u/HowPatheticLOL

I (29m) live with my mom (54) and my brother (25) in the same house as my emotionally abusive and potentially dangerous father (57).

Since I can remember, he has been loud, obnoxious, abusive, and would just casually threaten us with violence. He was more violent when I was younger. I remember a point in my childhood where my mom left him to be with her mom and took me and my brother for a few days, but he said he’d change.

He is also an alcoholic and was sober from 2020 to 2025, but relapsed out of nowhere. He is trying to pretend it’s not a big deal and we are now walking on eggshells with him because he can snap at any moment for any reason.

My brother was born with muscular dystrophy and is completely physically dependent on other people. You would think having a child like this would make someone like my dad step up and try to be better, but he doesn’t.

My mom has finally has had enough after my dad has been taking it out on us about his stress about owning a new cat (something we didn’t ask him to get because we know he doesn’t have the patience for one) and is now looking into getting a divorce

The problem isn’t that my mom and I can easily just leave. We have the autonomy to do so. If it were up to us, we wouldn’t mind if there was a scene to be made. The problem is that leaving with my brother without him knowing would be the main issue. My brother has a lot of equipment he needs to live. BiPAP machine, big wheelchair, special bed, etc. We know if my dad will be aware of what my mom is planning, he will go nuclear. We are genuinely terrified over what he’d do, especially given the fact that he has a gun in the house.

My dad is an ex veteran and still consistently works out. He said he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder when he was dishonorably discharged from the army. He also faced an assault conviction in the 90s and was banned from North Dakota.

He’s also a retired bus driver. He was laid off from work because he started having seizures literally out of nowhere and was deemed unsafe to keep doing his job. He was let go around 2020, but he doesn’t do anything but just watch TV and occasionally go out for groceries, his doctor appointments, or taking my brother to his appointments (with my mom).

He has no friends. He has zero trust in anyone and can never maintain any friendship. He barely has a relationship with his family members and on my mom’s side. If my mom were to leave, he will literally have no one. And you know what they say about a man who has nothing to lose when he doesn’t have anything.

Because he doesn’t generally like people, and because my brother is immunocompromised, we never go out. We haven’t seen my mom’s family that much in years. My dad refuses to let my mom go on her own to see my grandma or aunt. My mom also doesn’t have a driver’s license of her own, so it would be hard for her to leave anyways.

I’m sorry if this post is scatterbrained, but I’m feeling helpless and scared for my family’s life.

I know for myself, I am 100% guaranteed safety because my girlfriend has been kept up to date and has told me I’m safe to stay with her.

I just want to know if there is anyone at all who has been through this? I don’t know what to do. We need to get out of this house. My brother just confided in me that he is feeling suicidal and that’s so fucked up. He shouldn’t be feeling this way and we shouldn’t have to have a father who refuses to change for the better.

I (29m) live with my mom (54) and my brother (25) in the same house as my emotionally abusive and potentially dangerous father (57).

Since I can remember, he has been loud, obnoxious, abusive, and would just casually threaten us with violence. He was more violent when I was younger. I remember a point in my childhood where my mom left him to be with her mom and took me and my brother for a few days, but he said he’d change.

He is also an alcoholic and was sober from 2020 to 2025, but relapsed out of nowhere. He is trying to pretend it’s not a big deal and we are now walking on eggshells with him because he can snap at any moment for any reason.

My brother was born with muscular dystrophy and is completely physically dependent on other people. You would think having a child like this would make someone like my dad step up and try to be better, but he doesn’t.

My mom has finally has had enough after my dad has been taking it out on us about his stress about owning a new cat (something we didn’t ask him to get because we know he doesn’t have the patience for one) and is now looking into getting a divorce

The problem isn’t that my mom and I can easily just leave. We have the autonomy to do so. If it were up to us, we wouldn’t mind if there was a scene to be made. The problem is that leaving with my brother without him knowing would be the main issue. My brother has a lot of equipment he needs to live. BiPAP machine, big wheelchair, special bed, etc. We know if my dad will be aware of what my mom is planning, he will go nuclear. We are genuinely terrified over what he’d do, especially given the fact that he has a gun in the house.

My dad is an ex veteran and still consistently works out. He said he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder when he was dishonorably discharged from the army. He also faced an assault conviction in the 90s and was banned from North Dakota.

