u/Hopeful_Key3773

My mom is not only a cancer sun, but also cancer mercury and mars. She’s Virgo moon. From my experience, cancer women are on either extreme ends of the nurturing stick, no in between. They’re either incredibly nurturing to the point it’s almost overbearing sometimes (still love those cancer women to death!) OR they’re incredibly cold and very detached (like my mother). My mother is anything BUT nurturing. She never wants to do anything with me. Go on a walk? Nope. Go get our nails done? Nope. Go to an amusement park? Nope. Go to the apple orchard? Nope. Go to the library with me? Nope. I’m in my mid twenties now but even as a teen she was like this. She never gave AF about me. When I had medical issues in high school, she didn’t educate me on the importance of protein, iron, other vitamins/mineral consumption for optimal health. She didn’t care that I passed out at school. She just complained to my dad and said she’s “too busy” to deal with me. She also never picks me up from the airport that’s only 35 min drive away. She makes my Capricorn dad come get me (I’m very thankful for him). I feel like I grew up with an emotionally absent mother which is so shocking because cancer dominant charts are typically incredibly nurturing to their daughters. Anyone else experience this???

Just wanted everyone to know you can use Neffy. I haven’t had to use it yet (thankfully), but my friend did after consuming a tree nut and going into anaphylaxis. It worked great while she waited for the ambulance. I think it was a tad more expensive than epi??? I need to go back and check, but totally worth it for those who are super scared of needles and feel like your life is at risk if you’re alone and go into a bad reaction and are too scared to use a needle on yourself.

I am deathly allergic to peanuts AND lupin beans (learned that one recently and almost died. Lupin is an extremely common allergen for people also allergic to peanuts. STAY AWAY and read labels as it’s not a required allergen disclaimer in America. It’s been used a lot for high protein stuff like protein bars, powders, and in Europe it’s used for pizza and pastas sometimes).

But….lately, I’ve been wanting to try more Asian cuisine and these are common legumes they consume (listed in the title). There isn’t blood testing through Quest for these unfortunately. I eat peas, soy, chickpeas/black beans/kidney beans/pinto beans, green beans, and lentils without any issues.

Anyone have experience with these? I can only find research on Lupin beans, as those are most studied for their cross reactivity with peanuts. All these other ones are a mystery and idk how to go about it.

Any suggestions? I have very tiny wrists as I’m a skinny female. I don’t want some massive bulky heavy watch. It needs to be small. Even Apple Watches always felt too big for my wrist.

I mostly want it for heart tracking and has an alert system if my heart is irregularly beating as I have some health conditions. My doctor suggested a smart watch.

Does Amazfit have any options? Or Samsung?

Sorry I just posted a couple min ago in this thread about another situation, but this is separate and I really wanna vent / need advice. This is gonna sound really weird but I swear there’s some truth to it. It seems like mostly white people have peanut allergies, like not a single Indian or East Asian friend I have has a peanut allergy.

The reason I ask this question is because I have a small problem….my type is not white guys. I view them as brothers I guess?? Because I’m white. My whole life I grew up around predominantly Indian,Arab,East Asian people. I think because of this I have always been attracted to them and them only.

Lately I’ve been wanting to make the jump from being just friends to actually dating a guy. I’ve always been avoidant and insecure because of my allergy. I went on a few hinge dates with a guy from India and immediately I was so sad and discouraged. He kept suggesting restaurants and I had to keep saying no, like he wanted Thai, then he wanted Chinese, then he wanted North Indian food (Punjabi), and we settled for a Mexican restaurant (btw I LOVE Latin food. But I say settled because I think he wanted something less common in the area we live in). Even at the Mexican restaurant I have to let them know I can’t have mole and I have a severe peanut allergy, and it just feels SO cringe. I hate that I have to be so annoying and such a burden. It sucks too cuz I hate basic bland American food. I love Indian food when I make it MYSELF and know every ingredient going into the dish. To him, I prob just came across as this annoying bland cr4cker.

