u/Helpful-Antelope-678

This is all over TikTok now, dudes talking about how much they hate rape culture and that they're FUCKING ANGRY!!!! I wonder how many of those guys have actually confronted someone they cared about who did something heinous to a woman.

I did this a while ago with a former friend of mine and it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. There were lies, false starts, attempts at "rehabilitation", etc. I was young and the process was imperfect but we tried. I had no choice but to drop him as a friend and it got super heated and ugly. It still hurts a lot.

My pain obviously isn't anywhere near that of the victim, but it was a miserable experience. It wasn't fun and there was no cathartic Rambo moment, it didn't leave me feeling like I was any sort of "ally" or "one of the good ones TM". Just a lot of pain. I don't regret it but I hate seeing men act like this kind of thing is easy.

Ok not actually I think it works really well but it's just that Love Takes Miles is like a straight dopamine shot. The song makes you feel like you can do anything and then Drinking Age is extremely depressing and totally feels like you just crashed. Cancer of the Skull rocks too god that album just flows so well

Getting into a depressive episode and convincing yourself of all sorts of things in the heat of the moment. Being positive that every horrible assumption or incomplete conclusion is sacrosanct and that you will feel this way for the rest of your life. All circling back to what seems like the unavoidable truth that all the joy in your life is in spite of how broken/irredeemable/useless you are and that being a depressed idiot is all you will ever be.

It took me forever to understand that these feelings come and go and that you just have to patiently let it pass, like a gust of wind blowing through a chain link fence. The more you try to fight it and reason against yourself, the worse it’ll hurt. I wish I learned this 10 years ago but I’m glad I know it now. Even if it’s DBT, self-helpy, and gay.

I’m starting a grad school program full time while working my 9-5. It’ll be 3/4 night classes a semester. I feel like absolute shit shout it. Everything I love in life like my hobbies and friends will be on hold while I grind.

I’m also 30 years old, chronically single, and desperate for a gf (which obviously can’t happen while I’m just working and in school all the time). I’m just so sad 😔. I know it’ll be worth it in the long term but I’m curious of anyone else’s experience with this?

I really want to text a fling from a year ago and try and get back together but I won’t because my schedule will be so fucked. Will probably text her anyway

Why not text the "right person/wrong time" fling you've been replaying in your head for a million years? Ignore the voice in your head saying it's a bad idea and that it'll only make things worse. How great is life without texting them anyway?

Once some boring responsibilities clear up I'm definitely gonna do it. It'll probably be a disaster

I’m from Brooklyn and moved to Manhattan last year. I love living on the island so much and I never wanna live in another borough. I obviously can’t do every single neighborhood but here’s my early draft of a tier list, with some assorted thoughts below. Curious to hear everyone’s thoughts.

S-Tier: Upper West Side, Inwood, East Village

A-Tier: West Harlem, Union Square, Greenwich Village

B-Tier: Chinatown, Hell’s Kitchen, Lower East Side, West Village

C-Tier: Meatpacking district, Upper East Side, Washington Heights

D-Tier: East Harlem, Soho, Chelsea

F-Tier: Gramercy/Murray Hill, Tribeca, Midtown/Times Square

1. The West Side as a whole is so much better than the East. The UWS is upscale but still has a lot of genuine NYC charm. Beautiful architecture, great bars, transit, and you’re right by Riverside. The UES, by comparison, is too sterile and lacks character. It’s pretty but not much there. The irony is that you could argue the UES is more affordable for normies because of Yorkville. My ex also lives in the UES so the connotations make it weird for me but I digress. 
2. Inwood is an incredible part of town with the parks in New York imo. Great bars, food and the area is full of life. Some parts are sketchy but whatever idc it's a fun part of town and all the Dominicans riding their UTVs blasting reggaeton at 2am makes it even better. Inwood Hill Park is so underrated and the Met Cloisters are right there too. The only real issue is that it's super far from a lot of shit.
3. East Village is superior to the West Village in every way. I only recently learned the distinction between Greenwich and the West Village, and I much prefer Greenwich because of MacDougal St and Washington Square Park. 
4. I view the Meatpacking District and Soho as similarly shitty in that it’s mostly just shopping, but at least the Meatpacking has the waterfront and the highline. 
5. I HATE TRIBECA so much. I have to go for work sometimes and the bars are all terrible, there really isn’t a particularly nice park (Battery Park is fine) and it’s just bland and boring. Gramercy and Murray hill suck too but a lot of that is me hating the finance bros that live there.

I’m from Brooklyn and moved to Manhattan last year. I love living on the island so much and I never wanna live in another borough. I obviously can’t do every single neighborhood but here’s my early draft of a tier list, with some assorted thoughts below. Curious to hear everyone’s thoughts.

