u/Hot_Fan_4169

So moist outside

I’m trying to go to the BST after work and I decide to take the 25 even though I know it’s going to add an hour to my commute.

I end up behind someone going 50 in an 85. Wtf. I go to pass them and I see Lauren Boboert giving you a BJ while you watch videos of Lord Polis on your phone.

What a nightmare. Take Bobert to a play next time.

My boy Chad blocked a shot with his Johnson while playing some back yard shinny with the boys. I don’t think I have to explain that one much further to ya. We had to grab him 3 beers once we got him up and over to the bench. One to drink and the other two to ice his new found shot blocker.

Moral of the story, always wear a cup. Even if it’s backyard shinny.

Thank you for your attention to this matter, eh.

I frequent the BST and Casa Bonita like any good native does and I’ve had fire lava diarrhea for the last week. My neighbor has had it too but they blame it on the tomatoes from Walmart that Lord Polis poisoned.

I sit here on the toilet wondering if any one else has had this problem so I can determine where I got it from.

Just use your years old expired tags people.

Don’t forgot to grab yours or risk being detained

I’m looking for an alternative to Grindr. Am I in the right place?

Denver, I’m a superhero

Today I’m driving down I70 and suddenly I see this lady pulled the side (dangerous if you ask me) getting stared down by the most ferocious mountain lion ive ever see.

I obviously squashed that mountain lion so hard with my lifted Subaru and saved that ladies life.

Does anyone happen to know who I saved today? I need them to pay for the damage to my car since I saved their life.

I’m unfamiliar with the airport but I want to check out a butt stuff tent on my lay over. I have a ton of bags and pets and a wife with me. Any suggestions on what to do with all that baggage? Will $10 be enough? Do they accept checks or should I bring a credit card?