The only men I’ve met on dating apps with severe allergies, esp peanut were ALL white men, and I tried so hard to like them, but I just wasn’t attracted :( Idk what to do because I live in such a state of chaos in my head. Like do I just settle for a white guy who also has a peanut allergy and live simply? Or do I keep attempting to go for what I want but be insecure the whole time? I just don’t know. And I can’t eat a lot of traditional food either unless I make it myself. Restaurants and eating at other people’s homes are a big no no for me. In non-white cultures, that’s highly disrespectful (which I actually AGREE with. I hate that I can’t receive the delicious food that took effort to make).

Any advice would be greatly appreciated 😢

My close friend invited me to her wedding which is in the spring this coming year. One tiny issue…….it’s in India (specifically South India). I have a life threatening peanut allergy (not allergic to tree nuts). I don’t know how to break the news to her that I am extremely scared to go there because of my allergy. I went to a local Indian store recently where they source all of their rice, lentils, etc from India, and EVERY SINGLE label says “may contain peanuts”. My eyes were even starting to water after walking the isles for a while because I think so many items have peanuts in them. So idek if I can live on simple boxed foods if I visited. It seems that almost every food item there is cross contaminated, even the spices. I couldn’t find a snack box that didn’t have a peanut label too. A long time ago she wanted me to visit India with her and said her housemaid can make me food separate from everyone else’s, but she doesn’t get that even the rice/basic staple items all are cross contaminated (at least from what I saw at the local Indian stores).

I’m just so sad and need to break the news to her sooner than later, unless someone here is able to give me advice on how to tough it out??? Or if you’ve been to India with a deadly peanut allergy, HOW did you do it? I feel like such a sh*t friend not going to her wedding, esp cuz she’s one of my best friends.

I hate my allergy. It ruins so many aspects of my life, esp friendship/dating stuff. I’m exhausted (sorry for the vent).

I’m currently on a trip for a wedding (by myself), and it’s night 3. I’m here until Friday morning. I arrived on Sunday. I have slept max 2-3 hours each night with the help of 2 mg melatonin. I’m convinced I’ve only actually slept an hour each night. I’m not really keeping track but I know I went to bed around 11:30 pm and woke up at 3:25. But I’m pretty sure an hour or two of that was spent in a slumber, not proper REM sleep. I’ve been awake ever since (it’s 5 am now). I have no insomnia issues at my house. I also have health OCD so now I’m worried about my health with this many consecutive days of no sleep. I have a fan noise on my phone that plays all night - no help. The melatonin is barely helping (maybe I need to take 5 mg??) I tried shutting the curtains but it never fully closes, so light is still coming in from the city streets. I got 2 nights left at this place, so how tf can I sleep? Do I just take a Benadryl? I try to avoid meds like that but at this point I’m desperate. I don’t want my hearts health to go to sh*t over this. 3 nights no sleep is crazy enough and now it will turn into 5 by Friday.

I have a couple questions for y’all.

1. What will the cast do now that it’s over? Are they all friends IRL? I know Madison and Madelyn are close IRL, and JP + Cleo are close IRL. Idk about Drew, Chase, etc.

2. Why do you think Jonas decided to end it at season 5 specifically? Do you think Rudy played a huge role in the vibes just being off on set and Jonas decided the charm was gone and it needed to wrap up? (Plus, think about the Madelyn and Chase tension)

3. Do you think this was the best thing majority of the cast will ever act in? Or do you think they’ll grow to do larger things?

