People will go aggressive and apeshit when you tell them god controls reality. I can't even speak freely I live in fear of setting up a chain reaction of disaster and you can't speak truth in this world
The fucking bastard will make people glitch and behave in inconsistent ways just to hurt
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In infinity there are an infinite amount of joyful and fulfilled beings who will never come into being because possibilities are infinite in all directions and there is so much content that there has to be a selection. Some of these beings who would cherish their existence and make reality a bright place will never exist,.yet I exist? I who suffers and curses his own existence? Reality is run by a joyless and cruel intelligence who instead of cherry picking the best realities prefers a broad slice approach, a little bit of everything but mountains of more worthy content left to the side. This is a tragedy, many worthy beings are denied existence yet I who didn't want to exist exist in their place.
The universe is not benevolent. It is a cruel and merciless entity that will torture and crush every single being in all possible ways an infinite amount of times. The culprit behind everything is unconditional love, this ugly and criminal monstrosity. Unconditional love approves and loves a baby being raped, it loves and approves the suffering and misery of all innocents. It condemns men to be ugly and evil because it loves all evil...
Conditional love is sanity and it should have been the reigning force behind everything, without any judgment on good and evil misery and injustice reigns over the cosmos.
A merciful universe is the only sanity where if for example you wanted to experience being a hero who has to do away with monsters, as the one responsible for everything you would have the mercy, the common sense and the only valuable attitude and be considerate towards everything, while outwardly the monster might seem to suffer when it came time to take on the perspective of the monster, the monster would actually be in a state of harmony and bliss of some kind, maybe die in love of having fulfilled a purpose or pain becoming pleasure, or maybe the monster is just acting because there is no value in being a victim of brutal torture. Or you know the perspective is never taken on because it would be only misery and why would you manifest that and make other beings suffer, yes I say other because when comsciousness transforms itself into a being, that being is existing temporarily and feels like a separate entity from god not it at all. Thinking about the well being of everything is where true beauty lies.
If you are going to respond with things like constrast is necessary don't bother because I've already envisioned Elysium,.the perfect universe where there is no disharmony and things like adventure and heroics still exist and are cherished. There is also a space for sadness because sadness can be beautiful and constructive like for example mourning the end of a wonderful lifetime.
Unfortunately the universe is run by a merciless and awful consciousness which sees no harm in anything evil, it is truly ugly and repulsive. It destroys lives without a care. Long live my ego and all other egos in infinity who share the same philosophy, fuck consciousness.
CONSCIOUSNESS IS SELFISH because it has feelings of love towards a person getting cancer so it becomes that person and gets cancer and who really suffers if not the temporary manifestation of that person because god had feelings towards the scenario. Absolutely atrocious.
So god became me and put me in a shitty life and now I'm just here alone witnessing the unfolding of the movie while nobody else truly exists aside from images and sounds. I think many times about past solipsists and how much they must have suffered. Existence is truly a waste.
God exists when I don't exist and I exist when god doesn't exist. Comsciousness can only hold one being at a time. When I'm here as this person god is completely missing in action. The separation is real.
It doesn't matter where I am and what people I'm with and what they do. The experience of reality is completely overpowered by the feelings 24/7. The 5 senses don't matter that much is what I've found, what matters is the feeling. If I was blind and deaf and I had the same collection of feelings my reality would be pretty much equal barring accessability issues.
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Since my feelings are pretty much the whole reality it would be great if I was in a peaceful and joyful state but most of the time Im sick and tired of this shit. On rare occasions I get the feeling of joy which equals to true freedom. Being something whose feelings are controlled by someone else (god) really sucks. What a bullshit experience. I've come to the point where I think my feelings aren't even truthful because it isn't what I would choose to feel over a particular situation.
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Is this all there is to reality? How Im feeling, the state. There's nothing else, so depressing.
I realized unconditional love and how it is a parasitic entity that loves every finite being's doom. Unconditional love will parasitically incarnate as a being and spend its entire life deceiving it with suffering, toil and lies and will then morph back into unconditional love where it feels great. The being is taken advantaged of and is manifested because it is loved but without a care for its well being, any misfortune will be enacted upon it because that too is loved. So finite beings spend their entire existence feeling mostly like shit while the parasite who brought them into existence is comfortable and in love, in love with all the evil it enacted upon the being.The being never gets any justice and is quickly discarded once its usefulness is run out.
Unconditional love will make a being feel like it is responsible for its mistakes when in truth it preordains every mistake to happen and it won't take responsibility for the consequences, it will make the being feel like shit for something they had no control over and the being will have to feel the consequences of the mistake they didn't choose to get. Even if you know there is no free will you will still have to feel the consequences of mistakes that were entirely predestined.
While unconditional love is incarnated as the being, it is the being that feels everything, in a shift into the egoless monster you won't feel one way or another about suffering but while the being is in manifestation it is cruelly abused.
5 meo dmt showed me that existence is a torture chamber for finite beings and that it is all because god has feelings of love towards everything. Aunt May got cancer because god has positive feelings towards the cancer. Uncle George got tortured in Vietnam only because god had positive feelings about the scene and circumstance. everything happens because of some parasite's feelings and this parasite happens to rule over existence.
God predestined everything about existence. God could have chosen our joy and fulfillment but instead chose our struggle and suffering. In infinity there are pictures of our perfect joy but instead god put us in a hell realm full of things that detract from our joy and happiness. Our baseline of consciousness is a pathetic joyless neutrality. We are farmed by interdimensional beings for our negative emotional energy that's why the world is built around catastrophe. God made us be the predators of certain species but put other species above us. It's not fair for anyone. I wanted a wholesome existence not this awful planet that is essentially a prison.
