u/Golden-lillies21

Would you be okay with the idea of never being able to hold hands in public because it makes them feel uncomfortable? Or do you need some sort of PDA to feel like they care? Would you break up with someone because they don't like PDA or have you dated someone who didn't like PDA and you ended up breaking it off with them? If you did break it off with them when did you know that it was too much for you even though you respected their boundaries?

I started to realize more about researching Alexandra that she had some chronic illnesses and apparently I heard that even though they say that women cannot have hemophilia that they can have symptoms. She also had heart problems I believe and some other ailments where sometimes she would be in bed or be put in a wheelchair especially in her last couple months. I'm pretty sure finding out that Alexei had hemophilia she was devastated and constantly worried about him having a hemophilic episode that could cause him serious harm. That certainly did not help and maybe over time it worsened her conditions.

So I had the surgery along with a laparoscopic surgery for endometriosis which confirmed endometriosis. I still don't regret getting my tubes removed but I'm still experiencing soreness and pain especially in the bladder area. I had my surgery at the end of July and I thought that the pain should have been gone by now. But it wasn't terrible until yesterday was the worst flare up I ever had! I was in bed yesterday because I was in so much pain but also I had a lot of pain and my pelvic area that was also really bad flare up. Is it normal to feel pain still after over a month?

I think this is another reason why I'm starting to lose interest in sex because there's many guys not all guys that don't care about my safety as a woman with catching STDs. I had my tubes removed to not have kids but I ever have sex again I'm not going to disclose that right away because then they will feel more entitled to try to get me and pressure me into having sex with them without a condom because I can't get pregnant anyway according to them. My chances of getting pregnant is rare to none........If I have sex again I want to feel like the man respects me not just in the bedroom but outside of the bedroom as well! Deep down inside I'm still hopeless romantic but yet my trust for many guys have went down significantly due to my traumas of r*pe/SA. It's gotten to the point where I don't even trust therapist because the therapist that I trusted told me that I wasn't raped and that I could have done more to prevent it it completely shattered me into pieces. After that I fired her as my therapist because I could not trust her anymore.

I'm just burned out to the Core and even though I know that not all men are the same I rather protect myself and my sanity. I went through a breakup a few months ago and ever since then I lost the ability to trust people. I don't even want to go through yet another failed relationship and I gave up on wanting marriage because most guys have commitment issues anyway and even if there was a chance of getting married how do I know that guy is not wearing a mask and then he changes right out of the blue after marriage? I'm tired of being guilt tripped, manipulated and love bombers. I'm tired of going on dates not knowing if I really am interested in them or not. At least with being single I don't have to worry about these things and I can take myself out on dates and do what I want without people expecting things out of me because they paid for me. I'm burned out and also another thing I lost interest in sex because of how traumatic my breakup was as he completely blindsided me I thought it was building something with him and he was committed towards only me only to find out he was still on dating apps talking to other women and then revealing to me on Mother's Day that he used me as a rebound and that he was never in love with me but just like the idea of me when I told him from day one if you do not want a commitment do not go on a date with me. I feel completely shattered where I just cannot trust most men. I want to be able to trust and love again but I don't think I have it in me to do that and I'm not sure if I ever will. I'm thinking maybe I should either be single for a while or maybe even single permanently does anyone feel the same way?

I went on this date with this guy and I wasn't sure after the date if I was truly feeling the date but then time passed when he had things going on in his life and during that time I realized that I really did not have any feelings for him and then he asked me out on a date last week and I told him no. I was hoping that maybe things have faded and that he was moving on but he didn't really move on. I should have spoken up after the date was over to let him know instead of just assuming that he moved on. I will never do that again I will be authentic if I'm just not feeling anything for that person I'll let them know after the date instead of just hoping that things just faded out.

You end up hurting that person even more instead of just being honest from the very beginning. Also my advice would be also to don't go on more dates with someone that you're not attracted to and just don't have any feelings for them. Maybe sometimes feelings can grow but that's not everyone. Nip it in the butt! I regret being a coward and not speaking up earlier so don't make the same mistake as me! If someone cannot handle rejection well then that is a reflection on them because you cannot control how somebody feels only you can control how you feel and be honest. But if they're disrespectful and try to break your boundaries definitely block them!

I didn't want to go ghost him or anything like that but I truly did not think it would be fair for us to have a friendship when I don't have feelings for this person but they do. I was afraid that this guy was going to use the Friendship to try to get me to date him and I'm just plainly not interested for my own personal reasonings. I just don't feel a romantic connection with him. At first we both agreed that we would hang out only once in a while but then the more I thought about it I realized that it wouldn't be healthy and especially since he took it really hard. I told him a couple days after that through text message that I think it wouldn't be a good idea for us to stay friends at all and go our separate ways but that I also wish him the best and blocked him after that. I just didn't want to hear any further feedback. I didn't want to go ghost him and I feel like he at least deserved to be made aware of this.

I have been seeing my partner for a couple of months and next year I am planning on going to his country. We are arranging it together and we are both saving money. Although what exact time I am coming it depends. I am excited but yet nervous to have sex with him and spending time with him. It will be great to finally being on the same time zone even if it is for a week. I would be lying if I don't think about our first encounter and I am pretty sure he does too. Cuddling in bed with him, kissing him would be nice to, having a meal together and spending some time together in public as well. How was your first time with your long distant partner was like? Was it what you were expecting, more or not really?

