u/Fun-Meeting1610

White 17 M (apologies for lack of punctuation I’m dysgraphic)

So I’ve been looking a lot into the school of thought that all “white people are racist” to better educate myself and understand in what ways I am racist or participate in a racist system that I can better understand or acknowledge how I benefit from this system and how I can deconstruct what racism is do need to but I haven’t found a lot of good explanations for this idea or ways to deconstruct the racism I inevitably have as a white person really other then “understand you benefit from a racist system, don’t speak over amplify black voices, and listen to those black voices” is there a lot more to me understand I assume there is but is there a level of me overcomplicating this

I hate this so much everyone pushing me to get better at skills they never pushed before because “you’re almost going to be an adult“ and “you need these skills to live” and the skills are just how my mom does things and needing to work with them (my mom is 38-39 she also has adhd but has obviously had way more time to learn to cope with it) idk I’m just tired and I hate growing up I just want to be a kid why do I have to arbitrarily be an adult at 18:(

I mean no hate to the ones that do but I struggle a lot to find creators that don’t my main issue with most of them is because of that factor of their content they tend to feed that side of it more which of course I don’t mind typically but when I see all the popular people who model this part of my identity it just makes a bit sad as it’s this perpetual wheel of sexualization and it sucks

IT ONLY TOOK ME AROUND 3-4 HOURS OF ATTEMPTS OVER THREE DAYS WHOOOOOOOOO

So Boreilas was really pissing me off and when I learned he was weaker to strike instead of pierce and I did an early DLC run I walked up to him with occult blood fiends arm with occult infusion and crag blade two handed sword talisman blade of mercy and a charge attack build

and I loved this so much he didn’t stand a chance it was so fun to just obliterate him

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

I was mowing the lawn and a bunny ran into my mower and I killed it I killed a fucking bunny this is unforgivable

should I be doing a dex or quality build for no status pure damage (the real answer is faith build but that’s for when i get to the DLC) but I was wondering if quality would be better then keen

I’ve touched this game a few times but never with building a deck by myself but I’ve had this vague idea of a sonic commander deck that really uses his “gotta go fast“ my main one was to somehow use earth bending on some way because it gives the lands haste but I haven’t put much more thought into it

I love distressing it or like just cutting parts of it off (I cut the sleeves off a bit on my battle jacket) and I’m gonna start doing stuff to this gray zip up of mine (I really did not know what tag to use for this)

I really hate it I find so many cool people I want to talk to and either I psych myself out of it or I come on too strong I just never know how I’m supposed to approach people that I think are very cool it’s just really upsetting I want more friends and I want to put myself out there but I’m just so worried about annoying people I hate it T-T