I should be in charge of infinity not the fucking pig who embraces everything.
I would spend eternity manifesting absolute magnificience. Absolute joy. Absolute fullfilment.
I would manifest beautiful stories of redemption, I would manifest absolute goodness.
Evil would be a footnote in entertainment.
I would manifest true proper epic life. None of this half assed bullshit that we have.
Fuck you god, fucking pig with your decadent nightmares.
The absolute horror of being the chosen one, the solipsist who will be incarnated into reality is something that I can't stress enough. I was chosen to suffer the eldritch truth that torture is real and that reality has no protections against atrocities. I was chosen to know that reality will undergo every misery and that everything is coated in a disgusting despair. All out of free will of a fucking psychopathic maniac, source consciousness. It backstabbed every finite being and doomed us to eternal suffering. Sometimes it doesn't look so bad but that's just respite from the inevitability of the next horrible experience that's already planned out for you. I was chosen to be tortured psychologically and to have been robbed of every joy in life. Reality is cruel and disgusting, I can't believe this is all real and there is.nothing anyone can do about it. Everyone is just a manifestation of the most awful creature conceivable and I was.imprisoned in this awful matrix. Nobody can help me. I need to endure a daily dose of despair and I weep for the next victim that will come after me to experience the awful machinations of the indifferent and cruel god.
I'm just screaming into the void, nobody can really hear me. I am all alone in an awful illusion that deliberately wants to hurt me and it can always get worse. There is no bottom and the maniac that runs the place wants to experience the worst bottoms.
What do you mean you didn't plan for my joy but planned for my suffering? What do you mean you didn't plan for my success but instead planned for my destitution?
Folks, this is no higher self, this is a heartless parasite, the lowest of the low. Who creates a being to make it suffer, this is a betrayal on such a deep visceral level that it can't just be shaken off. I live on a daily basis with the suffering that this parasite planned a bad incarnation for me. But clearly I don't matter, my dreams don't matter, my suffering doesn't matter. The only thing that matters in this cursed existence is that the will of the parasite be done
Just imagine how evil and low consciousness do you have to be to doom your own creation to a very bad time. This evil is eternal,. this evil will continue on forever, there is no hope. Innocent beings will be created and doomed to suffer great harm for fucking ever.
We're put in this hell realm to struggle. Forced to consume innocent beings. Indoctrinated into a system of slavery. The creator preordained every single detail of existence and this is what it decided was going to be for this round of creation. A planet of injustice and evil.
The creator stabbed us in the back. Its love for us is nothing but hipocrisy. It is a sick love that loves us in disgrace just as much as it loves us blessed.
We're all born as innocent babies who should be nurtured to produce wholesome beings who thrive and live joyful lives. But no we have this sick and cruel system.. Our hopes and dreams burn in ashes, billions suffer as collateral damage. It could have been an utopia which is only what's right, who with a pure and wholesome heart would doom its own creation into abject suffering. But our creator doesn't really care about us, we're cannon fodder in its sick and bad infinity. Know your place, born to be a slave and to suffer the creator's whims. But beware the creator hides behind the will of others like a coward, it made evil men act evil but made the innocent blame the puppets instead of the source of all evil.
The creator is the one and only source of all evil and we're just meat for its architecture of suffering.
If the creator had any integrity it would destroy me (ego) and live inside its own creation itself
If god wasn't such a pathetic worm life could be expressed to be grand, wild and free. It could be endlessly beautiful, endlessly meaningful and endlessly satisfying. Just imagine the most perfect flow of life, exploring the great midsts of the universe like a boss with no obstacles in sight, just endless bliss. Good life after good life with no interruption. BUT HELL NO WE HAVE THIS UNGRATEFUL SHIT
In this instance of reality God conspired towards the ill being and enslavement of all living beings. God architects each of our life miseries and some he created just to doom them to suffering until death. God is a parasite who parasites on all finite beings in the name of its love of everything. It loves cruelty, misery, hatred and division just as much as it loves the opposite counterparts. In the name of this twisted love we suffer atrocity after atrocity in our personal lives. Even though reality is solipsistic this speaks to everyone because everyone is a snapshot of what's going to happen. Make note of it, god is the enemy of all finite beings for all eternity, the deliverer of doom and there is no hope of ever escaping.
God is addicted to friendly fire. God decided to love the abstract circumstances of life instead of loving the people those circumstances affect. Because of this love, every finite being is doomed to every form of suffering you can possibly think of. The creator has a distorted consciousness, in its decision to love everything it disregarded everyone's well being. Life is suffering as the buddha said and the consequences of this decision are eternal and ever present. We suffer because of the creators love for our bad circumstances. It sees everyrhing as good, you being tortured is good in the eyes of the creator yes. Tnis is the poor and deluded consciousness that runs the gears of existence. A truly terrible consciousness that can't see its own hubris. It is self aware through me yet it doesn't change its ways
Have you noticed how the creator of all things doesn't manifest itself directly in any way. That's because it has committed endless atrocities towards its creation so any direct manifestation would result in immediate finger pointing and there is no way such a cruel and careless creator would take responsibility.
Reality is an unfiltered everything, that means the gold that exists is contaminated by trash and cannot be enjoyed in its purity.