I have been seeing my partner for a couple of months and next year I am planning on going to his country. We are arranging it together and we are both saving money. Although what exact time I am coming it depends. I am excited but yet nervous to have sex with him and spending time with him. It will be great to finally being on the same time zone even if it is for a week. I would be lying if I don't think about our first encounter and I am pretty sure he does too. Cuddling in bed with him, kissing him would be nice to, having a meal together and spending some time together in public as well. How was your first time with your long distant partner was like? Was it what you were expecting, more or not really?

Did you feel with the distance it was easier to ease it in? I told the person I am dating long distance at least a month or two after we started dating that I was going to have a bisalp. He met me with nothing but support and he spoke to me everyday after surgery and always asked how I was doing or if I was okay. Sometimes he was really busy sometimes but it didn't stop him from texting or video chatting me. Although we did talk about when we first started dating that we both did not want children. Me and my partner do have plans to visit each other next year. I wish he wasn't so far away as I live in America and he lives in England. But I like him for who he is, he's always patient and when I have a concern about something he meets it with absolute care. I feel like he brings the Best in Me and I want to be the same for him. I couldn't imagine having a partner that will get mad at me for having surgery to be sterilized and I have not even told my parents...... I just feel like they don't need to know and plus since my insurance paid for it who cares?

I had a guy claim that he would still want to be my friend if things did not work out between us. But the minute I told him that I was not interested in going on another date due to a major turnoff that I am not going to mention, he got upset and wanted to keep me at arm's length. What happened to the oh I'll still be your friend even if things don't work out between us? He was not very consistent that's another reason and I felt like something was off as well as something was missing. So when he asked me out on a second date a couple months later I told him no. He got mad and said Oh I thought we could be something but I just assumed that since he was inconsistent and I only heard from him once in awhile that he moved on because I eventually did. I don't have an issue with a guy not wanting to be my friend after I changed my mind but it's like why would you promise to stay friends even if things don't work out but the minute I change my mind and decided that I don't want to date you or go on any more days you don't want to do that anymore? There are some men that still are okay with being friends with their exes and friends with people that they previously went on dates with I'm not talking about those men. But I'm talking about the ones that promised that they would be your friend but then they would cut you off and put you at arm's length. I'm starting to see that those guys are not really your friends and they never cared about you they just cared about getting into a relationship with you rather than being a friend. I'm okay with a guy saying that he doesn't want to be my friend after that but don't go promising that we would still be friends when you know in your mind you would not be friends with me if for some reason I don't want to date you or I change my mind about going on dates with you for whatever reason.

I get it I know that people go through things but then they just disappear without an explanation and don't even say hey I need some space for a little bit I'm going through some stuff and they just keep me in the dark I lose interest in that person as I just assumed that they lost interest in me. Once they ghost me I never let them back in again. I almost took a ghost or back who ghosted me after the first date and then he ghosted me again for a week and I completely lost interest after ghosting me for a week and then asking me if we were still going to go on a date, that's a hard NO!

There's a lot of people that say that it is the most effective way to be infertile once you get your tubes removed but then there's some people telling me that they've heard stories of people getting pregnant and they say wow it is rare it still happens. I regret not telling my endometriosis specialist who found stage 3 to also do a hysterectomy but keeping my ovaries. The only reason why I didn't do it was because I wasn't ready to go into menopause and even if I were to keep my ovaries some people told me that I would go into menopause a few years faster than I would not having a hysterectomy. I just want to make sure there are completely zero chances of me getting pregnant. I don't really have a partner but I'm still worried about it but at least my chances of not getting pregnant is significantly higher!

How long do you tell them it's like you don't want to tell them right away but then you don't want to wait too long either. How did they take it when you told them? If I get a partner I want to be able to be honest with them about having the procedure done but if I tell them right off the bat they will try to pressure me into having sex without a condom because they will use the excuse like oh well you can't get pregnant anyway but then you wait a while and then they say oh why didn't you tell me. When did you knew it was the right time to tell them?

So my mom knew about my laparoscopic surgery but what she doesn't know is that I also got my tubes removed so my chances of being Child free would be higher although there are rare cases where you can still get pregnant but it doesn't happen often. Through the laparoscopic surgery they discovered that I had stage 3 endometriosis. I told my endometriosis specialist not to disclose that information because I know that she would get mad and say how can you do that to your body you're only 32. The day of the surgery she was talking about kids and I just agreed with her just to make things go smoothly but that was a day I went to my endometriosis specialist and told him straight out after he gave me some time to think about it which I was sure back then and still am sure that I don't want children.

I feel like having children would be a trap and it will hinder me a lot in life and if I'm going to be selfish I might as well be selfish while not pregnant rather than having children and then being selfish. Also I would be heartbroken if my children ended up with endometriosis because sometimes it could be genetic...... I don't even want to tell any Partners right away that I got my tubes tied because then they will pressure me to have unprotected sex because in their mind there is no chance of pregnancy and then probably be out the door once a woman that does want kids come along. All I say is that I am Child free and that's all and if they don't respect it they get unmatched or if they try to change my mind I would break it off.