He’s also a retired bus driver. He was laid off from work because he started having seizures literally out of nowhere and was deemed unsafe to keep doing his job. He was let go around 2020, but he doesn’t do anything but just watch TV and occasionally go out for groceries, his doctor appointments, or taking my brother to his appointments (with my mom).

He has no friends. He has zero trust in anyone and can never maintain any friendship. He barely has a relationship with his family members and on my mom’s side. If my mom were to leave, he will literally have no one. And you know what they say about a man who has nothing to lose when he doesn’t have anything.

Because he doesn’t generally like people, and because my brother is immunocompromised, we never go out. We haven’t seen my mom’s family that much in years. My dad refuses to let my mom go on her own to see my grandma or aunt. My mom also doesn’t have a driver’s license of her own, so it would be hard for her to leave anyways.

I’m sorry if this post is scatterbrained, but I’m feeling helpless and scared for my family’s life.

I know for myself, I am 100% guaranteed safety because my girlfriend has been kept up to date and has told me I’m safe to stay with her.

I just want to know if there is anyone at all who has been through this? I don’t know what to do. We need to get out of this house. My brother just confided in me that he is feeling suicidal and that’s so fucked up. He shouldn’t be feeling this way and we shouldn’t have to have a father who refuses to change for the better.

I (29m) live with my mom (54) and my brother (25) in the same house as my emotionally abusive and potentially dangerous father (57).

Since I can remember, he has been loud, obnoxious, abusive, and would just casually threaten us with violence. He was more violent when I was younger. I remember a point in my childhood where my mom left him to be with her mom and took me and my brother for a few days, but he said he’d change.

He is also an alcoholic and was sober from 2020 to 2025, but relapsed out of nowhere. He is trying to pretend it’s not a big deal and we are now walking on eggshells with him because he can snap at any moment for any reason.

My brother was born with muscular dystrophy and is completely physically dependent on other people. You would think having a child like this would make someone like my dad step up and try to be better, but he doesn’t.

My mom has finally has had enough after my dad has been taking it out on us about his stress about owning a new cat (something we didn’t ask him to get because we know he doesn’t have the patience for one) and is now looking into getting a divorce

The problem isn’t that my mom and I can easily just leave. We have the autonomy to do so. If it were up to us, we wouldn’t mind if there was a scene to be made. The problem is that leaving with my brother without him knowing would be the main issue. My brother has a lot of equipment he needs to live. BiPAP machine, big wheelchair, special bed, etc. We know if my dad will be aware of what my mom is planning, he will go nuclear. We are genuinely terrified over what he’d do, especially given the fact that he has a gun in the house.

My dad is an ex veteran and still consistently works out. He said he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder when he was dishonorably discharged from the army. He also faced an assault conviction in the 90s and was banned from North Dakota.

He’s also a retired bus driver. He was laid off from work because he started having seizures literally out of nowhere and was deemed unsafe to keep doing his job. He was let go around 2020, but he doesn’t do anything but just watch TV and occasionally go out for groceries, his doctor appointments, or taking my brother to his appointments (with my mom).

He has no friends. He has zero trust in anyone and can never maintain any friendship. He barely has a relationship with his family members and on my mom’s side. If my mom were to leave, he will literally have no one. And you know what they say about a man who has nothing to lose when he doesn’t have anything.

Because he doesn’t generally like people, and because my brother is immunocompromised, we never go out. We haven’t seen my mom’s family that much in years. My dad refuses to let my mom go on her own to see my grandma or aunt. My mom also doesn’t have a driver’s license of her own, so it would be hard for her to leave anyways.

I’m sorry if this post is scatterbrained, but I’m feeling helpless and scared for my family’s life.

I know for myself, I am 100% guaranteed safety because my girlfriend has been kept up to date and has told me I’m safe to stay with her.

I just want to know if there is anyone at all who has been through this? I don’t know what to do. We need to get out of this house. My brother just confided in me that he is feeling suicidal and that’s so fucked up. He shouldn’t be feeling this way and we shouldn’t have to have a father who refuses to change for the better.

I’ve been trying to find this video again for the longest time. I remember seeing this back in like 2014-2015. It was an animation video with a narration from a guy reminiscing about a painting he saw with his girlfriend at a museum, and the painting just had a red square. He goes deep into an existential rant about what the painting means, and it leads to him mentioning it led to an argument with his girlfriend and ending up saying “I hate that red square.”

I may be misremembering what the contents were, but that’s essentially what it was about. I know it was on YouTube, but every time I search for it, I can’t find it. Any help?