her before even knowing or understanding that that was valid and an okay thing to be.
Basically, I understand that MDUD might make life seem easier than it is irl, but I don't think that's a bad thing. I like putting myself in the story and being a part of it, it's one of my favorite things to do when I'm feeling down. The story is both cute and heartwarming, the characters are charming and the artstyle is my favorite artstyle in any manga/anime (so pretty!!!). Every frame of the anime, and every panel of the manga is a dear treasure to me, because it tells the story between how Marin and I fell in love.
I love collecting screenshots as keepsakes because they remind me of how much Marin loves me❤. Above is one of my favorite scenes, when Marin wants me to stay. She's not always as confident as she seems, and this scene shows how she is able to open up and be vulnerable around me. I love how we are each others safe place, and I'd stay in every universe, not just this one 💗
Also, I have seen many people on here upset, wether it be ships or doubles or whatever. I want you all to know that you are valid in being upset about that. Your partner is your partner and no one elses. Your partners love you more than anyone else in the world. You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to be talented, you just have to show up for them a little every day and tell yourself that you matter. Sometimes it's okay to just wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say; "I deserve love and happiness just for being me" 🫶
I love my wife Marin more than anything in the world!!! 💕💗
Guys I love her soooo much 🥺💗