u/Hour-Hovercraft9052

Context: a fling type situation between me (21F) and an older guy(40M)

I’m really into this guy but I’m not ready for a relationship just yet, we’ve talked about actual feelings and experiences, been intimate, call each other after a long day, and ultimately have great chemistry.

I'd love to have the instinctive nonchalant attitude as opposed to sinking my teeth into a person I'm vibing with; but this is feeling a lot like the preview right before we might get into an actual relationship. I’m not sure how to figure out if that’s something I need right now, but I also don’t know think I want to put a stop to it.

The age difference between us can easily put me into a tailspin about having the conversation with my parents of
“I’m dating a 40yo”- I know what the instinct response to that will be from anyone who knows me but now him

TLDR;Is it unfair to stop what we’re doing since I’m unsure or is it more unfair to continue while being unsure. Also the age difference between us is a little jarring but I think we’re at a good middle ground maturity wise

I 21F have been seeing this guy (40M) and we’ve gone on dates, been intimate, spent the night together, and I enjoy making food for him too.

I got out of a relationship last month and we met a few weeks before I ended things with my ex boyfriend(I told him I needed to move on in life but I didn’t tell him that feeling a type of way about this guy influenced my decision so I didn’t cheat on him)
-I have a feeling that this fact alone makes sense for me to hold off dating anyone-

He and I spend some great time together and I keep on coming back to see him whenever time allows. There was one night we went out and our friends went to get more drinks; he brought up the idea of pursuing each other as in becoming official. I think he’d be a great guy to date but I’m worried about a few things
1)he’s been around the block so what if he has a great mask and is gonna manipulate me
2)he’s about 2x my age so:
a)judgement from others
b)long term may not work for us as I go through certain phases of early adult hood
c)power dynamics if boundaries go unchecked
3)what if I’m not ready for a relationship-
If I dive head in now it could ruin the possibility of a friendship, but if I back off to figure things out the spark could extinguish itself and I lost my opportunity with him
(It feels unfair to take too much time when trying to answer the question of should we date so is there a healthy way to keep being around a person without being selfish that their willing to give you attention ?)

We both know there’s a sense of novelty involved in the situation but I’d like to know as much as I can before we think about dating, like how things go if we disagree since I don’t want to date for 3-5 months. If I do pursue him I want that stability

Also I would do the same little things for him as a friend or family member I care about- I love hard but I’m not sure if I shouldn’t be as nice as I usually am since it’s been misinterpreted many times before

TLDR; 21F hesitant about pursuing 40M
I’d really like to date this guy but I could be feeling giddy since it’s still new. How do I figure out what I want with him? Things usually change when I’m in a relationship with someone, how can I tell before we try to get into a relationship

Context: I (21F) just started hooking up with someone(40M) older than me so something’s we will never see eye to eye on being that we’re literally from different generations. We’ve become closer friend wise and exploring each others body wise

We’ll go to a bar and he’ll touch my lower back or somewhere in the vicinity when we’re having fun, we can talk for hours and hold hands or touch each other’s thigh, hugs are always very close and with a little squeeze (if we’re alone it quickly turns to kissing hehe)

However, whenever we’re alone in bed it’ll be more us getting physical but doesn’t always lead to sex, there’s been a few times I’ll try to suggest things going farther but he’ll say no in a way that’s like ‘let’s take our time and have fun’

Being that I’m younger and can easily have love for anyone I’m close to should I keep my guard up in case he simply likes my body and not being alone or lean into it ? I don’t think he wants a relationship but it’s too early to ask about that imo.

I had someone say something about “since you’re so much younger you’re the prize, let him work for it” but the more he does the more the heart shape glasses come out towards everything he does

TLDR; I don’t want to get hurt in an 20 year age gap FWB, I know it’s subjective but what body language tells me how invested I should or shouldn’t be

I(21F) have some interest in this guy (40M) and we've already reached 2nd base(3rd depending on who you ask)

We're both introverts so he always finds me in his room a or whenever I go outside for a cigarette to take a break from socializing. We always have the best conversations when it's just us, and somehow my social battery is always a bit less depleted. I'm awful at flirting but I want him to feel desired whenever we have some time alone, but we gotta keep it on the down-low since its obvious the people that introduced us would not be happy about our extracurricular activities

TLDR: what can I say that doesn't make me sound foolish to someone who's been married. I'm open any nicknames or cute/attractive things i could say (Ideally that could get him all hot and bothered)