u/GeneralOtter03

So I’m part of a sub with a big spoiler problem but there are only 2 mods who both are pretty inactive so nothing gets done about it. There have been multiple people saying they wouldn’t mind moderating the sub

I joined this sub a few days ago and love WHA but this sub has a huge issue with spoilers.

Most people here do a great job spoilermarking but then there are those who simply don’t care. I have told many to spoiler mark their posts/replies but few of those who ”forget” actually spoilermarks it after they have been asked to do so.

I have seen many minor spoilers in comments and titles here and there which I don’t like but doesn’t bother me much but I got really upset when I saw a post earlier today where someone just posted a picture of an important side character having a spell drawn on their body without spoiler marking it.

This is unacceptable and unfortunatly changed how I see the character before I was supposed to change opinions on them.

So I want to ask everyone here what you think of the spoiler problem in this sub?

I would also like to request the Mods to expand their mod team (preferably over multiple timezones). I understand it’s not your fault that this happened but currently there are only 2 of you and I reported the post over 6 hours ago and nothing has been done about it yet.

Just curious if people watch and/or read Witch Hat Atelier. If you read the manga and are not up to date, please share what chapter you’re on :3
Im on chapter 41

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Like when closing the circle of one spell, another spell in another location activates? Maybe by using some similar signs used by a windowway?

Like is it easy for you to know if it’s a crush or just a fixation on a (new) friend?
Does it effect your life much?
Like how obsessed do you get?
Can you do other things or does your whole life revolve around them?
Has the intensity been similar for different crushes or has it changed over time?
Does it give you anxiety?
How easy would you say it is for your brain to develop a crush?
Like does it just happen randomly or does it take a lot for it to develop?
How do you react if it’s onesided? (Rejection or ways of knowing without talking about it)

These are just some questions, no need to answer all of them and feel free to answer anything related to the topic even if it isn’t related to a specific question above.

Last summer a friend called me condescending because she tried to correct me and I said she was wrong and when I gave her a source she got even more angry at me.

I don’t really understand this because I don’t see myself as better or worse than anyone else. I just want facts to be correct even if I’m the one who’s wrong

TLDR at the bottom of this post

Okej so I want to know what you think of this, am I just overreacting or even in the wrong or is the other person in the wrong? (I have already talked with a friend who thought the other person was rude but I partially just want to vent some more because it really botheres me and partly want more opinions)

Background information:
I’m nonbinary (agender) amab somewhere on the asexual spectrum (it goes a bit back and forth, sometimes I think I’m definitely ace while sometimes I think I am not)
I wouldn’t say I’m in the closet because it’s not that I’m afraid/anxious of telling people, I just don’t think it’s any of their business (especially strangers) unless they need to know (for example if it’s relevant to a conversation or if there is romantic interest). I especially don’t like talking about being nonbinary with people who I don’t think will understand even if they are accepting because I don’t want to be put in any third category, my gender is nonexistent and I don’t want it to influence how people see me.
I am more likely to talk about me being queer with people who have the same/similar labels because I like to talk to people I relate to but other than that I rarely even talk about it with other queer people.
I am definitely not ”masculine” but I understand that people think I’m cishet (especially since I don’t correct them)
I’m also dyslexic (which is also relevant to the rant)
Also a quick disclaimer; it was a while back so some details may not be 100% accurate but I’ll do my best

So a few months ago I got invited to one of my best friends gamenight (I met the person the rant is about last Thursday which made me feel upset again). She had many of her friends (mostly but not exclusively queer and/or neurodivergent) over who I didn’t know and some of us including me wanted to play Jackbox while others including my friend wanted to play another game in another room.

So while playing quiplash (one of the jackbox games) I misspelled the word ”grinder” (as in the dating app) and one of the people there (let’s call her A) said immediately ”so that’s clearly written by a straight person” (I don’t remember exactly what she said but it was something like that). I said that I’m dyslexic and she then asked ”so you’re not straight?” and when I didn’t really know what to say and after like 2 seconds started to hesitantly saying no she mockingly said ”ehh nooo I’m not straight” (implying that I was straight but didn’t want to admit it or something like that).

First of like I said I’m dyslexic. She has no right to know my identity and shouldn’t assume stuff about someone she doesn’t know. I also remember getting really annoyed that she had the ”either you’re gay or straight” mentality (I dont remember if it was just because she correctly assumed I don’t use grinder or if she said something more). I don’t even use dating apps so I wouldn’t know even if I were gay. I also think it’s really damaging to make fun of someone’s identity even if you think thay are straight, first of because it’s just counter productive and double standards, secondly even if you blame straight people for queerphobia it’s not that particular straight person’s fault and lastly what if she said that to someone who was in the process of figuring out their identity and being really insecure about it.

I don’t care if she’s queer, she’s just disrespectful and privileged for assuming everyone will be comfortable with being open about their identity (I’m from a small town where I have never seen a single pride flag in public before so it may also be part of why I don’t like openly speaking about it with strangers)

When my friends invited people over for bbq last Thursday she was there again which made me feel really uncomfortable and upset

I haven’t talked with my friend about it but am considering to talk to her about it next time we meet

TLDR: someone wrongly assumed I was straight and mocked me for not knowing what to say when she directly asked me (I think it’s personal so don’t like talking to strangers about it)

Like if you’re tiered or overstimulated? Do you intentionally or unintentionally just drop the mask? I have recently done it more and more but the problem is that I don’t know if I’m just pretending or if it’s genuinely me even though it feels natural

Exempel/rant:
Last week I was invited by 2 of my friends to a bbq and gamenight. Because of the advertised gamenight and that I know one of my friends friendgroup a bit I thought it would be mostly neurodivergent people there but I was wrong because my other friend invited a bunch of people who felt more neurotypical. There never were any games because ”people where in a talking mood” and there were more people than I expected to I slowly became more and more overstimulated and got tired really quick. When I was gonna get a blanket because it was cold outside and I wanted to get away bit I got asked if I could show one of the other guests where my friends apartment was so she could charge her phone. I showed her but on the way she tried to small talk with me and I was just to tiered to care so I just dropped the mask entirely and just answered her questions without really asking them back because I didn’t really care, eventually she started answering her own questions and probably thought I was being rude. Afterwards I thought I behaved really autistic in that situation (don’t really know how to describe it). I at first didn’t know if it was genuine or me ”faking”/exagerating, but it felt really natural even though it’s not how I normally behave. Because it’s not how I normally am I don’t know if that or ”normal me” is me preforming. Also I don’t know if I was being rude or not. I know she was just trying to be friendly but I maybe wasn’t very friendly back 🥲

Edit: I may have worried to much. I genuinely thought people here would call me rude even if most people here probably can relate XD

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