u/HalLutz

The settings of this dream was somewhere back in time. Probably the 18th century. My brother and I were base jumping and flying with wingsuits around the mountains what looked Switzerland or northern Italy.

​

At the start, we were just flying around admiring the geological features. Then we came to a valley with three castles. One was ruined, one was a square castle that appeared to be from the dark ages, and one was more of a renaissance castle.

​

We landed in that valley and walked to a nearby pyramid, which was unfortunately full of pirates, including Captain Jack Sparrow. They were using it as an olive oil factory. Stealing an idea from A New Hope, I pretended that I had taken my brother prisioner, but instead of using to gain entry, I just actually sold him into slavery for a few silver pieces.

​

The pirates then took me in as one of there own. Eventually, they realized I was just a landlubber and they made me a slave too, but my brother was a bad slave and I was a good slave, so they freed me and made me a pirate again.

​

​

​

​

So, I've been working pretty hard lately trying to find a girlfriend who lives either in my college town or my hometown because I'll be going back and forth during the summer. I can get some pretty bad beer goggles but that's not exactly what happened here.

This bar has a bartender that may actually be the most beautiful woman in the world. I cannot understate how beautiful, I mean actually beyond 10 out of 10. She could probably be a model instead and probably would be if she was a little taller. Silky brown hair and beautiful green eyes, and walking right down the line of hot and cute. I would never have a chance with her but I also know anything is possible.

So I made a cheesy business card with my number on it that said to call me for dinner sometime. I wasn't sure if I was going to actually give it to anyone but I kept it in my wallet in case.

Now it was karaoke night at this bar, and I happen to have a really beautiful voice whenever I don't have too many drunk cigs, so I like to do a little singing for the ladies. My best friend just had a huge breakup so I was trying to get him out of his shell a little bit and I signed us both up for Mr Brightside.

I carried the singing but we started off pretty well. Until the instrumental came. You see, My friend and I have this thing where durning the quiet part of a song at a party we chant, "F*** [PARTICULAR FRAT]!" until it's time to sing again. And well the bar might not have been ready for that.

Now three quarters of the bar, all college students, is chanting profanity at the top of their lungs. The other quarter, quiet adult townies didn't seem to be too much of a fan of that, so they cut my mic off but people kept chanting. The male waiters and the guy who was running the karaoke were a little bit upset and asked me to leave but I apologized really nicely and then they said that I was just cut off. Then I apologized again even nicer and they said I could keep drinking.

So I go back to my seat and the beautiful bartender serves me my next pitcher of beer and adds, "that was quite the show" before walking off. I almost fell out of my seat. I then talked to my two friends about how she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and how none of us have a chance with her and they agreed. One of those friends actually worked at the bar before and gave me her name and told me she was single.

Suddenly I remembered the business card that I had made. At this point it was decided. I was going to give it to her. It was getting close to closing despite the bar still being quite crowded and my friends figured out where we were drinking after so I went to close out by the cash register. The beautiful bartender was occupied though, so I was helped by a mustached gentleman instead. I folded the business card into the merchant copy of the receipt and set it by the place where I was sitting. This is where it went wrong. I saw him pick it up instead of her as I was walking out to the door.

Now I figured he would either give it to her or throw it away, but I failed to consider the third option. He thought I was asking him out. Now I have a missed call and an unanswered text where he asked me when I was free for dinner, and that's the end of that.

Edited for clarity.