u/GranaVegano

Ok I’m not going to put the whole story here but I owe someone a favor so I’m developing some muffin recipes that are supposed to clone an existing brand that is on hiatus. Super healthy bran muffins, ingredient deck is wheat bran, wheat flour, flax, baking powder and soda, fruit juice, oil, and secondary flavors like blueberries, banana, carrot, etc.

Now I think I pulled off something nice for what they are, no sugar or sweeteners, low or no fat, obscene amounts of bran. I’ve never tried the original but everyone who’s has says they’re dry, dense, and crumbly and they tell me mine are much better.

Client is unhappy. Says mine aren’t sweet enough, they’re too nicely shaped (photos show original brand are all over leavened, spilling out of the tin to create big flat mushroom tops instead of domes) and they want to match it exactly because the original brand has a 3 month refrigerated shelf life.

What?

First two things aside, there’s no such thing as organic, preservative free muffins lasting 3 months in the fridge. They assure me original brand lasts 3 months. I tell them that while they very well may put that on the packaging there’s no fucking way those muffins are still good to sell and eat after months in the cooler. They’re fighting me on it to the point I’m about to quit.

Please help me find the words to get it through these idiots heads that it’s not only unsafe but unlawful to sell a baked product after that much time. Or tell me I’m an idiot and this company is doing something amazing to preserve these bran muffins. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

Got this truck 6 months ago after a friend swore up and down it was in good shape (he used to be a mechanic) and it’s been no end of problems. He refuses to acknowledge it now and I’m guessing he wasn’t good at his job but I was in a pinch and needed something fast. He said there were no accidents but now I’m noticing the liftgate isn’t original and neither is the bumper or the headlights. I’m a chef, not a mechanic so it took me some time to start catch things, but I’m also too broke to pay someone. Here’s the list so far:

-oil leaking on the starter so I had to replace that
-smoke test showed a warp in intake manifold, replaced
-vacuum line on fuel pressure regulator broken, replaced
-evap code so replaced front solenoid and rear vent
-fraying serpentine, replaced
-replaced valve cover gasket to stop oil leak
-replaced air filter
-headlights were ziptied in and didn’t work, mounted properly, new bulbs, and fixed relay
-found disconnected wires on liftgate module, that fixed the rear wiper and license plate lamp, bonus
- replaced passenger door lock actuator, RIP backpack of work documents stolen
- replaced multiple random missing bolts
-cleaned throttle body and all reachable sensors
-been pulling and replacing transmission fluid because I don’t have anywhere to do a full change right now

Pending tasks are dropping the transmission pan, full fluid change, cleaning magnet, replacing filter, replacing ABS sensors (getting a code)

I’m diagnosing and fixing everything solely on YouTube videos and Reddit posts and I feel like I’m doing pretty ok but the shitty acceleration and lack of power are giving me a hard time. I’ve done the following on that front

-unplugged all ignition coils one by one to make sure they have power
-pulled, cleaned, adjusted, and multimeter tested spark plugs (one well had oil that was fixed with valve cover gasket replacement)
-replaced fuel filter
-smoke tested for vacuum leaks
-ran fuel injector cleaner

Still shit performance and stuttering. The live reading says the fuel trim is in the +/-18 flux range which I know is bad. All the info I can find is wishywashy “maybe it’s fuel filter or injectors or maybe ignition coils or could be spark plugs and sometimes they’re bad but sometimes they still work when they’re bad” and I can’t nail it down. I have cheap Chinese spark plugs but they read fine on the multimeter, will a new set of ACDelcos actually make a difference? Can my ignition coils be failing and still working most of the time? Can I test my injectors somehow without taking that fucking intake manifold off again? I would love an unambiguous answer on how to tackle this problem. I’m getting enough misfires to notice but not enough to throw a code. Any help is appreciated.

I have lived in San Diego for over 10 years and have called 911 twice. The first time was a few years ago. My place was broken into while I was asleep, the guy took my wife’s bag, used the key fob to find my car, and then emptied my bank account at a Walmart. It took over 11 fucking hours for cops to show up. They jotted down a few notes and said I should buy a gun.

Today when I was walking into work one of the local homeless was standing by the door being creepy which isn’t out of the ordinary. There’s been a stalemate over the last few years where we pretend they aren’t there and they leave us alone. I know calling the cops on them is pointless, they occasionally get picked up and dropped at the shelter but they always migrate back. It is what it is.

Today this motherfucker blew fucking CRACK SMOKE in my fucking FACE, as in a giant cloud right in my face, as in I breathed in crack smoke, as in I had a panic attack because my mouth and tongue went numb and my throat burned. I screamed at him and he walked off, I couldn’t do anything else because I was carrying a giant load of food.

I’m not trying to fight this crackhead, I’ve seen him screaming at the pavement and punching it until his hand is burger meat. I know he carries knives. I called the cops, told them everything, 911 wouldn’t even let me give a full description of the guy, they just kept cutting me off and said a cop would be there soon. I made sure to tell them he lived in the parking lot and doesn’t leave.

Cops never came. Never called back. The crackhead was still there, screaming and smoking crack when I left, getting up every now and then to walk up the block and back to jiggle handles looking for unlocked cars.

How do I constantly see clusters of cars with a dozen cops standing around? Cops pulling people over every few miles? Plenty of cops to stand around blocking traffic for the fucking rock and roll marathon, but if someone smokes crack and blows it in my face I got just pretend it didn’t happen.

We give them more money every year and they get less effective and produce more lawsuits. They’re revenue machines that will do 1000 tasks that are low effort but they won’t respond to violent crime if there’s not an army of them available. They’re cowards and we’re on our own.

I have lived in San Diego for over 10 years and have called 911 twice. The first time was a few years ago. My place was broken into while I was asleep, the guy took my wife’s bag, used the key fob to find my car, and then emptied my bank account at a Walmart. It took over 11 fucking hours for cops to show up. They jotted down a few notes and said I should buy a gun.

Today when I was walking into work one of the local homeless was standing by the door being creepy which isn’t out of the ordinary. There’s been a stalemate over the last few years where we pretend they aren’t there and they leave us alone. I know calling the cops on them is pointless, they occasionally get picked up and dropped at the shelter but they always migrate back. It is what it is.

Today this motherfucker blew fucking CRACK SMOKE in my fucking FACE, as in a giant cloud right in my face, as in I breathed in crack smoke, as in I had a panic attack because my mouth and tongue went numb and my throat burned. I screamed at him and he walked off, I couldn’t do anything else because I was carrying a giant load of food.

I’m not trying to fight this crackhead, I’ve seen him screaming at the pavement and punching it until his hand is burger meat. I know he carries knives. I called the cops, told them everything, 911 wouldn’t even let me give a full description of the guy, they just kept cutting me off and said a cop would be there soon. I made sure to tell them he lived in the parking lot and doesn’t leave.

Cops never came. Never called back. The crackhead was still there, screaming and smoking crack when I left, getting up every now and then to walk up the block and back to jiggle handles looking for unlocked cars.

How do I constantly see clusters of cars with a dozen cops standing around? Cops pulling people over every few miles? Plenty of cops to stand around blocking traffic for the fucking rock and roll marathon, but if someone smokes crack and blows it in my face I got just pretend it didn’t happen.

We give them more money every year and they get less effective and produce more lawsuits. They’re revenue machines that will do 1000 tasks that are low effort but they won’t respond to violent crime if there’s not an army of them available. They’re cowards and we’re on our own.