r/DenverCirclejerk

Is this an evolved form?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Mark "Marky Jr" Elworth Calls for Legalizing and Regulating Prostitution and Cocaine

Libertarian argues personal freedom, public safety, and Colorado's tourism economy deserve a new approach

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO.

Libertarian candidate for Colorado's 5th Congressional District Mark "Marky Jr" Elworth is calling for the legalization and regulation of prostitution and cocaine, arguing that prohibition has failed to eliminate demand while creating black markets and wasting taxpayer resources.

"Colorado loves freedom, but we still spend enormous amounts of money trying to control what adults do with their own bodies," said Elworth. "It's time to ask whether prohibition is actually working, or whether it's creating more problems than it solves."

Elworth argues that a regulated system could establish safety standards, reduce the role of criminal markets, and allow law enforcement to focus on violent crime rather than consensual adult behavior.

He also sees a broader economic question for Colorado, where tourism and mountain communities depend on attracting visitors and supporting local businesses.

"Colorado's ski towns need thriving businesses, visitors, and new ideas," Elworth said. "We should be willing to debate whether a more open, regulated adult economy could create additional economic activity while respecting individual liberty."

Elworth acknowledges that legalization alone would not solve the challenges facing Colorado's ski industry. He argues, however, that policymakers should examine the economic and public-safety consequences of prohibition rather than treating the current approach as beyond debate.

A Libertarian Approach

Elworth's position reflects his broader commitment to limited government, personal freedom, and individual responsibility. He argues that adults should generally be free to make their own decisions, while government focuses on protecting people from force, fraud, exploitation, and violence.

"Government should protect our rights, not try to run our lives," Elworth said. "We can have an honest debate about regulation, public health, and safety without assuming that criminalization is always the answer."

About Marky Jr

Mark Elworth Jr. is a Libertarian candidate for Colorado's 5th Congressional District. His campaign emphasizes limited government, personal freedom, fiscal responsibility, and offering voters an alternative to the two major parties.

When will it stop?

Hoping to appease him for one more year.

Queen is doing her thing again this coming election season. You might want to get in line early because last time, the line went all the way out to City Park

Anyone?

She been busted. She tried to give Golden one of her famous showers. That town only big enough for one famous gold color piss.

Where is Denver? I am not seeing Denver. Do you see Denver? Is Denver in Pittsburgh? Thank you

Hi everyone! I was hoping someone in this community might have a good solution to this somewhat odd problem. One of my neighbors in Denver recently installed a fully autonomous home defense grid (two roof-mounted turrets, a ring of PTZ cameras, and a concert-grade line array of speakers on the porch columns). Every time someone walks down the front sidewalk, a red laser dot appears on their sternum and a calm British woman's voice begins counting down from ten.

I understand wanting security deterrents for porch pirates or people who park in front of your house even though it's a public street, but this is excessive.

Not only is it scary when you walk past to get to your house, it's also extremely annoying when it goes off multiple times every single night. Last Tuesday it locked onto a raccoon and announced "LETHAL FORCE AUTHORIZED UNDER C.R.S. 18-1-704.5" four times in a row. The raccoon has not been seen since. Neither has my recycling bin.

I like to keep my AC off when possible and have a window open at night, but the countdown is so loud you can hear it through the window. With a window open you're basically guaranteed to be woken up by "THREE... TWO... ONE... JUST KIDDING. UNLESS?".

I tried calling 311 to report a noise complaint, but they said that under Colorado's Make My Day law his house legally counts as a "sovereign fortress dwelling," and that his "castle doctrine radius" now covers the sidewalk, both tree lawns, the bus stop on the corner, and approximately 40% of my front yard. They said they were not able to follow up because the dispatcher's car got painted by the laser when they drove by.

I went over to talk to him but the doorbell camera just said "ADVANCE NO FURTHER, CALIFORNIAN" even though I am a native since last year. I have a current power bill proving I'm a native. I held it up to the camera. It scanned it and said "insufficient."

The HOA says it's fine because the turrets are painted in an approved earth tone. The mail carrier now delivers by trebuchet from the end of the block.

Any tips? Is this a Denver Water issue? Should I post this on Nextdoor? Does anyone know if the system honors the Broncos?

Edit: He just put up a sign that says "Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again. Kids eat free at Casa Bonita." I don't know what that last part means but I'm scared.

Edit 2: To everyone saying "just move to Aurora," that is exactly what he wants.