u/Glittering-Work-6689

How do you manage cat care when you travel internationally for longer periods? I’m looking for better options than having a sitter drop in once a day, because it breaks my heart to leave our cat alone at home for days and nights at a time.

For those of you in Auckland who travel regularly, what arrangements have worked best for you? Do you use live-in house sitters, have someone stay overnight, use a cattery, or have another setup that works well?

Also, my cat absolutely prefers to be at home. She loves humans but does not like other cats or dogs at all.

I’d love to hear what other cat owners do, especially for trips of one to three weeks.

39(F) - I was a product manager for banking applications. Not exactly a tech question but I would like the women in tech community to understand my situation and give me some perspective.

I lost my father in early this year - came back from the funeral and management did not waste a day to tell me that I’m laid off due to budget issues. I worked there for many years. But I’m married and we are doing quite okay until I find my next one and honestly I’m loving my break as I could definitely use it to recover from the grief and also give my self some time off.

I was laid off once during covid also but I never told my parents then. But this year since it’s just my mother, I was able to spend some time at home with the free time I had so I told her I’m not working at the moment and she was quite okay with that. Now suddenly since last 2 weeks she is making a big fuss saying that she constantly thinks about my job issue etc (she is an over-thinker and wants her kids to be this perfect model) and even after repeatedly saying that not to concern herself about it, she has also gone and told my elder brother that I do not have a job. Where she swore to secrecy that she will not tell anyone what I told her in confidence. And then my brother started calling me constantly asking me if I found a job yet etc ( I work abroad and I usually get a high pay than him - where at times he has googled my salary scale and showed my mother to show her I have so much money (in a jealous tone) he has not factored in the cost of living though )

Now yesterday her blood pressure ran up-to 200 and my bother calls me up and says that mom must have been thinking about my job issue for that to happen. I was super pissed at my mom for letting my brother know about my personal detail I raised hell with her and she was like “noo it’s not a big deal” etc. But when the time came he used my situation to stab me saying that it’s my issue that caused her the health issue.

I was super mad yesterday at everyone. I called my mother and she said my brother is crazy and that thinking about my issue has nothing to do with her BP. After reassurance multiple times that “I’m OK and that I have enough savings to last more than a year” she still holds on to the bone of me not having a job and I’m seriously starting to resent ever telling my mother anything. And also on top of that my brother using that privileged information to hold me accountable for her health has made me so disappointed at both of them when I explicitly told my mother not to share that information with anyone.

How can I deal with this issue going forward? I would truly appreciate any thoughts, comments, advice etc. Thank you.

What makes it worse is that, my father was my backbone and he was the one who truly understood me, defended me. And that person is no more.

Also My brother is a medical doctor and is well off with even couple of real estates. Irony is he thinks tech is a golden ticket. 🎫 And that we got it real easy and have comfortable lives while doing “less”.

Edit as I see a misunderstanding is looping: I do not live with my mom or at my parent’s house. I live overseas. I spent time with my mom during April after getting laid off as my father passed away and she is alone.

39(F) - I was a product manager for banking applications and laid off last March.

I also lost my father in early this year - came back from the funeral and management did not waste a day to tell me that I’m laid off due to budget issues. I worked there for many years. But I’m married and we are doing quite okay until I find my next one and honestly I’m loving my break as I could definitely use it to recover from the grief and also give my self some time off.

I was laid off once during covid also but I never told my parents then. But this year since it’s just my mother, I was able to spend some time at home with the free time I had so I told her I’m not working at the moment and she was quite okay with that. Now suddenly since last 2 weeks she is making a big fuss saying that she constantly thinks about my job issue etc (she is an over-thinker and wants her kids to be this perfect model) and even after repeatedly saying that not to concern herself about it, she has also gone and told my elder brother that I do not have a job. Where she swore to secrecy that she will not tell anyone what I told her in confidence. And then my brother started calling me constantly asking me if I found a job yet etc ( I work abroad and I usually get a high pay than him - where at times he has googled my salary scale and showed my mother to show her I have so much money (in a jealous tone) he has not factored in the cost of living though )

Now yesterday her blood pressure ran up-to 200 and my bother calls me up and says that mom must have been thinking about my job issue for that to happen. I was super pissed at my mom for letting my brother know about my personal detail I raised hell with her and she was like “noo it’s not a big deal” etc. But when the time came he used my situation to stab me saying that it’s my issue that caused her the health issue.

I was super mad yesterday at everyone. I called my mother and she said my brother is crazy and that thinking about my issue has nothing to do with her BP. After reassurance multiple times that “I’m OK and that I have enough savings to last more than a year” she still holds on to the bone of me not having a job and I’m seriously starting to resent ever telling my mother anything. And also on top of that my brother using that privileged information to hold me accountable for her health has made me so disappointed at both of them when I explicitly told my mother not to share that information with anyone.

How can I deal with this issue going forward? I would truly appreciate any thoughts, comments, advice etc. Thank you.

Edit: What makes it worse is that, my father was my backbone and he was the one who truly understood me, defended me. And that person is no more.

Edit 2: My brother is a medical doctor and is well off with even couple of real estates. Irony is as one person commented below, he thinks tech is a golden ticket. 🎫 And that we got it real easy and have comfortable lives while doing “less”.

I lost my father in early this year - came back from the funeral and management did not waste a day to tell me that I’m laid off due to budget issues. I worked there for many years. I’m in tech so it’s difficult to find the next job these days. But I’m married and we are doing quite okay until I find my next one and honestly I’m loving my break as I could definitely use it to recover from the grief and also give my self some time off.