4. How likely is it that they do a spinoff show?

Pardon this vent, it’s probably because I’m getting my period in like 24 hours lol. I feel like a lot of people are joking on here when they say “I’m so sad it’s done!” But I’m not even remotely joking. I’ve been in a sad mood today ever since I finished it two days ago. I keep randomly crying when I see an edit on Tik Tok (it’s all over my FYP). Maybe it’s because it’s painfully nostalgic. It reminds me of how fast time goes by. I was only 17 when it came out, and I was navigating the lockdown/COVID. It was comfort for me and my family. The cast was all still young IRL and sooo bubbly and always together. I’m now in my mid twenties and it just brings me tears that time went by this fast. Not saying the cast is old but obviously they’ve all aged a bit. Chase was 27 when he started and now he’s 33. Cleo is also in her 30s. Madelyn was like 21 when she started and now she’s 27. It just makes me so emotional and reminds us that time slips through our fingers. I’ve never seen a show quite like it tbh. I’ve watched so many Netflix shows over the years and despite it being a corny show, I’ve never watched something with as much coolness as Outer Banks. It was so unique and refreshing.

Also thinking about how Chase Stokes was living in his car prior to this show. This was his big moment and he’s so grateful for it, it made me tear up.

Do I think they’ll do a spinoff? Prob not. Do I think the show was ready to be done? Yeah. It’s just a hard pill to swallow. Ugh.

I’m deathly allergic to peanuts and lupin (found out recently lupin bean is a very common allergen for people with peanut allergies. I learned the hard way and almost died). My dad bought these protein shakes and one of the ingredients is “Adzuki” bean which is indeed a legume. I think I’m traumatized from my anaphylactic shock experience with lupini bean. I’ve never even heard of adzuki bean in my life. I assume it’s from Asia or South America.

testing doesn’t exist for this bean, so how tf can I know if it’s safe for me to consume? I’m fine with chickpeas, fava beans, peas, soybeans, kidney beans, black/pinto beans, edamame, basically most legumes I’m fine with.

For context, I’m a white female and my close friend is East Asian (female). I’ve known her for 5 years. We’ve always been tight. We both love learning languages (I listen to music in her parent’s language and also know some basic phrases), we both love movies and global foods. Literally so much in common. I’ve always perceived it as a strong friendship.

I know very well that systems are set up to benefit white people 100%. I will never experience racism the way minorities have, especially in America. I grew up around mostly POC, I don’t really have any white friends. I’ve only had this experience with her lately, so it’s stuck out to me.

I’ve noticed her personality has changed quite a bit and most conversations turn into race, specifically about white women (not sure if Tik Tok has a heavy influence?? She’s a doomscroller). We normally talk about lighthearted topics, like working corporate, boys, adventures, college memories etc. Over the past 5ish months, it’s been really prominent, like I’m talking every single day, multiple times, race is brought up. Even today, we’re supposed to talk after work, and I just know something new will be said.

Some examples (these are all verbatim):

1. I told her as a joke that I love getting revenge on guys who disrespect women and that I can’t stand letting stuff slide, and her response was “I need to be careful about the way I word this but you’re a white woman so you can get away with anything you want. I could never do that. You’re a basic white woman and they would all believe you over me.” Is she wrong? No. But it just felt odd to bring up race in such a random convo.
2. I dyed my hair dark brown, but I’m a natural blonde with light eyes. She knows that. She randomly in a convo goes “So many male Asian doctors marry these ugly mediocre looking white women, and they all have blue eyes blonde hair.” I laughed and agreed with her, just shocked.
3. The other night, she randomly goes “uggg why am I on the straight blonde white woman side of Tik Tok? I’m so annoyed.” I replied with “That’s interesting because my feed has none of those people and most of that is based on the content you’re consuming.”
4. We were on FaceTime and she took a screenshot of something and my face was in the background. I just thought it was so funny cuz my face was obviously not camera-ready. I said something like “omg that pic is so funny of me. I look like a rat” and she goes “don’t worry girl, your face isn’t memorable. JK!” And I was like “lol yeah it was just funny to me” and she goes “there’s nothing really special about white women looks.”
5. We were asking fun questions to each other one night and I asked her what her type would be if she was lesbian, and her reply was “well it definitely wouldn’t be blonde haired blue eyed white women ewwww. I would only do it with an ethnically ambiguous or Asian/South Asian woman.” I was like oh ok, yeah my type would be dark hair and dark eyes for sure.
6. I told her my other brother is still figuring his life out cuz he has some mental health issues and can’t land a corporate job at the moment, and she goes “It must be nice to have that privilege. He can be a bum and stay at home because he’s a white man. If a man from my race did that, he would be shamed and looked down upon.” I didn’t say this to her, but in my head I was like how is this even relevant to the convo? Asian career/success culture is a whole diff topic than privilege/racism.
7. * Mind you, she’s super rich herself and her parents are doctors. She herself had mental health issues in college and stayed at home for a while and delayed her graduation. So I was like girl what???
8. She said one time “It’s so interesting how normal you are for a white woman. I’m glad you’re aware of minorities and the oppression we face.” Is this a nice comment? Yes. But given all the other comments, it’s just so hard for me to pinpoint where I stand in our friendship.
9. She said that white blonde women are able to be quirky and weird without being judged by society, and they’re performative and bully the “actual weird girls”. She refers to herself as one of the “actually weird girls”. Is there some truth to this? Probably. I have no idea because I don’t consider myself quirky and I certainly have never bullied someone in my life.

