u/General_Scientist636

I logged into my online banking app to check my account as I do every two days and my heart stopped—2/3 of my money was missing. I looked through transactions and two days ago, a massive (like multiple thousands of dollars) debit went to a “PayPal purchase.” I obviously didn’t make that purchase and I do not have a PayPal account affiliated with that bank account. Called my bank immediately—all they could do was tell me that the payment was made through “online banking” and that they would file a claim. They have 45 days to review the claim—during which, I wouldn’t get any of that money back. The bank froze that account and I had to open a new account where I transferred what is left of my money to.

I filed a police report. I’m trying to file a claim with PayPal which so far has been impossible to do because the payment was not made through a PayPal account.

I asked my bank how this could happen—this amount of money being debited without any sort of approval. They said it could happen if someone had my bank account number, routing number and address.

I find this terrifying. I may not be able to pay my bills and I may not see this money again. Has anyone experienced anything similar?

I’ve changed all passwords, etc

I was reviewing my online banking statement as I do every two days and my heart dropped—a massive (many thousands) of dollar payment to PayPal that I never authorized. I called my bank and since the payment apparently made through online banking, they are opening a fraud claim with PayPal. The amount was 2/3 of the total money in my account. My bank account has been frozen and the bank told me they have 45 days to investigate the claim…but in the meantime, that money is not available to me. I’m trying to also officially file a claim with PayPal but since the payment was not affiliated with my PayPal account, I can’t submit a claim anywhere. I’ve been on hold with them for an hour trying to speak with a human. Has anyone experienced anything like this??

I’ll be starting tretinoin in the next few days and I wanted to get recs for moisturizers, exfoliants, and skin tints/foundations. My skin leans a bit dry to start. For foundations, I’m currently working my way through the hourglass skin veil, which sits a little heavy on my skin and tends to pill after a few hours of wear.

…and he’s looking to me for emotional support.

My (46F) “it could never happen to us” story started three years ago when ex (53) out of the blue said he wanted a separation—refused suggestion of couples therapy, wanted out immediately. Blamed me for isolating him, for making him feel unloved, for living a life without passion. I was devastated and terrified—we have a child with special needs. I did most of the caregiving (worked from home) and was the main breadwinner.

What really happened—a younger, childless former employee started showing interest in him. Couple that with turning 50…midlife crisis.

He spent THOUSANDS of our money on lavish gifts and vacations before I found out. The depths of his lies to try to cover it up were mind blowing.

After a few months of complete emotional numbness, I started rebuilding—intensive therapy, reconnected with friends and family, restarted an old hobby, pursued a higher paying job to support myself and, most importantly, focused on my kid. I started dating someone 1.5 years ago and we have a slow, nice relationship that’s built around the fact that our children are our priority.

Ex spent all his time pursuing his affair partner, who started pulling away when his money dried up (she wanted to quit her job to become a Pilates instructor and have him support her). Affair partner consumed his life—our son became an after thought. He lost one job. Made no effort to connect with friends or family.

Now, she’s dumped him. What friends he has left are done with him because they’ve been telling him for years to get rid of her.

He now has the audacity to try to get emotional support from me. He started sending texts like “Am I unlovable?” Or “Am I a broken man?” When I shut those down by suggesting he talk to friends or a therapist, he started escalating by suggesting self harm (which was extraordinarily triggering for me because our son has had two attempts). I called his sister after that but made it clear to both of them that I was not going to be his caregiver. He recently manufactured a cancer scare, both to gain sympathy and to get out of a few custody days because he wanted to attempt to reconcile with AP.

I can’t believe I was married to this person for 20 years.

Hope this is ok to post—I’m looking for help on how to support my 18 y/o autistic son. He asked me for advice on how to initiate a text conversation, and the advice I gave him fell flat, lol. He’s genuinely a great conversationalist—asks good questions, listens really actively. But he doesn’t know how to start a text conversation with friends. I suggested he lead with a general question (“how’s your summer going?”) or ask a question related to that person’s interest. He wasn’t comfortable with those suggestions and was concerned about coming across as “pushy” or “awkward.” I’d love any advice I can give him on how to initiate text conversations or even how he should be thinking about texting.

Am I venting? Do I need advice? I’m not sure but I think I’m “crashing out” as my son would say…

Partner (52m) and I (47 f) have been together 3 years. We maintain seperate houses and each have two teens (him: 17m, 15F; me: 16m, 14m).

Partner just cancelled our longstanding (and rare!) date night tomorrow—he thought it would be “easier on the kids” if he kept them an extra night.

This happens a lot, in different forms. Cancelled plans so he can give the kids a ride some place. No contact for days because he’s so busy with the kids.

And when I bring it up, it’s the same response: “I don’t know what to say—the kids always come first.” How can you argue with that, right? (I mean, I’ve tried by expressing that there needs to be a little space for me too, and that gets “I’m under so much pressure.”).

I know kids come first. And they should. And maybe I need to temper my expectation. But right now, this really hurts.