u/Hour-Acanthaceae7081

My son is approaching adolescence, and the concept of 'machismo' is starting to creep into his friendships, his relationship with his father, and into his interaction with the world in general. It's bound to happen, as it's everywhere. He's raised by my, a single mum, sees his neurotypical father regularly and has a good relationship with him. He has lots of good role models in his life.

Ingrained misogyny is EVERYWHERE, once you know how to recognise it. I am keen for my son to grow up being able to identify it on a basic, age-appropriate level, and not fall into the 'machismo' trap was he goes into adulthood; the idea that everything big, fast, strong, powerful, masculine is 'better' than anything that is kind, nurturing, feminine etc. But discussing these things can easily trigger his RSD, making him feel personally responsible, or like I'm telling him off, when it's nothing to do with him/his actions/his beliefs. You know what RSD is like.

Would love to hear from feminist mothers with more experience of parenting an AuDHD son! Thanks

Off the back of a discussion about the hosepipe ban and swimming pools, I decided to do some back-of-the-envelope sums to work out how effective the hosepipe ban might be and compare it to how effective repairing leaky pipes might be. I sort of wish I hadn’t 😂 So looking at just “thou shalt not swim”…

Large private swimming pools hold 50,000 litres. Many will hold less.

Water is lost through 

1. Evaporation
2. Pumping to waste (sand filter)

Evaporative loss can be minimised through judicious use of a well fitted cover.

Not all pools use a sand filter. Those that do will clean it weekly by pumping it essentially in reverse, the dirty water being pumped out. This loss can be minimised by meticulous maintenance - keeping debris and algae to a minimum so your filter isn’t getting filthy and needing longer/more frequent flushes or hoovering to waste. Clean pools use less water.

An outdoor pool that is used regularly and sometimes left uncovered, with kids splashing and getting in and out (so not trying to conserve water) loses about 25mm a week. Meticulously managed pools will lose less, but let’s go for an overestimate. 10cm a month for a 1m deep pool, let’s call it 10% loss per month, 50% loss per season. Typically a pool will gain a significant portion of this through rainfall, but let’s assume there is ZERO rain from start May- end September (typical U.K. pool season). So 50% is a massive overestimate but stay with me…

If we assume all pools are large (which adds to the overestimate), that’s 25,000l per season per pool to keep open. (For reference, an average family uses 500l per day, so this is 50 day’s worth of normal use).

There are about 250,000 private pools in the U.K. I cannot find the source for this statistic, so if anyone know a it or a better estimate please let me know! It seems reasonable 🤷‍♀️

6,250,000,000l to keep them all open, all season! Wow that’s a lot! 6.25 billion litres!!

Except…water companies waste nigh on 3 billion litres A DAY in leaked water (OFWAT figures)!

So ALL private pools staying open for the whole season uses the equivalent of two day’s wasted leaked water??!! I must have made a whopping error somewhere? Even if my sums aren’t perfect, it still puts it into perspective, the use of water by consumers relative to the loss of it by the water company. Mind boggling, and surely not right?!

*caveat: I did these sums while suffering tooth ache so that’s my excuse if they’re bonkers 😬🤪

I can’t seem to find the answer to this. Domestic pools are obviously included in the ban. From what I’ve read only pools that are newly constructed, housing fish, or for veterinary treatment (eg hydrotherapy) are exempt. So are public swimming pools not allowed to top up and will need to close once water levels make it hard to maintain? (Most pools need water level to be sufficiently high for skimmers, filters and pumps to work, I believe). What about other businesses for whom a pool is part of the service they offer/how they make money (eg hiring their pool out to swim schools, hotels etc)? Do they just close their pools? Seems a bit harsh on those businesses, no? Sports grounds can use water in areas where it’s needed if hard ground would make it unsafe - swimming is a sport too and using water to prevent the pool from becoming unsafe seems much the same?

If your income stayed the same for 5y, over that time cumulative inflation will lower your purchasing power by 20%. If you had to cut some costs to prioritise others, which would you keep and which would you sacrifice?

My 'keep' costs over the years have been:

1. kids education/activities/hobbies

2. pets, for wellbeing but some of them also provide food and earn their keep

3. health, in the form of insurance (I'm in the UK, this is a luxury) and eating organic as much as possible (I grow my own fruit/veg, as much possible)

And three things I've sacrificed in order to continue to afford the above:

1. Personal expenditure (e.g. clothes, shoes, nails, hair, coffee/meals out, sports, hobbies - conveniently, pets & DIY are my favourite hobbies, and my friends like doing cheap/free stuff too!)

2. Having a swanky house/adding value to my home (no refurbs, no cleaner/gardener, just maintenance) - this is a tough one! I like to improve things, and it's annoying not being able to afford to do what you want to do!

3. Gifts and parties for birthdays/Christmas. I'll do my best, and that'll do. It's not about the number of gifts or the party bag contents.

So, what would you compromise on and what would you hold dear to?!

I store several different 10-12kg bags of food in my garage. Looking for storage ideas that are rodent proof but aren’t just a ‘bin’ as they don’t make good use of space - is there a vertical storage option? That you can decant the different food into and scoop out what you want, but that are airtight when closed?

