Can't be present. Life is too boring...
26M have struggled with ADHD all my life, and have been medicated since I was 8 years old. SInce the pandemic I have struggled with trying to stay present and in the moment and it is making daily life hard. I have to have airpods in and a youtube video playing to complete basic tasks like driving to work, doing household chores, or getting groceries, and my maladaptive daydreaming is out of control if I'm not completely overstimulated with some sort of screen. I average between 7-9 hrs of phone screen time per day, even while working a full time job that offers very little down-time, which means im spending pretty much every moment of free time on my phone or having a youtube video in the background.
This has made it hard for me to be present during daily life, I'm struggling with executive functions if I can't autopilot, I will randomly check out of conversations with friends, coworkers, or my significant other, and in general I just feel like I have gotten more stupid in the past 5-6 years.
I also HAVE to have a certain number of time per day on my phone or I feel irritable, even with my significant other. He just enjoys being in nature, going for walks on the beach, listening to birds, etc.; but that is basically torture for me. If I am not playing a sport or doing something that keeps me completely engaged at all times I find it torturous...
On times where I have tried to experience life; i either start to feel empty, more anxious, or stressed out; and its especially hard to maintain after a hard day at work when I just need some escapism.
To people who have experienced this, I would appreciate any advice or hacks you have. I know this will be a hard journey, and I'm undoing a literal lifetime of bad habits, but I know I can overcome this.