u/Hour-Blacksmith-6060

Me (26) and my brothers (29 and 31) are each about to receive an inheritance of somewhere between £15k - £30k from our grandmother, who passed away last year.

My oldest brother has been strongly encouraging us to put our money into buying a house together. He believes property is the most reliable investment, arguing that prices always rise and that, given our ages and current living situations, this could be our only real opportunity to get ahead financially. At the moment, I live at home with our parents and my eldest brother, while the other is renting elsewhere.

I’m currently unemployed and have struggled to find work, partly because I don’t have a driving licence and partly due to my mental health. I lost my last job due to anxiety and rubbish bosses, but I’ve since started therapy (talking therapy and EMDR), which has been helping.

Since I was 14, I’ve wanted to own a van, one that I can sleep in. Home life has been wobbly, and I’ve always been drawn to the idea of living more alternatively, being able to travel, and having the flexibility to work from different places. Because of that, I’ve been considering using some of the inheritance to get an intensive driving course and buy a small van. I think this would open up more job opportunities (many I want require a licence or are too far to commute), help me build independence and confidence, and allow me to feel less stuck as I have been living here. I would probably put any remaining money into a Lifetime ISA (which I’ve already opened), so I have the option to buy in the future (though buying isn’t even something I’m especially interested in long term).

I see the van as an investment that almost immediately goes into effect. My therapist and I agreed that it would be fantastic for my mental health and for my work opportunities, and my life would become more vibrant without having to wait for the payout of the house in 10-20 years, which isn’t even a guarantee, as I’d just have to trust that my brothers will upkeep the house and payments. I’d essentially just be putting away my money and hoping it’ll generate income, right? But if something happens and my brothers can’t pay the mortgage, then what? 

And by putting it away like that, I’d be back where I started right now. Unemployed, no license, bad mental health, stuck at home. I’m not saying that a van would fix all my problems, but it would certainly help. Who’s to say that by getting a van, I couldn’t get a job that would pay me comfortably, and I could save up that way anyway? And who’s to say I buy the house, spend my time struggling, and then suddenly die and have just wasted my time/money into something I never get to see the fruits of?

My oldest brother has dismissed this idea as “stupid” and “immediate gratification.” He believes his plan to buy a house just outside London ( where he wants to live), renting out the extra rooms, and eventually selling for a profit, is the wiser idea. He’s said that all three of us would be on the property ownership documents, that only he and my other brother would pay the mortgage as they both have somewhat stable jobs and careers, and that I would still own a third of the house.

However, the way he’s been presenting this feels quite forceful, almost like he’s trying to sell me on it by putting down my alternative. I understand that he may genuinely believe this is the best financial move for all of us, and that he’s trying to give me a chance to jump at an opportunity that I might never have (as he loves to point out that I have nothing going on for me, no job or career), but it’s made me uneasy.

My therapist has also raised concerns. He questioned how this arrangement would actually work in practice and encouraged me to think carefully about whether I feel comfortable trusting my money in a shared investment, especially given that both of my brothers have had somewhat messy financial habits in the past (frequent borrowing from our parents, not always repaying, and overspending on unnecessary purchases).

I have basically no knowledge about finance or property, but from what I can see, I’ve generally been the most cautious with money out of the three of us. I’ve never borrowed, and even when I’ve been mega broke, I’ve always kept at least £1k saved for emergencies.

We’re planning to have a discussion about this soon, and I’ll find out more details, but I feel unprepared. I’m not sure what questions I should be asking or what I need to understand in order to properly evaluate whether this is a good idea.

TLDR:

We’re each inheriting £15k – £30k. My brother wants us to pool it to buy a house, but I’d rather use my share to get a licence and a van to improve my independence and job prospects. Am I being stupid? Or is this sketchy? HELP! What questions should I be asking?