I could list so many more examples but I guess the reason I’m here is because I don’t know what to do. Why not save these intense comments for another Asian woman or even a therapist? Why say them to me? It’s tough because as a white person, I am indeed very aware of my privilege and I don’t want her to be uncomfortable by me purely existing in this friendship. I guess I am confused because her actions and words don’t align. Her words make me think she literally h@tes me, given how much she brings up white people (specifically white women). But her actions make it seem like she loves me as a friend (she’s constantly calling me, FaceTiming me, inviting me out). I can’t tell if it’s passive aggressiveness or if it’s just something I’m overreacting to. I’m very open to criticism, so please feel free to share your thoughts.

I genuinely have no idea how I’ll be able to do the presentation. My whole life I’ve had horrible anxiety before a presentation, and not just “oh I’m nervous”, but actually concerning heart rate levels and feeling like I’m gonna pass out. Taking a risk has never “made me stronger”. One time many years ago in high school, I gave a presentation and blanked in the middle and just stared at the partner I was presenting with. I prepped so much and still froze and thought I was gonna faint.

I work fully remote now and even for the tiniest comments, I have to mentally prepare and write out a script. My team has daily scrum calls and whenever I have to talk, my heart literally jumps out my throat and I can’t breathe. Even just to say “Hey team, here are my updates for today: etc”.

This presentation on Friday is in front of 35 people (no camera via Teams), and it’s a “Get to know me” presentation, so I have to talk about myself and my hobbies etc. I still get the same sensation as in person - the faintness, heart rate going up to literally 130 BPM, mouth gets dry, can’t think straight, my natural voice changes too and I sound weird and lifeless. I have no idea why cuz in casual settings outside of work, I’m super social and love talking to people. I’m not socially anxious in general. It’s specifically presenting.

I have naturally low BP, so idk if m3ds would be safe since it lowers BP significantly and I would only need it for this very specific 5 min period in the day. Any tips????

I got my lashes removed this morning because yesterday I got a fill and became allergic overnight. Congestion was my biggest symptom at first (I’m still congested in the nose btw even after the removal this morning)

Despite me getting my lashes removed this morning, my eyes are still pretty irritated. They’re not bloodshot nor puffy. They’re just so itchy and there’s a light red/purplish line above my eyelashes on BOTH eyes that’s the most itchy area (but tbh it’s the entire eye lid and also my lower line as well). I did a saline rinse AND put allergy eye drops in after the appointment. I’m doing a cold compress now trying to sleep and it’s just so uncomfortable. My eyes are so heavy and itchy and not normal right now.

Do I go to urgent care in the morning for steroids or will this go away in another 24 hours? I’m so desperate to be normal again at this point.

