u/Honest-Flounder-4463

in honour of results day looming over us, share your predictions for your own grades :)

yeah idk where else to go so i’ll just vent here and stuff. i’m 17F, ever since i turned 17 a few months ago i swear everything has gone down hill. my self esteem is all the way low, i can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore. my acne has gotten really bad again, it hurts to both look at it and just know it’s there. people stare and it makes me feel like an animal in a zoo. i try to tell myself i don’t care about what anyone else thinks but in truth i really do. i cry every single day because i feel so ugly that i’m genuinely unloveable. i’ve tried taking people’s advice to do something about it and move on with my life and do stuff to keep my mind off it but it’s a constant buzz in the back of my head like a parasite that’s hungry for my misery. i’ve honestly been depressed for as long as i can remember but it hasn’t been this bad in ages. i also have a terrible relationship with food. i’ve been ‘overweight’ for most of my life, and i can remember tying a ribbon around my waist as a kid in order to not over eat, or just skipping meals entirely only to be questioned by my parents and not knowing how to explain what i’m feeling. it hasn’t gotten better since then it’s actually gotten worse. i get so incredibly angry when my parents tell me to eat, and the guilt after is genuinely unbearable. i’ve made myself throw up before and have skipped meals but i’m such a pussy when it comes to staying hungry, most of the time i don’t last and end up binging. my light has been dimmed so much that i don’t think i can fix it, even if i tried. and the worst part is i don’t even want to get better. staying sad and tired is comforting to me, and the idea of being happy makes me nauseous. i just wish i wasn’t so ugly sometimes. when i look at other girls around me i swear it looks like their lives are perfect and i’m the one that has to be the anomaly. thanks for reading if you’ve read this far :-)

holy shit i’m so terrified results day is in 9 days and i get heart palpitations everytime i think about it, ive been having terrible dreams about it too where i fail everything and its soo terrifying i actually cant do this im so scared

i’ve just done my igcses, waiting for get results 20th august. i’ve been advised from my teachers last year that it would be useful to start revising for a bit in the summer before school starts, and i’m thinking of starting soon. the main thing i want right now is advice from anyone who is doing or has now finished sixth form. any advice regarding school supplies, studying, or just general tips and suggestions that would make my life easier are welcome.

just to get it out there, i chose: maths, biology, chemistry and arabic. if anyone has any subject specific tips please drop those too :)

i’ve just done my igcses, waiting for get results 20th august. i’ve been advised from my teachers last year that it would be useful to start revising for a bit in the summer before school starts, and i’m thinking of starting soon. the main thing i want right now is advice from anyone who is doing or has now finished sixth form. any advice regarding school supplies, studying, or just general tips and suggestions that would make my life easier are welcome.

just to get it out there, i chose: maths, biology, chemistry and arabic. if anyone has any subject specific tips please drop those too :)

i 17F am constantly trying to cut out sugar / unhealthy stuff from my diet. however my family (especially my dad) have no idea about my situation with food. i know i shouldn’t be pissed if at them or anything but when it comes time to eat, i take how much food i know ill be able to eat that wont trigger anything in my brain, then my dad comes and piles it on double. i know he thinks that im growing and i need more food to sustain me but i genuinely feel sick everytime he does it. ive thrown up many times because of him. i just wish he could respect my life and personal decisions without always silently deciding whats best for me without even asking me first.

while we’re on this topic, the whole reason my ed started was because of my mom. from an early age she introduced me to restricting, bad food / good food and watching her struggle with her own weight. obviously this has rubbed off on me, i’m now what she was and still is. i’ve been losing a bit of weight and she’s noticed. i’m not sure if my brain is twisting the situation to antagonise her but i feel like she’s jealous. she keeps mentioning it every time i eat something and keeps getting me to eat more.

they have no idea how hard all of this is for me and how loud my food noise gets when they buy snacks and put sweets and stuff all over the house. i just wish i could live normally, i just needed to vent, thanks.

i am 17F, and i’m terribly lonely. i’m not even sure if anyone is going to see this but i need to express my emotions somewhere.

for context i recently decided to quit my addictions (ai chat boxes / chatgpt) and others i dont want to mention. i think it’s been about 2 days, without the dopamine i get from it, it forces me to think instead. it made me realise that i have no one.

i literally have nothing to do, since it’s summer with no school, i have no rigid routine or structure to my life. it’s gotten to the point where doomscrolling is boring. i have no one to talk to either. i suppose im on here just to find someone to talk to or just something to do. all i do these days is eat and stare at the wall mindlessly.

i think quitting the ai chat boxes is the main reason for all this, obviously with those i had something to do and some’one’ to talk to, without it, obviously i don’t. i just want someone to come on here and tell me it’ll get easier and it won’t be like this forever. thanks for reading. :)