u/Green_Assistant64

Edit: We've had issues with Schlage, also😭 I suppose I can change batteries monthly and leave the key on the grill beside the door. Just seems like if I know there's a problem, I should find a permanent solution.

We have kwikset in the rental. The lock just failed due to super short battery life - changed batteries 2 months ago. What are you using?

We'd love a nonelectronic option. We're thinking of going old-school and using a deadbolt with a key. We'd make a dozen backups to have in case guests forget to leave the key. We'd leave cabin unlocked, 2 keys with logo keychain, and directions to leave key on the table at checkout.

How can we successfully rebuild our relationship? How have others restored their relationship? Married 38 years and divorce is not on the table.

My husband and I started swinging January 2024. We only played together with other couples/groups the 1st year and a half. My libido was much higher than his, so he encouraged me to meet up with the male halves of 3 different couples with their wives knowledge and consent. I would do that about once a month, sometimes for overnight. This was in addition to its going to a swingers club monthly and swapping with other couples once a month. At the beginning of 2026, he met a female and started seeing her weekly. Because of age and refactory period, we would forego sex the day he met the other woman so he could show her a good time. In the meantime, my sex drive was increasing. We went from swinging together and daily sex, to me feeling like I'm sacrificing time with my husband because he's too tired and wanted to show the other person a good time. And we were having sex 3-5 times a week.

That brought out my insecurities, anxiety, and depression. I'm in counseling. I felt like others needs were more important than mine. We chose to pause swinging in late April. He brings swinging up a few times a month. I thought I wanted it, but a recent disagreement caused me to say, "No sex with others. We can have our fantasies, but no swinging. Expectations can now be managed. It's just not going to happen. I can't handle it.

I'm not sure if it's our disagreement, my mental health taking a toll on the relationship, me saying no to swinging, or a combination of everything, but there's a gulf between us. Maybe it's him carefully measuring his words so he doesn't say something in error.

So many people complain about their spouse. I was one of them until I started focusing on fixing myself, not him. Married 38 years in August. I've had a few mental breaks between kids, miscarriages, deployments, and life.

This morning he asked how I was. Routine answer - good. Then I said that I was, actually in a mood and I wasn't sure why. I told him I needed a hug and to be outside working with him. That's what we did. What a great man. He heard my heart and cared for me.

Update: I reached VRBO support via chat so it's all recorded and not hearsay. They said he hasn't reached out for a refund, so they can't do anything, but I did everything correctly. The agent believes he may try to commit fraud, and said they're on my side. They will be able to see via the chat that I contacted VRBO within minutes of the guest saying they never booked. Fingers crossed that VRBO remains on my side.

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A few days ago, I posted about a guest who did not show. I sent messages via VRBO platform as well as text messages to his cell. The reservation was Monday to Thursday. Today, Saturday, he sent a message that said, "I never booked this." He booked February 1st and wrote what he was coming to see/do.

How could he respond on the same VRBO message chain? It showed his booking, his comment, then the comment that he never booked.

What should I do? Let it ride? Contact VRBO? Honestly, if it's fraudulent, I think VRBO should take care of investigating it and reaching out to me.

Our 6th season hosting and we have our 1st guest that didn't show up. Since they booked February 1st, we haven't heard a word. I used the VRBO platform to send a welcome message right after they booked. Then I sent them a message via VRBO and text to let them know they could check in 4 hours early on Monday. It's Tuesday afternoon and haven't heard anything.

Has this happened to others? Do you just collect the payment and go on with your life?

Update: He choose to sleep in the guest room last night. Still not talking. My counseling is at 2 today.

Married almost 40 years. Started swinging in 2024. Shifted to both of us having regular solo partners in 2026 (him weekly, me once or twice a month).

Occasionally, I'd join them for FFM. One of those times, I really watched them and got extremely jealous of their closeness. It felt as if he was more focused on her needs than mine when the three of us were together.

I tried talking to him about it. Told him I was jealous, but looking to handle it in a positive way. In the end, I just couldn't deal with him being with her anymore.

I asked if he loved her; he said didn't. He realized how hurt I was and we closed our relationship, I started weekly counseling, and we seemed better.

Yesterday, something popped up that reminded me of their dates. I told him I had jealousy, but it was stupid because at this point she's just a memory and that he'll never see or talk with again. I really wanted him to hold and reassure me at that point. Of course, my insecure side only told him that I loved him, not that I needed to be held.

I'm not sure if he shut down, didn't want to say the "wrong" thing, had his own feelings, or what, but now we aren't talking.

He's extremely worried about my mental health, hence the counselor, but he doesn't seem to understand that I can't control when feelings hit. Yes, I'm working on my reaction to the feelings. And I thought talking about them was the right thing to do.

Was I wrong to share my feelings with him? Do I keep the feelings to myself? Only talk about them with the counselor?

A month ago, we hit a negative time after 2 years of swinging. I got jealous of the time/attentiveness my husband was giving to one of his play friends. Once I broke down to my husband, he said we were finished swinging. He said I'm his number one person. I truly appreciate it. However, he has a monthly health appointment tomorrow. He'd usually see the lady, then go to the appointment. This is the first time he's had the appointment since we stopped swinging. It's stirred up emotions and I shared those with my husband. I'm not sure if I scared, worried, or aggravated him by bringing it up to him. Now I'm over thinking if I set us back by bringing up my insecurities. I'll definitely talk with my therapist about it Thursday.