u/IEnjoyDadJokes

Good shape, low mileage...

Only driven from time to time.

Good shape, low mileage...

Only driven from time to time.

- Hi, why aren't you fishing?

- Well, I caught the fishes we plan on eating

- But if you caught more, you could sell them.

- And then what?

- Then you could buy a motor for the boat to catch even more fish

- And then what?

- Then you can sell more fish, get more boats, and even more fish, and sell that as well

- And then what?

- Then you can enjoy life!

- And what do you think I'm doing right now?

Cuz it's 10-4 GOOD BUDDY!!!

While taking a left turn the boyfriend asks " Babe , can you check if the indicator is working. "

The blonde sticks her head out the window and says...

" Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes..."

They said the suspect is believed to be mail.

So I took the battery out of the smoke detector.

So I took the battery out of the smoke detector.

I said I'd like to meter.

I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.

I think… he made it up.

I think… he made it up.

I said, “It’s my weekend immune system.”

I said, “It’s my weekend immune system.”

The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.

WHEN THE GUN WAS FIRED, THE ENGINEERS STOOD SHOCKED AS THE CHICKEN HURTLED OUT OF THE BARREL, CRASHED INTO THE SHATTERPROOF SHIELD, SMASHED IT TO SMITHEREENS, BLASTED THROUGH THE CONTROL CONSOLE, SNAPPED THE ENGINEER'S BACK-REST IN TWO, AND EMBEDDED ITSELF IN THE BACK WALL OF THE CABIN, LIKE AN ARROW SHOT FROM A BOW. THE HORRIFIED BRITS SENT NASA THE DISASTROUS RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT, ALONG WITH THE DESIGNS OF THE WINDSHIELD AND BEGGED THE U.S SCIENTISTS FOR SUGGESTIONS.

NASA RESPONDED WITH A ONE-LINE MEMO

"DEFROST THE CHICKEN."

I tossed him a bar of soap and he washed ashore

I tossed him a bar of soap and he washed ashore

So they gave me a cushion to sit on.

So they gave me a cushion to sit on.

The doctor says, “Have you seen a psychiatrist?”

The guy says, “No, just a werewolf.”