I am having a relatively severe reaction to my lashes I got yesterday. Nose congestion and runny, some asthma, eyes feel horrible and sore/itchy even after shampooing.

I am getting them removed in 30 minutes. Will this mean instant relief? Or will I need to take a Zyrtec for the next 48 hours? I’m concerned about the glue being in my bloodstream. I’ve already had the lashes on me for 24 full hours.

Ok so not even exaggerating, I’ve noticed this really weird pattern. 3 men from my past randomly reached out to me over the past 4 months. 2 of them were insta DMs and the other was Snapchat. All 3 guys blocked me within 2-3 days of “talking”. But here’s the weird part…..we had the most normal convo and I didn’t reply for like 14 hours because my work gets wildly busy sometimes and by the time I get home I’m so exhausted.

Guy #1 blocked me on snap after I left him on delivered for 15 hours (NOT intentionally). We were having an amazing convo and even discussed grabbing ramen together. I’m SO confused. Guy 2 on Instagram DM’d me and we sent maybe 6 messages to each other - all very casual like “hey how are you these days”, “what are you up to?” “Where are you living” etc. I went to go reply to him and found that I was blocked, not even removed, but fully blocked.

Is this a new method red pilled men are being taught? I know for a fact one of them is red pilled because he follows Andrew Tate on insta. Is the advice to block women within a day if she doesn’t reply within 5-10 hours or something? It’s so strange and I’ve never seen this before until more recently.

I’m mid twenties / female. No childhood trauma / abuse/etc. Ever since I was a high schooler, I’ve gotten this REALLY strange sensation after cuddling and kissing a guy. AND also having a bf label. I remember when I was a freshman, this guy had a crush on me and asked me out. I barely knew him. I said yes and then an hour later I felt like I was gonna faint. I feel like I’m gonna puke or pass out after any physical contact (not hugging obviously, but cuddling/kissing/rubbing my privates even with clothes on). Not exaggerating. I tried taking a leap and got on hinge a month ago. I matched with a cute guy and we went on a few dates. He was very respectful and didn’t make any moves. We eventually hung out at my apartment and laid on my couch. Of course….he started cuddling me. I let it happen but by the end of it, I felt so sick and like I couldn’t breathe.

I noticed it first in high school with my first boyfriend ever. We always argued and werent that compatible at all. We never took our clothes off. Never. And every time we cuddled, he would squeeze me tightly and try kissing me and I always would push away and he would be like “why don’t you wanna make out with me?” I just naturally always felt so nauseous.

Here I am in my mid twenties approaching late and I just don’t know what to do. I feel so lost and hopeless. It’s strange because I love playing with myself (sorry TMI). I haven’t had a boyfriend in 7 years and my friends and family are beginning to think I’m lesbian (I’m not). I’ve never met a guy who I find attractive and fits my criteria AND is demi (if that’s what this even is). All men I’ve met wanna do it on the 2nd or 3rd hangout. My friends think it’s strange too. They think hooking up with a guy you meet a week or two ago is perfectly normal. I find it repulsive.

Can anyone relate or is this some other weird psychological thing going on?

It’s so funny when you’re a cancer and go on a date with another cancer. You can read them like a book. I could tell he was trying to love bomb me and manipulate (common among water sun and moon men). It’s just so funny cuz it’s like….hey twin….I know what game you’re playing and it’s not gonna work on me. Wrap it up 🤣 they are charming though. Water sun or water moon men always have a way with words…..and lying/manipulating. I swear they’re the OG gaslighters. They invented that term. Thank goodness for my strong intuition as a cancer sun (plus I have a water moon on top of that). So double the intuitive abilities. I know some of them are great, but it’s just a pattern I’ve noticed. I think it’s so funny.

I also noticed similar to Taurus men, cancer men LOVE women who are either their exact age or preferably OLDER than them. So it feels exactly liks when you’re a mom and you can tell ur kid is trying to trick you or lie, but they don’t realize you’re much smarter than them. You know exactly what they’re trying to do LOL. That’s the vibe I always feel with a cancer/taurus man. We’re always two steps ahead of them.

and if so, what was his/her moon and venus? and what is your moon/venus?