I store several 10kg bags of food in my garage. Looking for storage ideas that are rodent proof but aren’t just a ‘bin’ as they don’t make good use of space - is there a vertical storage option? That you can decant the different food into and scoop out what you want, but that are airtight when closed?

My son (11) is starting to get interested in music and specifically guitar. He’s always been around music (most types), has always had instruments around, and I play piano. However, he’s (so far, working on it) tone deaf (how is he my son??) and has ADHD so learning something that involves a dollop of frustration/failure can be tricky. But if he gets into something, he deep dIves!

I am very aware that my music general knowledge is rubbish - facts about music just fall out of my head 🤷‍♀️ So far I have put various things out there to help inspire him - introduced him to particular bands/artists, YouTube videos about guitar making, famous guitars and famous guitarists…researching his favourite songs (Brothers in Arms). He likes Dire Straits, Nick Cave, Beatles, Sting etc.

How or where can I find inspiration, and/or learn about ‘cool guitar stuff’?! Or should I just lurk here?!

Also, he’s starting guitar lessons soon and will likely want to learn a favourite song - how do you go about this? How do you figure out what songs he could play along with/how to do so? Or is this something a good guitar teacher will do?

Thank you!!

Hi! I'm looking for PFD suggestions (UK). I'll be going out with my son, and want space in PFD pockets for a phone and a few bits 'n bobs. What other PFDs should I be looking at? NRS Odyssey looks similar just different back - my seat isn't huge and I don't use the seat back much so I think this would also be fine.

We'll be using this kayak https://www.decathlon.co.uk/p/2-person-inflatable-canoe-kayak-tribord-100-yellow/364806/c233m8940326

Beginner, did a safety/rescue course, and have done some reading here...On my course I was told to make sure I have a knife and my phone on my person for emergencies. I see most people are "team knife inside PFD" rather than attaching it to the PFD. How do I keep a phone (in a waterproof case) and a knife safely on my person if my PFD doesn't have pockets? I know any ropes are an entanglement risk, so how do you do it?! I see a lot of people use Pelican phone cases which have a lanyard, but where do you attach the lanyard to? Is the little clip that holds the phone on the lanyard strong enough? It looks like it will just snap and the phone will go down.... Just how do you do it all?!

My son is a watch collector and is gutted the secondhand G-Shock GD-B500 his Dad bought him has a scratch on the strap. We are struggling to find a replacement - can anyone point us in the right direction please? I confidently said there'd be loads about...but none that I've found seem to be the same as the original? Thank you

I've hired kayaks several times (when there's a trainer person about to help if needed) and now have my own. I thought it a good idea to do a safety course before heading out on my own/with my child. Now, having done the Paddlesport Safety and Rescue course, I don't know why more people don't do it - it literally saves people's lives. Why don't people want to be safe on the water?? I know training doesn't mean people will always make good decisions, but at least they'll make informed ones.

Especially, people taking other people/children out should have training. If my child's other parent wants to take them out on the water without training, they can, and there's nothing I can do about it. Risking your own life is one thing (although arguably you are also risking the lives of emergency services and other water users who might have to come to your aid), but if you're taking others out then I think you should have training. I know this might be an unpopular opinion but in general us UK folk seem to have quite a poor approach with safety when it comes to water...(e.g. lots of us die each time it gets hot, and those deaths are mostly preventable)

Hi everyone,

Can anyone review any of the following books or suggest alternatives? I'm looking for walks in the South East, ideally the South Downs, which are accessible (car or train), reasonably easy to follow (my 11y old will be the navigator, an OS map which requires a compass to be used would go down well, but also need decent instructions to avoid getting lost), dog friendly, and up to 5 miles.

I've found these books:

- OS maps Short Walks Made Easy (seems perfect, but are they all busy popular routes? We all prefer less busy routes, to feel like we're exploring rather than joining the masses)

- Walks for All Ages; 20 circular walks in the South Downs (can't find any review/further info)

I'd usually just plan the route on an OS map but as I have child and dog with me, I'd rather have a more predictable route/outcome!

I had decided it would be cheaper to build my own duckling growing shed so my garage doesn’t get taken over each year…until I found this. I’m in the UK, I don’t have a van but can get timber delivered, but no discounts or access to free timber. Once timber is priced up, I don’t think I’d be able to make it cheaper than this, or build a better shed for the same cost. Am I right?

8x6 shed, single door, apex roof, windows, 12mm tongue and groove cladding, 34x44 timber, water based preservative;

https://www.rainbowgardenbuildings.co.uk/shop/shed-sizes/8x6/8x6-apex-shed-single-door-windowed/

It's renewal time. I'm conscious that while I haven't ever claimed, if I did, the 'hassle' factor of dealing with a claim would likely feel quite overwhelming and stressful to me. Are there any companies who are actually decent to deal with in these situations? A lot of cheaper quotes are 'Essential' or 'Online' and either don't provide ANY phone customer service, or work through Apps (which doesn't suit me), or have poor customer service reviews.

Has anyone had a good experience of dealing with a claim?