u/GrumpyHappiness

Is it just me or does everything taste saltier now? Some of my fav foods are inedible because of it too! Just wondering…haha.

I have been so lucky and have barely had any side effects. Maybe a little nausea in the morning but nothing like this. I haven’t taken the 9mg for 2-3 days because I forgot/didn’t want to and took it this morning and puked an hour later. First time feeling sick on these meds. I’m lucky I even made it to the bathroom honestly. I hope it’s a 1 and done kinda thing because I do feel better now. Also wondering if the pill was thrown up (aka wasted) or if it got digested within the hour. Anyone else ever get so bad they puke? If so, how often? Thank you all!

Restaurants, bars, concerts, music festivals, travel, camping, hiking, watching sunsets, etc - I do all these things alone because I have to, not because I want to. I usually cry on my way to an event, or even at some point during, when I think about how it could be a shared experience like the people around me, but for me, it’s just me. People think I’m out being social all the time but I’m really just out experiencing it to myself with no one to share it with. In the past I had spent too much of my time missing out on things because I was waiting on others so I finally just started doing them myself thinking I would gain those communities. Others still have never showed. I’ve been doing things solo for many, many years now, and honestly, it sucks!! I’m a pack animal type person too.

People see/know me as a social, bubbly, funny, extrovert, but I now I wonder if that’s only because I have to engage with others, or again, it is just who I am. Sometimes I make temporary event friends (yes, I’ve tried to do similar events with them later) but it doesn’t stick, so I return alone. I’ve tried telling friends I want to hang and do more things, but nothing transpires. Sometimes people will reach out to see if I’m out and want to hang but they are usually already with someone else doing a prior thing and are letting me know they are heading to a place we request. I’m an afterthought. I also try to not internalize the reality that literally no one wants to hang out with me, because people hype me up all the time…but still they don’t want to be my true friend? It’s definitely a mindf*ck. So many connections I’ve thought would turn into something, only for it to never have any follow thru even when I’m trying. I don’t get it.

I feel completely misunderstood by society and the world around me and I don’t know what else I can do to adjust it, other than to accept being the lone wolf type…forever, and that’s incredibly depressing. It’s all so confusing and sad. I won’t even get started on how this probably effects my terrible choices in partners. That’s for another post…

(Typing this as I literally have 0 hang out offers on yet another holiday centered around celebrating. And yes, I reached out to people and did not get offered to join anything people were already attending.)

Thank you Reddit community for providing me this place to word vomit my lonely sad thoughts into a void, since I have no one to listen in person.

Do you want to build a snowman…?