Sorry for the vent. I’m just feeling down rn. I really like this guy. Like a lot. I’m not allergic to any other nut, just peanut. The guy I’ve been talking to for a while is from India (lives in America now). He told me I will never be able to visit India with my allergy, not even for a short few days. He said it would be absolute hell and I would have to live off of boxed rice and snacks to be safe. He said every dish has nuts or cross contamination and in general, Indians don’t have nut allergies ever. He’s never met a peanut-allergic person in his life until he met me. I also saw a post a while ago on this thread about a girl who went to a wedding in India, and was told she would have special food made for her with zero nuts. She ended up in the hospital that night from anaphylactic shock. They basically don’t believe in allergies there and don’t understand the concept of being deathly allergic to any nut.

I guess I’m just feeling really sad and lost and embarrassed. When his mom makes food, I always reject it because I have no idea what’s in it. It’s to the point I’m wondering if I just have to date a white, black, or latino guy because ALL Asian cuisine is so heavily loaded with peanuts, esp Thai food.

Food is a way of spreading love and making connection, so I feel so out of place when I go to his house. And I feel so ashamed. It’s so embarassing being allergic to peanuts. His family also had this huge dinner party and I literally sat there just eating dosa with yogurt the entire time. I could tell people thought I was disrespectful by not eating the other food offered. I couldn’t eat any of the main dishes or curries because I didn’t trust them and had no idea what was in them. I also went to a Diwali celebration in his town, and the buffet had loads of food, and I had to eat Chipotle before going to the event and just sat there watching everyone eat this amazing looking food.

My allergy is so severe I will never outgrow it. I’m already an adult. Life sucks sometimes 😭 rant over

I was at the mall with my best friend of 13 years the other day. We’re both in our mid twenties for reference. She’s engaged to a man (she’s never been single in her life. Always jumped from man to man. She’s also very religious, specifically Christian Catholic. Just for context). I’ve never once judged her (to her face). I’m a hype women whenever we hang. I left the church many years ago, thankfully.

I’ve noticed lately some strange comments / questions made to me over the past couple months when we hang. For example, she asked me randomly why I think I’m single. I said “tbh, I don’t wanna compromise with a man. I just love my freedom and doing things my way.” And she goes “oof” with this disgusted look on her face. And then goes “I mean, as long as you’re compromising in other ways I guess that ok.” It was VERY passive aggressive. I then go “what exactly do you mean by me compromising? When you get married, you’re essentially signing a contract to be a sex slave, a maid, a cook, a therapist, a mother, etc. What is there to compromise on?? And she went silent and it was awkward for a moment and she changed the topic rapidly.

Mind you, she’s in the process right now of moving away from her family and friends to go live in the city her fiancé is in (she doesn’t wanna go there. But she puts on this fake happy face). So on top of everything I listed, you also have to give up your dream location to go live with him?? Got it. Where did I lie? Obviously I didn’t say any of this to her. I’m only expressing this to all of you.

She also asked if I’m lesbian twice in the past month just because I’ve been single for 5+ years (I’ve had flings with guys and had a bf for years in HS/early college). She also went “you don’t look lesbian at all, just to make it clear. You’re so feminine presenting and girly and bubbly. I’m just so curious though if you’re gay maybe?) and then she asked if I’m asexual. It all just feels like I’m being watched like a hawk and judged non-stop. Idc if she perceives me as lesbian because I know the truth about myself. I’ve never once in my life even experimented with a woman or gave signals of that. She purely is assuming that because I don’t have a man……

I seriously need friends who hate the patriarchy and stand up against Christian brainwashing. So far I only found one on Bumble BFF. She has a bf but shockingly is not male-centered. She has more of a business arrangement with him, so she’s very non-judgemental and lives life her way. She’s also not religious, so that helps too.