I was laid off once during covid also but I never told my parents then. But this year since it’s just my mother, I was able to spend some time at home with the free time I had so I told her I’m not working at the moment and she was quite okay with that. Now suddenly since last 2 weeks she is making a big fuss saying that she constantly thinks about my job issue etc (she is an over-thinker and wants her kids to be this perfect model) and even after repeatedly saying that not to concern herself about it, she has also gone and told my elder brother that I do not have a job. Where she swore to secrecy that she will not tell anyone what I told her in confidence. And then my brother started calling me constantly asking me if I found a job yet etc ( I work abroad and I usually get a high pay than him - where at times he has googled my salary scale and showed my mother to show her I have so much money (in a jealous tone) he has not factored in the cost of living though )

Now yesterday her blood pressure ran up-to 200 and my bother calls me up and says that mom must have been thinking about my job issue for that to happen. I was super pissed at my mom for letting my brother know about my personal detail I raised hell with her and she was like “noo it’s not a big deal” etc. But when the time came he used my situation to stab me saying that it’s my issue that caused her the health issue.

I was super mad yesterday at everyone. I called my mother and she said my brother is crazy and that thinking about my issue has nothing to do with her BP. After reassurance multiple times that “I’m OK and that I have enough savings to last more than a year” she still holds on to the bone of me not having a job and I’m seriously starting to resent ever telling my mother anything. And also on top of that my brother using that privileged information to hold me accountable for her health has made me so disappointed at both of them when I explicitly told my mother not to share that information with anyone.

How can I deal with this issue going forward? I would truly appreciate any thoughts, comments, advice etc. Thank you.

Edit: What makes it worse is that, my father was my backbone and he was the one who truly understood me, defended me. And that person is no more.

39(F) - I was a product manager for banking applications. Not exactly a tech question but I would like the women in tech community to understand my situation and give me some perspective.

lost my father in early this year - came back from the funeral and management did not waste a day to tell me that I’m laid off due to budget issues. I worked there for many years. But I’m married and we are doing quite okay until I find my next one and honestly I’m loving my break as I could definitely use it to recover from the grief and also give my self some time off.

I was laid off once during covid also but I never told my parents then. But this year since it’s just my mother, I was able to spend some time at home with the free time I had so I told her I’m not working at the moment and she was quite okay with that. Now suddenly since last 2 weeks she is making a big fuss saying that she constantly thinks about my job issue etc (she is an over-thinker and wants her kids to be this perfect model) and even after repeatedly saying that not to concern herself about it, she has also gone and told my elder brother that I do not have a job. Where she swore to secrecy that she will not tell anyone what I told her in confidence. And then my brother started calling me constantly asking me if I found a job yet etc ( I work abroad and I usually get a high pay than him - where at times he has googled my salary scale and showed my mother to show her I have so much money (in a jealous tone) he has not factored in the cost of living though )

Now yesterday her blood pressure ran up-to 200 and my bother calls me up and says that mom must have been thinking about my job issue for that to happen. I was super pissed at my mom for letting my brother know about my personal detail I raised hell with her and she was like “noo it’s not a big deal” etc. But when the time came he used my situation to stab me saying that it’s my issue that caused her the health issue.

I was super mad yesterday at everyone. I called my mother and she said my brother is crazy and that thinking about my issue has nothing to do with her BP. After reassurance multiple times that “I’m OK and that I have enough savings to last more than a year” she still holds on to the bone of me not having a job and I’m seriously starting to resent ever telling my mother anything. And also on top of that my brother using that privileged information to hold me accountable for her health has made me so disappointed at both of them when I explicitly told my mother not to share that information with anyone.

How can I deal with this issue going forward? I would truly appreciate any thoughts, comments, advice etc. Thank you.

Edit: What makes it worse is that, my father was my backbone and he was the one who truly understood me, defended me. And that person is no more.

Edit 2: My brother is a medical doctor and is well off with even couple of real estates. Irony is as one person commented below, he thinks tech is a golden ticket. 🎫 And that we got it real easy and have comfortable lives while doing “less”.

Edit 3: To everyone asking - yes I’m of Asian descent. Thank you making me feel less alone 😭

I lost my corporate job early this year and only have $ 75,143 in an investment account, which I have to pay for another 7 years (a 5-figure amount each year). My husband has $70000 in cash, which we can use. This is us after almost 7 years of working, paying rent, international travel, etc.

We have no loans or debt, and we are 40 years old. I had a few career breaks here and there due to COVID, layoffs, etc and I feel that if we do not have enough saved. We travelled a lot internationally as a couple, and now I wonder if we have spent too much on them. But what do you think of our savings? We both work in Tech. We do not have kids; we have a cat; we do not own a house or a car because the country we live and work in does not allow foreigners working to purchase any of those, so all the money is either in savings or in investment accounts. I honestly feel we do not have enough. Especially since I do not have a job now and we are living on my husband's salary alone.

My question is: have we saved enough, or should we have done more

We always had a friend staying over at our place when we went on holidays and we paid her. But unfortunately she had to move due to work. Now we are thinking of having a sitter drop by twice a day. Would that be enough? We are worried she would miss having a stay in person..Because we are usually gone for international travel for around 10 days.Our RB is 1 years of age.

How do you manage? And also how is the mood when you get back?