S-Tier: Upper West Side, Inwood, East Village

A-Tier: West Harlem, Union Square, Greenwich Village

B-Tier: Chinatown, Hell’s Kitchen, Lower East Side, West Village

C-Tier: Meatpacking district, Upper East Side, Washington Heights

D-Tier: East Harlem, Soho, Chelsea

F-Tier: Gramercy/Murray Hill, Tribeca, Midtown/Times Square

1. The West Side as a whole is so much better than the East. The UWS is upscale but still has a lot of genuine NYC charm. Beautiful architecture, great bars, transit, and you’re right by Riverside. The UES, by comparison, is too sterile and lacks character. It’s pretty but not much there. The irony is that you could argue the UES is more affordable for normies because of Yorkville. My ex also lives in the UES so the connotations make it weird for me but I digress. 
2. Inwood is an incredible part of town with the parks in New York imo. Great bars, food and the area is full of life. Some parts are sketchy but whatever idc it's a fun part of town and all the Dominicans riding their UTVs blasting reggaeton at 2am makes it even better. Inwood Hill Park is so underrated and the Met Cloisters are right there too. The only real issue is that it's super far from a lot of shit.
3. East Village is superior to the West Village in every way. I only recently learned the distinction between Greenwich and the West Village, and I much prefer Greenwich because of MacDougal St and Washington Square Park. 
4. I view the Meatpacking District and Soho as similarly shitty in that it’s mostly just shopping, but at least the Meatpacking has the waterfront and the highline. 
5. I HATE TRIBECA so much. I have to go for work sometimes and the bars are all terrible, there really isn’t a particularly nice park (Battery Park is fine) and it’s just bland and boring. Gramercy and Murray hill suck too but a lot of that is me hating the finance bros that live there.

I have a song finished and it's built around a sample. The song starts with a 10 second snippet of the sampled material (pitched down) before the "drop" comes in. I want to pitch it to spotify but I'm not sure if that means I risk having it pulled down (it's an uncleared sample). Does anyone have experience with this?

"really? I thought you were supposed to be super excited about someone you like when you start seeing them."

"Yes but the classic butterflies scenerio means you're also extremely stressed about keeping them. The euphoria you feel when things are good is only an indication of how bad things are when they take a turn."

"Well then how are you supposed to feel when you start seeing somebody?"

"Happy, maybe a little excited, but calm and peaceful. A slow burn."

"What's the difference between a slow burn and just being lukewarm about someone? Are movies and songs all wrong and you're not actually supposed to be deeply enamored at the beginning?"

"People confuse love with limerence."

"Limerence is a stupid TikTok word wtf are you talking about. I wanna be a lover."

"Well good luck having short lived flings that crash and burn."

"Whatever good luck in your boring relationship that'll eventually break apart after it drags on for too long."

"Fuck you bitch"

"no fuck you"

*I write in this format so I can differ from typical woe-is-me adviceposting. I am curious what you all think about the idea of "butterflies in your stomach" when you first meet someone vs. actually trying to build something that lasts

"Why?"

"Life is so romantic when I walk around my city with my headphones on and yearning"

"That sound depressing"

"Yes but it's meaningful"

"But why?"

"Because I've experienced being in love and it unlocked a part of me that I didn't know was there. I'm devastated that it didn't work out but I'm so grateful that I felt that way about someone."

"How is this not just being stuck in the past? You should focus on hobbies and meeting new people"

"I don't want anyone or anything else"

"This is really stupid, you're not Jay Gatsby. Your heartbreak is actually super mundane and similar to what everyone goes through. You're not getting younger and it seems like this romanticizing is actively harming you"

"No it isn't you're stupid"

"Nuh uh you're stupid"

“You gotta wait it out”

“But I can’t stop thinking about them. I miss our relationship so much and I don’t want to feel like shit.”

“Yeah dude that sucks. You still gotta wait it out though”

“Well maybe I’ll date around and that’ll help!”

“Might be a nice distraction but it could also probably make it worse when you realize that the new people just aren’t them. Then you’re gonna be alone again and have to wait it out.”

“Ok but maybe I should reach out and try and fix things”

“Maybe but it could just blow up in your face and leave you back to square one.”

“Ok so what do I do?”

“Just wait and feel like shit until you don’t.”

“Fuck you”

“You gotta wait it out”

“But I can’t stop thinking about them. I miss our relationship so much and I don’t want to feel like shit.”

“Yeah dude that sucks. You still gotta wait it out though”

“Well maybe I’ll date around and that’ll help!”

“Might be a nice distraction but it could also probably make it worse when you realize that the new people just aren’t them. Then you’re gonna be alone again and have to wait it out.”

“Ok but maybe I should reach out and try and fix things”

“Maybe but it could just blow up in your face and leave you back to square one.”

“Ok so what do I do?”

“Just wait and feel like shit until you don’t.”

“Fuck you”

I love Isaac Brock and I think he's a genius. I knew he had problems in the past but had no idea the extent. All the drugs made it way worse but it seems pretty apparent that he's schizoaffective or something because him talking to the writer about 5G stuff was incredibly left-field. On top of that he alluded to having early onset dementia.

It's also a bummer because it shows a lot of really unsavory things about his life, knocking up a 21 year old when he was 40 and dating a different member of the band. The writer also unearths some information on an old SA accusation that makes it look pretty damning for him.

I love his music so much and I feel stupid for being disappointed that he might not be the person I thought he was. He's had a difficult life and he seems to cope with it by drinking all the time and possibly still doing a bunch of drugs. It was an interesting read though.

I went on a few dates with someone and she's cool but, over time, it became pretty clear we don't have that much in common and are probably not a good fit. These types of situations are sad because she's really sweet but i'm just not feeling it.

Anyway she ended up going out of town for like a week and a half to see friends/family. She's a big texter and seemed to be having a lot of fun so I felt bad just breaking it off while she was on vacation. She gets back soon so I'll likely break it off then but I felt like a sociopath for having casual conversation over text while secretly planning to break things off. Anyone ever do this?